Surviving Winter
by Longboard917
Summary: While at the Captain America Smithsonian Exhibit, Samantha gets a chance encounter with a guy in a ball-cap. Little does she know she is about to help a guy who has no memory, serious PTSD, and is a piece of history that can possibly kill her in her sleep. Or his sleep. Should be simple, right? Oh, turns out HYDRA didn't end in the forties, that may kill them both.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: _Muffin_

"Sam, when are you going to get a boyfriend?" I heard my friend, Natalie ask. I looked at her wide-eyed, but silently suspecting something. I stood in front of the Bucky Barnes memorial at the Captain America Museum in DC.

"What are you planning?" I gave the blonde a suspicious look.

"Well you haven't had a boyfriend in about three years, so I thought I would hook you up," She smiled childishly, hoping it would appease me.

"Run that by me again," I tried to understand the words that came out of her mouth. I noticed that a man in a baseball cap looked over his shoulder, almost as if he was paranoid about our conversation. I subconsciously tucked a loose lock of my hair behind my ear, only for it to fall out again.

"You need a boyfriend, I'm hooking you up with a guy I work with; simple as that," Nat sat down on a bench.

I crossed my arms over my chest, covering my tan oversized sweater. She simply giggled like a middle school girl gossiping over something. It was then I noticed that she was smiling flirtatiously at the man in the ball cap. He simply hunched his shoulders, his jacket collar hiding his face as he turned away. I rolled my eyes at her antics.

"Don't do anything stupid till I get back," I pointed at her, to which she saluted at me mockingly. I walked over to the man in the ball cap, blowing the annoying stray lock out of my face.

"Uh- hi, I'm sorry about my friend over there, she's like that," I said nervously, hopefully not offending the guy, or myself in some weird fashion. Hell I didn't know if the guy even spoke English or not.

He had stubble all across his jaw, and somewhat long hair for a guy, the brunette hair reaching the nape of his neck. His jacket collar was popped up over a dark shirt. His hands were stuffed in his jacket pockets. He looked like he was lost, his eyes, as blue as they were, seemed to be just dull in a haze as he gazed at me. He looked rather handsome, in the roguish, dirty way he presented himself.

His gaze lowered to the dog tags that hung around my neck.

"Are those yours?" He asked. I looked down at the pair of dog tags that rested over my comfy sweater.

"No, they are my brother's," I took hold of them with one hand, as a form of remembrance to my big brother, the dumb ass that he was.

"Sorry," he gave a thin smile, as if it were a form of comfort.

"It's not your fault, he wanted to be his own Captain America. You should have seen him when we were growing up, he carried a trash can lid around like it was his own shield." I snorted at the memories that passed through my head.

"I'm Sam," I held my hand out to him. He stared at it like it was supposed to be my rabbit out of a hat or something. He hesitantly his hand out from his jacket pocket and took it. I smiled at him, pretending that I did not notice his actions as strange.

"Sam," he asked, I understood his confusion.

"It's short for Samantha," I explained, though one would think that it would be obvious to most.

"James," he said shortly.

"Nice to meet you, James," I smiled at the man, he gave a nervous smile back.

"So you hear on vacation?" he asked, shoving his hand back into his pocket.

"Nah, I just wanted to see what this place was like, I don't live very far, just a metro ride away. My dumb friend over there is on her day off, so she dragged me here."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, so do you live around here?" I asked, rubbing my arms together from the cold air circulating around in the museum.

"No."

"Hey Sam! We gotta go!" Nat gestured to her phone, which had the time on it. I checked my own cell phone, seeing the time.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, see ya around James," I waved as I rushed over to my friend. He lamely waved back as he sunk within the crowd. As I rushed through the crowd, in doing so I bumped into a man dressed in military clothing, wearing all black. I noticed that he had an earpiece in his ear. He was seriously intimidating.

"Sorry," I apologized to the man, who merely grunted in response. He seemed like he was a superior as he glared at me.

I caught up with Nat as we finally exited the building and were re-introduced to the city we lived in.

"So did you get that guy's number," Nat asked knowingly, a sly smile spreading across her face.

"No, don't get me wrong I wanted to, he seemed like a nice guy," I defended myself.

"Uh-huh, damn right, that boy was fine."

"Will you stop? God woman I don't know how I grew up with you?"

"I got you out of all the fights you managed to get yourself into, that's how."

"You mean get _me into_ the fights Natalie, god knows you were too much for your own good."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn well what it means."

With that our conversation ended, Natalie got a call from her boss that she needed to produce an interview with the Black Widow for the Washington Post. I went home, fed my three legged dog, Aussie. Shortly after I curled up in my grey reading chair and began sketching the man in the ball cap. I found a familiarity about him, one that would not leave me head. But for the life of me, I could not figure out.

Three days later.

Nat and I visited the Captain America Museum once more, Nat wanted to get a sturdy background for another column she had to do. We spent about three hours in the museum, I spent it wandering around, somehow finding myself at the Bucky Barnes Memorial. After Nat collected her information from the local historian, we left the museum and went to our favorite coffee shop.

We entered the coffee shop next to the metro station, sitting at the bar in the window. I ordered my usual; a bagel and cream cheese with a small black coffee. Nat ordered her enormous caramel latte where half of it was whipped cream. She was practically guzzling it as soon as she received it from Frankie, the barista.

"Is that the reason why you never sleep?" I gave her a look.

"It helps me focus," she said between sips.

"You sure? I thought it had to do with why you bounce off the walls?"

"Hilarious. So the guy for next week; he is super cute, he always dresses nice, he has a degree in the arts. I'm surprised that he doesn't have a girlfriend already." I shook my head.

"You are never gonna stop are you?"

"Not until you get married."

I groaned.

"What you wanna be alone for the rest of your life? Come on Sam, it's been three years since you had a decent relationship."

"I dot have time for a relationship, Natalie," I took a bite out of my bagel.

"Not true, and don't you deny it. Sketchbooks and reading is not a way to spend your free time when you can go outside and live it."

"Your jerk."

"Punk."

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted the man I ran into the museum, the one that was dressed in black. Across the street in a similar type of shop, he was sitting at the window bar stool, food in front of him but he made no attempt to eat it, he just kept staring at the two of us. It was unnerving. Natalie seemed to notice my expression.

"Sam what's wrong?" she asked, her light heartedness changing.

"That guy across the street looks suspicious, like he's watching us." I explained. Nat looked at the man across the street.

"Maybe he likes you." She said slyly.

"Or he's a stalker." I reply flatly. I turned to look back at the man across the street, finding him peeking over his newspaper. I noticed that he wasn't looking at us, but at a guy sitting on a bench with is hands in his jacket pockets. I instantly recognized the guy, James.

I got up from my seat and went up to the counter.

"Hey Frankie! Can I get a blueberry muffin to go?" the blonde haired barista smiled and pulled out a muffin, placing it in the coffee shop's signature bag. I paid for the item and the blonde handed me the bag.

"You don't eat muffins," Natalie stated as I approached the door.

"I know, I'll be right back," I pushed the bar of the door, opening the door. I walked out on the crosswalk weaving between the crowds of businessmen. I walked up to the bench where James sat, alone. He seemed to know I was approaching, lifting his head to look at me.

"Hey, fancy seeing you here," I gave him a smile. He merely blinked, giving a thin line while nodding his head.

"Yeah," he replied shortly.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked. He made no response. I sat down beside him, clutching the muffin. I heard his stomach grumble, causing me to smile.

"You hungry?" I asked. James lowered his head.

"Here, it's a muffin." I offered him. He hesitantly took the bag, but did not make any attempt to eat it.

"Thanks," he gave a nod.

"You alright?" I ask.

"I'm fine," he said rather unconvincingly.

"Uh huh, right, you're about as bad a liar as my brother," I chuckled. He looked at me wide eyed. It took me a moment to see he wasn't looking at me, but at the man in the military garb, almost like he knew him. To me it didn't look like it was someone he wanted to know. I looked at the man in the black before turning back to James.

"You know him?" I asked, albeit worried about the answer. His eyes practically answered for me; he was afraid of him. It was then I made my decision.

"Come on," I stood up, offering him my hand. He looked at me like I had two heads. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his free hand, careful of not letting him drop the muffin I paid for.

"What are you doing?" He asked as we crossed the street.

"Helping you." I said, looking over my shoulder to see the man in black was no longer sitting in the window. My pace instinctively quickened.

"Hey I paid for the meal you never finished. Who's this?" Nat asked as she walked out of the coffee shop.

"Nat this is James. James this is my friend, Natalie," I quickly introduced them, occupied with trying to find the guy in black.

"Oh I remember you, you're the cutie from the museum," Nat went into her flirtatious mode.

"Not the time, Nat," I eyed her. She took it under consideration for a millisecond before she ignored me. James just stood there awkwardly shy. Nat checked her designer wrist watch.

"Come on, we'll miss the metro," Nat said before walking up to the metro escalator. I motioned for James to follow me, which he obliged. Nat stood a step in front of us, and I stood beside James. Taking a quick glance behind my shoulder, I saw the military man in black, now standing with three other me at the top of the escalator.

"Are those guys after you?" I whispered to James. His head snapped up, looking at me alarmed.

I'll take that as a yes.

We reached the end of the escalator and quickly paid for his metro pass and quickly blended in with a large crowd.

"This way," I grabbed his hand and weaved through the crowd, careful not to look to conspicuous. Nat trailed behind us keeping an eye on the men in black. The metro was boarding and thankfully it was the one that would lead to my apartment. I rushed to the nearest door and the three of us entered just as the doors closed, cutting us off from the military men.

The metro jolted to life, slowly but surely gaining its speed. Through the window we saw as the men in black glared daggers at us, as if saying 'This isn't over'. Their demeanor sent shivers up my spine.

"Wow, that was a close one," Nat sat down in an empty orange seat. James and I took the two empty seats across from her, me sitting next to the window.

"Why were those guys after you?" She asked James, heading straight for her reporter mode, which was sometimes a little too much for some people to handle.

"I don't wanna talk about it." He looked at the floor, almost ashamed. I noticed Nat was going to ask another question but I stopped her from doing so.

"Okay, so where you from?" She leaned back in her seat.

"Brooklyn, I think," the last part almost went unnoticed, almost.

"So you're from New York, what's it like?" Nat asked.

"It's a city," he said unsure.

"Well duh, it's New York City, it's kinda the concept."

"What did you mean by 'you think', you don't remember or something?" I asked. James made no effort to respond, though it basically answered my question for me.

"You don't remember do you?" A thin line spread across my lips.

He nodded slowly, pursing his lips. I felt a pang in my chest.

"Ouch," Nat said aloud hissing through her teeth. I gave her a flat look. The metro was slowing down, reaching its next stop. Nat got to her feet.

"This is us," she said grabbing a pole for support. I got up, as did James.

I looked at him, his eyes were downcast, lost as they were when in the museum. I saw a familiarity about him but could not for the life of me put my finger on it. I looped my arm his, stirring him from his train of thought.

"You'll figure it out, don't worry," I gave a thin smile, hoping to cheer him up. He blinked, showing no emotion what so ever.

"Come on you two," Nat said in her child-like demeanor. I stuck my tongue out at her and led James out of the metro.

"So was that a train?" He asked abruptly.

"The metro? Kinda, it's a subway," I explained.

"What's that?"

"An underground train, I think." We walked up to the exit escalator, James, still holding the muffin bag I gave him. I held onto his arm, which was abnormally cold, and felt like it was built out of stone. Literally, it was rock hard.

The three of us walked a couple blocks, the sun beginning to sink below the city skyline. We reached my apartment, which was where Nat parted with us. I waved as she walked further down the street to her own home.

"Do you need a place to lay low?" I turned my attention back to James. He looked at me, almost like a begging dog with its big sad eyes. He gave a nod, remaining ever silent. I gave him a fond smile before I unlocked the door to my apartment building.

"Mrs. Jensen, I'm home!" I hollered to my landlady who lived in the small townhouse apartment.

"Bout time you showed up! I thought you was dead! Oh my, who is this fine fellow?" The elderly woman held a hand to her chest surprised to see James standing next to me.

"This is James, he's a friend who will be staying with me for a bit," I explained shortly as I began climbing the steps to my flat. James was not far behind.

"Well he can stay as long as he likes, just as long as you two don't make too much noise!"

"Wilma! He's not that kind of friend!"

"What-ever you say dear."

I groaned, viciously grabbing the railing as I continued to my flat. James following confusedly behind me. I unlocked my door and was tackled by my three-legged Australian shepherd; Aussie. The Blue Merle licked my face repeatedly, excited that I was home.

"I missed you too," I laughed as he wagged his non-existent tail. James stood there with a blank expression, though it did not go unnoticed by Aussie. He trotted over to the man, scratching at his leg for James to pet him. The man in the ball cape looked down at me for an explanation.

"He wants you to pet him," I supported myself on my elbows.

James still stood there, making no attempt to move. Aussie whimpered, tilting his head in question. I sighed and got to my feet, not before getting a good solid look at the man under the hat. It was then something in my head clicked together. All those stories my uncle would tell me and my brother, how this man was supposed to be dead. Instead he had no idea who he was.

The color drained from my face.

"Bucky Barnes?" I said aloud.

James' eyes became wide as saucers, backing up a step. Aussie simply stood up still wondering why the man would not let him. I saw his nervousness, he looked scared.

_He was scared. _

I took a steady breath and stood up on my feet, patting my leg twice, a signal for Aussie to back off.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, I swear. Just come inside before Mrs. Jensen actually thinks something is wrong. Believe me, she'll call the police if you give her the wrong look," I begged him to enter. He paused, unsure of his decision. He hesitantly stepped into the dark apartment flat that I rented.

I flipped on the light switch as I followed him, allowing him to take in the place which I called home. The kitchen was the first place he looked at, no emotions or expression forming on his face. I threw my keys in the bowl that stood beside the door on a shelf, exhausted on what I now had to explain.

_Bucky Barnes was in my apartment_.

James Buchanan Barnes was in my apartment. If my uncle or brother were alive, they would hound him for information on Captain Rogers. Thank god I was the normal one of the family.

I maneuvered past the man in my small kitchen, reaching for Aussie's dog bowl. The Blue Merle started bouncing about, excited he was getting a meal. I opened a drawer, which held the enormous dog food bag. Taking the scoop within it, I withdrew two cup-fuls of the brown kibbles that Aussie cherished. Once the bowl was full I set it back down, allowing the three legged dog to hound over it as he ate.

I stood up straight once more, stretching my aching muscles from a long museum trip that pretty much ended up with me having a museum piece in my living room, staring at my flat screen TV strangely.

"That's a TV." I said walking over to the linen closet in the hall. I pulled out some bed-sheets, setting it in my grey reading chair before shutting the sliding door. I gently picked up the fabrics, which were surprisingly heavy for being made of light fabrics.

"You can take your hat off you know," I held the sheets in my arms as I gestured to the man's hat.

He took it off, as if ordered, releasing his hair, which did not look like the pictures in the forties. It was shaggy and long, strands of brown hung over his eyes, making him look even more depressed than he already did.

"You can take a shower if you want, it's down the hall on your left," I said walking to the guest bedroom, which was in the opposite direction of where I was talking about. I heard no footsteps, no movement that would presume that the historical artifact in my living room went anywhere.

I struggled to make the bed, wrestling with the sheets as they did not want to be used. Once one layer was done, I went to battle with the other. No matter how much I tried to make it look even, it would not look right at all. I simply gave up after that.

"Alright, guest bedroom is all yours. There are some of my brother's clothes in the armoire if you need them-"

I walked out of the guest bedroom to find that Bucky had sat down on the couch, and had placed the muffin on the table. Aussie had hopped on the couch, laying his head on Bucky's pant leg. I smiled at the sight, it reminded so much of when my brother first met Aussie after he came home.

"Well since you aren't taking a shower; or eating a perfectly good blueberry muffin; is there anything you wanna do?" I curled in my grey reading chair, my legs dangling off one of the arms. All I got was silence.

"Listen, I can't help you if you don't talk to me, okay? I can't read your mind." I sighed opening the bag setting the blueberry muffin beside it. I heard James stomach growl, yet he made no attempt to eat. I gnawed on my bottom lip as I sunk back into my grey chair. As I rubbed my eyes, I noticed that he cautiously picked up the blueberry muffin, and took a bite out if it to see if he like it. With a sigh of relief I let my head hang backwards, allowing me to get a full view of my ceiling.

"Don't forget to take the wrapper off okay, that part you're not supposed to eat," I said, not taking my eyes off my white ceiling. I heard him peel off the wrapper and he continued to eat the muffin. I closed my eyes relieved that he was eating something. That was the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I have edited and edited this to no end. On top of that school is whooping my but right now. I hope you guys like this. Thank god for sleepless nights! **

**Please Read and Review, I will always take advice!**

* * *

Chapter 2: _Storm_

* * *

I awoke to the whining of Aussie inches in front of me. I could hear the faint sound of water running coming from the bathroom. I felt the warmth of the sun through my curtains, stinging my eyes.

'Funny I don't remember having company?' I thought to myself groggily.

I stretched my stiff joints, finding that a blanket was covering me. I realized that I had fallen asleep in my grey armchair, again. I rubbed my eyes from sleep and got to my feet, not before hitting my bad knee on the edge of my coffee table.

"Ow! Dammit not again!"

I seethed through my teeth; I would have to rearrange the furniture again if I kept doing that. I went over to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of orange juice, easily downing it. I looked down beside me to see Aussie staring back with his head tilted.

"What?" I asked.

I noticed that the guest bedroom looked like it had been used. I set my glass down and wandered into the doorway. My brows furrowed trying to remember what happened yesterday. I yawned, stretching my arms over my head as I turned around. When I opened them, I was suddenly thrown back into reality, remembering what happened within the last twenty-four hours.

"Oh." I said aloud.

'Don't I feel stupid,' I mentally added.

I briskly walked past the bathroom and into my own bedroom. Opening my drawers I found a lion king tank top, a red button up flannel and a pair of leggings that I used for running. Since they were the only things that looked relatively clean I threw them on. I pulled my brunette hair into a ponytail and threw on the red flannel as a cardigan. With that I rolled up my sleeves and walked out of my bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

I walked back into the kitchen and rummaged through my pantry for anything that would be considered a good breakfast. I heard the shower head cease and after a short pause the door opened, revealing my guest in only a pair of loose fitting grey sweatpants and a dark long-sleeved compression shirt that clung to him like a second skin. His hair was sopping wet, clinging to the back of his neck.

"Glad you're up; what do you want for breakfast?" I smiled at him. He shrugged slightly.

"Helpful," I chuckled turning back to look at the pantry. I caught sight of a box of pancake mix, and my mouth began to water.

"Want some pancakes?" I asked shaking the box. His brows furrowed in confusion.

"Its food," I sighed light-heartedly.

Bucky nodded slowly as if he was unsure at first. I smiled setting the box down on the counter. I grabbed the ingredients needed from my pantry, and some measuring cups for the water. I also brought out a bowl to mix up the pancake mix so that it would turn into pancake batter. I set my phone on Bluetooth with my JBL portable speaker, hanging the small device on a magnetic hook for my fridge. I turned on my music, letting the song 'Street Fighting Man,' slowly come to life.

I went to reach for the pan that rest on a hook that was a just out of reach. The last person who lived here had to have been a basketball player or something, because when I moved in a few years ago everything was too tall for me. I made adjustments to make everything within my reach, but for storage use I kept everything in the kitchen the way it was.

I struggled to balance myself on the counter as I tried to reach for the hanging pan. That was when I felt a presence behind me, and saw arms easily reach the pan without breaking a sweat. I looked up to see Bucky had moved from his seat and retrieved the pan for me.

"Oh, uh- thanks," I slipped my center of gravity down from the counter ledge, gently taking the pan from him. He was surely well built for a guy who was 95. Aussie ran between me and the cabinets, causing me to lurch forward, colliding with the solid chest of the long haired soldier. One of his arms wrapped around my waist out of instinct, and I could feel the tensions in his muscles on my back. A faint color of red decided to flush upon my cheeks, and now I was acting like a middle school kid at a dance with their crush.

"Oh! Sorry about that," I awkwardly backed away, straying from my train of thought. I set the pan on the stovetop, turning the burner on beneath it. When I turned around, Bucky was back in his chair, silently watching me mix the pancake batter quizzically.

I started humming along to the songs that played on my speaker, almost word for word. I was concentrating on making the batter form a perfect circle on the pan's surface. I grabbed a plastic spatula as I sang along to the Bruno Mars tune.

'Run run, runaway baby before I put my spell on you. You better get get getaway darling cause everything you heard is true!'

I bobbed my head to the beat like an idiot, but I often danced while I cooked.

I checked the clock; Nat would be here any minute. She would stop by every morning for free breakfast and a small chat before she went to work. Sometimes it was annoying finding that the woman was raiding my fridge while I overslept.

* * *

8:45

Right on cue, a knock sounded at the door. Bucky's head shot up and his muscles tensed; I could have sworn I heard some mechanics whirring with that but I chose to let it go.

"Hey- could you get the door, I'm a bit busy," I asked sheepishly as I balanced some pancakes on numerous plates. Another lay cooking on the pan.

Bucky nodded and got up from his seat, Aussie trailing behind him. He disappeared behind the side of the fridge, and I heard the turning of the knob, and the burst of chatter out of Nat's mouth.

"Sam! You won't believe the story I just got! Hey Aussie! Anyway, my boss wants me to go to New York to interview Tony Stark. The Tony Stark! Can you believe it! I mean I couldn't at first I was practically speechless. I'll be leaving for about a week, so I'm going to need you to take care of Milo for me, just make sure Aussie doesn't eat him while I'm gone alright! Hey hot stuff how's it going?"

I was surprised she said that all without taking a breath. I set the plates down in front of the two bar stools one of which Nat occupied, and the other yet to be occupied by a very confused Bucky, looking to me for an explanation.

"Don't look at me I can't translate that even if I tried," I scoffed lightly.

"So James, how do you like DC so far? Is her sarcasm getting on your nerves yet? If so you can move in with me, I make a great-," I shoved a mouthful of pancake in her rapid fire mouth so that she would stop talking.

"Serves you right," I gave a satisfied nod. Aussie barked happily. I turned to Bucky.

"Sorry about her, she doesn't know how to stop talking. Breakfast is ready so dig in," I gestured to the freshly made pancakes. He silently took a seat on the stool and began stuffing himself. I took my own plate and sat on the concrete countertop, indulging in my cooking skills.

"These are good," Bucky said between bites.

"Thanks," I smiled toward him.

"Oh; and don't forget you have that date when I get back from New York," Nat reminded me. I groaned my mouth full of pancakes.

"Do I have to?" I swallowed.

"Yes; you need to be romantically social."

"That's not even a thing," I gave her a look.

"It is when it comes to your love life," she pointed the form at me.

"I don't need a love life," I said flatly, pointing my own form back at her.

"Exactly why I am doing this," she stuffed the last of her pancake in her mouth.

"I still don't see a logical reason why I have you play matchmaker for me," I grumbled. I noticed that Bucky watched as he ate his pancakes, thoroughly amused.

"Because you need a boyfriend," Nat checked her phone before stuffing it back in her enormous purse. That purse was the lone reason why I refused to carry anything similar to it.

"Alright I gotta go, please don't do anything stupid till I get back alright?"

"How can I, you're taking all the stupid with you!" I shouted through the doorway of my apartment, she simply gave me a friendly road-rage hand gesture as she walked down the steps. I chuckled and shut the door, walking back into the kitchen and began to clean up the mess I had made while cooking.

I gazed at Bucky, all the color had drained from his face just as he was about to take a bite.

"You okay?" I asked warily.

"I think I've heard that before," he blinked, shocked.

"Really? Can you remember when?" I asked setting a plate in the sink.

"It's fuzzy, I can't tell, but I can hear a voice saying that," he rubbed his temples, clearly frustrated.

"So is there anything you wanna do?" I tried to change the subject, hopefully lightening his mood.

"I dunno," he said incoherently.

"Helpful," I untied my mess of hair, releasing it in waves of brunette locks that faded to a caramel color at the ends.

"Well I need to get Aussie some dog food, and I think you need some clothes that aren't my just brother's; wanna come with?" I asked him, grabbing my phone and wallet.

I threw on my black jacket over my grey one for extra warmth knowing that it was getting colder out. I also grabbed the brightly woven Swiss leash I bought for Aussie, since he loved to go to Petsmart and see all the people. The blue Merle was happily bouncing when he saw the leash in hand, and pranced up to me so that I could put it on him.

I looked back up at Bucky, who was uncertain in his decision. He looked at me with his blue hazy eyes, and I almost melted on the spot. God damn my hormones to an eternity of hell's inner circle of the damned.

"Just throw on a jacket and a pair of shoes if you wanna go, you don't have to change if you don't want to," I shrugged, massaging Aussie on the top of his head.

"Why do you say that?" He asked quizzically, his nose scrunching up in confusion.

"Why do I say what?" I replied confused.

"If you want," he stated, "Why do you say that?"

"Because it's not my job to tell you what to do, I'm not your mom," I shrugged, "We live in a free country where everyone can choose what they want to do on a daily basis."

"Oh," was all he said before he retreated to his room, slamming the door behind him. I looked down at Aussie, who was in turn looking up at me.

"Was that a yes or a no to you?" I asked the furry creature that was practically attached to me. After two minutes of waiting I simply took it as a no and grabbed my keys. Aussie and I exited our apartment and the steps to it. I waved to the Mrs. Jensen as we passed by her own dwelling.

"Stay out of trouble dear," she said grumpily, as always, in her drunken granny state.

"Stay off the drugs," I stuck my tongue out at her, only to receive a certain finger in response. I laughed and exited the building. The two of us walked in the brisk autumn air, I tugged my jacket closer to my body as the wind whipped through the streets.

* * *

We walked in the Petsmart and went straight to food aisle. I grabbed a bag of his favorite food and went to pay for it, not before stopping by the shelter that they had in the store. There were a bunch of cats in the shelter, and I couldn't help but melt at the sight of them sprawling out across the blankets. Aussie had no problem with cats; he only had a problem with Milo, for a reason unknown. I had always wanted a cat, but I already had my hands full with Aussie. I patted Aussie on the head and went to the check out.

"This everything?" The dark haired cashier asked. I nodded reaching for my wallet. Aussie patiently sat by my feet.

"Cute pooch," the cashier smiled fondly.

"Thank you," I returned a smile. I paid for Aussie's dog food and we exited the building. I stopped by a pet-friendly store on my way back, making sure to buy some shirts for Bucky. I bought some a size bigger than what my brother wore so that the fabric would shrink to a proper fit in the dryer. Once that was finished; Aussie and I walked back to the apartment.

"Hello Sam," I heard a familiar voice drawl as I passed an alley. Aussie pranced up to the man he knew since he was a puppy.

"Fury? What are you doing here? Especially after the whole SHIELD thing?" I asked.

"Thought I'd pay you a visit before I went overseas," he tilted his head.

"You're going overseas? Why?"

"Business," he gutted.

"You're no fun."

"And you are too much like you're uncle."

I smirked.

"Well kid, been fun catching up with you. I best get going, wouldn't wanna miss my flight." The leather-clad-former-director patted my shoulder.

"Nice seeing you too Nick," I smiled. I began to walk away, Aussie by my side as always.

"Hey kid." I turned around to face the elder man.

"Watch your back, and remember; keep both eyes open. Wouldn't want you paying a permanent visit to your Uncle Phil now would we?"

I nodded as a response and Fury slunk back into the alleys. I took note of his words and walked back to my apartment. Aussie was ever oblivious to the conversation that went on, and kept up his happy-go-lucky nature as he trotted beside me.

I returned to my part end without incident, or anything that looked suspicious. I unlocked the door and found nothing had been altered in anyway as it was when I had left.

* * *

Much time had passed between when I had left and when I had returned. The sky had darkened due to the impending storm, as well as the coming winter nights. I hadn't realized that I spent the entire day shopping around for Bucky, only managing to procure a single grocery bag full of shirts and gym shorts that were most likely too big for him. I also bought a pair of socks with the captain America emblem stitched into them. I could not pass up the sight of them in the store, knowing who was in my apartment; I could not wait to see his reaction.

"I'm home!" I called out.

I set my keys in the bowl and let Aussie off his leash. I hung my coat upon the hanger of the door and poured Aussie's food in the container. I set the bag of Bucky's new clothes on the counter. I noticed that Bucky's door was still closed.

I threw the empty bag of dog food in the trash as I exited the kitchen. I cautiously walked over to Bucky's 'room' and knocked.

"Hey you alright?" I asked the wooden door, hoping the person on the other side would hear me.

Silence filled the air, allowing tension to grow within me.

A cringing scream was my answer.

"Bucky!" I called, my voice laced with fear.

I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I tried ramming it with my shoulder, but that didn't work either. I backed up and kicked the door, effectively forcing it open.

The room was dark, and an almost lifeless figure sprawled on the floor. Bucky was in the fetal position, his hands at either side of his head. His eyes were shut so tightly it looked like they were sewn. He wore no shirt, and he laid on his left side.

"Bucky!" I rushed to his side. I knelt down to his level and gently touched his shoulder.

Two things happened as my fingers lay upon his skin; his left hand wrapped around my neck; and I was shoved up against the wall to where my feet could not touch the ground.

His eyes were no longer in a dull haze, but were clouded by a fog of rage and pent up emotion. His hand tightened around my neck, closing off my only airway. I pried at his grip only to find it made of iron, literally. I gazed at his entire arm, finding it made of metal through the glimmer of the little bit light that shone through the curtains.

"Bucky! It's me! I won't hurt you!" I rasped as I tried to breathe. I looked into his eyes, seeing the rage that clouded them slowly begin to waste away, and replaced with fear.

He released me as if I was poison, and I sunk to my knees gasping for breath. My hand instinctively went up to my throat, hoping to try and lessen the pain upon my esophagus. I coughed and rasped unattractively as air entered my lungs again. It took me at least two minutes to breathe properly again.

I looked up to see Bucky seated on the edge of the bed with head in his hands. I sat there in a confused awe, mainly because I didn't notice for this entire time that he had been here, his entire left arm was metal.

_Metal._

How. Did. I. Not. See. That?!

Bucky was cursing in another language; I'm guessing a European one at that.

"Bucky?" I offered his name, slowly shuffling myself to where he was. He made no attempt to answer, but he silenced in his cursing.

I was now at his knees, and I supported myself on my own. I took hold of his hands, forcing him to look directly at me. Even in the darkness of the poorly lit room you could still see the bright blue eyes; and they still had a dead haze.

"I could have killed you," he swallowed.

"But you didn't." I countered, albeit unconvincingly because of my raspy voice as I swallowed.

He shook his head; "I shouldn't be here. I should leave."

"And go where? Bucky, where are you gonna go_, you're being hunted_."

"_Exactly,_ it will put you in danger. _I_ just put _you_ in danger, and _you want me to stay_?!"

"I have been through worse; believe me. Don't think you're the first nutcase I've run into."

He gave me a look, the corners of his mouth twitching upward at my remark. I returned a fond smile, but it faded as my eyes gazed at his appendage.

"What happened to you? Do you remember?" I asked, my hand grazing over his metallic fingers. The brunette simply shook his head.

"I remember falling. And then waking up, finding them drilling and my arm was gone. I also remember a room, and this chair they put me in. They turned a switch in and I would feel pain, and then nothing." He explained, his hands finding his temples. I furrowed my brows, trying to make sense of what had transpired. Then it just clicked.

"They wiped your memory." I said, fear lacing through my body.

"Gee that would explain a lot," he mumbled sarcastically.

"Well you weren't much help, you know the whole brooding in silence doesn't help me."

"Noticed."

"Is this what it's like to have a conversation with yourself?" I rubbed my temples.

"You said that out loud in case you're wondering," Bucky said, his head facing the doorway. I groaned, and I saw the man smirk.

I managed to get to my feet, steadying myself against the dresser by the door. I took slow breaths, since every time I took one I felt immense pain on the inside of my throat.

Rain was pelting the window, and the sky was ever darkening. Thunder racked the skies so loud it shook the windows itself. Aussie yelped and hid under Bucky's bed, only managing to hide his head, for the rest of his body was sticking out. Bucky snorted amused at the Australian shepherd, as did I.

Another loud crack of thunder sounded off in the skies, louder than the one before. Aussie jumped up onto the bed and curled up next to the shirtless soldier. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the bag of clothing I bought.

"Here, I bought some clothes for you, since you fit in my brother's size I kinda just based it off of that." I said sheepishly as I set the grocery bag on the wooden dresser. He simply nodded, running a hand through his head of hair.

"Doesn't that get annoying?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"What?" He gave me a look.

"The hair, it always being in your eyes. I can barely stand my hair being in my eyes, and my hair is longer than yours is." I shrugged.

"Sometimes," He said distant.

"You don't put it up or anything?"

"What do you mean?" he asked quizzically.

"Like put it up in a ponytail or a bun?"

"What language are you speaking?" He raised a brow. I rolled my eyes.

"Here, let me show you." I walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge so that I was still behind him, not interrupting his comforting Aussie.

I raked my hands through his head, gathering up his hair into a small bun at the back of his head. I took a hairband that I kept on my wrist and twisted it around the band of brunette hair. I shifted myself so that I sat crisscross directly behind him, my knees grazing his back. His muscles shifted as he tensed, allowing me to see his toned self from behind.

I shook myself out of my stare and went back to finishing off his hair. I kept it to only two bands around his hair, making it so it was not too tight, and he could maneuver it to his liking. I did not make It a ponytail either, mainly because I did not want to restart if he did not find it comfortable.

"What do you think?" I offered. He looked over his shoulder to gaze at me.

"Its fine," He mumbled as Aussie lay his head upon his lap.

I smiled at got up from the bed, petting Aussie as I walked in front of the two. The thunder was becoming distant, but the rain remain in its onslaught. I flicked the light-switch to the great area, only to find that the power had gone out. I blew a stray strand of my own brunette locks out of my face.

"Well that's just great." I said sarcastically, cautiously walking into the dark abyss of my dwelling.

"What?" I heard Bucky ask from what seemed to be directly behind me, causing me to jump.

"The power's out, I'm trying to find some light." I said casually, although I was on the verge of tripping over my own feet. I heard a coherent grunt, seemingly him acknowledging what I said.

As I blindly wandered about for any source of light. I banged my knee into the coffee table.

_Hard._

"Ow!" I shrieked in pain. Instinctively, I brought my leg up, but I lost balance and began to tip over. It wasn't long before I hit the ground in a heaping thud.

"You alright?" I heard Bucky ask, this time I saw his outline hovering over me.

"Yes." I said shortly.

"You're a terrible liar," he shook his head.

"Runs in the family," I muttered, wincing as I sat upright.

I felt arms sweep under my knees and around my back, easily lifting me up in the air. I began to feel immensely tired as Bucky carried me to my room. I laid my head upon his non-metallic shoulder as he walked through the doorway sideways, to keep my feet from hitting the wooden frame. He laid me upon my unkempt bed, Aussie curling up next to me for added warmth. I shifted to my side as the man pulled my duvet over my still clothed body.

Did I care, Nope. I was too tired to move as sleep over came me once again.

* * *

**I guess I have a thing for falling asleep at the end of chapters. Hopefully the next one will be better. **

**Hope you people liked it! **

**\- Sincerely, Longboard917**

**AKA Katie**


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Hi everyone! I have been taking advantage of all the snow days I've gotten and typed this up for you! I have also been working on my other stories with some friends so please expect chapters from them soon as well. I have also gotten into and old movie I watched as a kid, The Mummy. I had recently watched it again and once again fell in love with it. **

**Yeah I have problems. **

**Also check out my Instagram, I go by the same username! **

**Love you guys, remember read and review please.**

** Longboard917 **

* * *

Chapter 3: Date

* * *

It had been at least the third week Bucky had taken residence in my apartment. I had grown accustomed to him being there. I had also gone back to work at the book shop, my boss said I could take the evening shifts off since he was only keeping it open part time. I didn't mind at all, it allowed me to help out Bucky all afternoon, whether it being catching up on popular culture or teaching him how to cook for himself for when I would not be around.

I often came home to him watching a movie from my collection, or reading a book with Aussie curled up beside him on the couch. I found it amusing that he refused to go near the computer, fearing he would break it without him knowing. The most amusing thing so far was me coming home to him watching 'Finding Nemo', and I could not help but laugh as soon as I stepped through the door. Needless to say I have caught him humming 'just keep swimming' here and there. Every time I would have to contain my laughter, and almost every time I would fail.

He was slowly but surely gaining his memories back, yet refused to go outside, which bothered me to a point. I thought it would be best to get him out into the world, but he would remind me that he was being hunted by the people who wiped his memory, and if I were seen with him; it would endanger us both. I understood but that did not mean he had to live like a hermit.

I turned in my sleep, dragging the warm covers with me in possessiveness. I sighed as I indulged in the silence of my peaceful slumber, the light was not too bright to annoy me, and not too dark to keep me from telling what day it was. I nuzzled into the soft pillow, which was now warm from my head being on it for well more than six or seven hours. I breathed in the smells of my home, and the soft trickling scent of smoke.

SMOKE?!

My eyes burst open and I sprung out of bed, just as the smoke alarm blared to life. My hip bumped into my dresser. I cursed but kept running, until I was able to see the kitchen. There was a puff of smoke emitting from the oven, and I could hear Bucky cursing in another language. Aussie sat at the entrance of the kitchen, patiently waiting for something that I was unaware of.

"What are you doing?" I asked amused. I heard a bang, and a curse from the soldier before he rose, a hand upon his head. His hair was in a ponytail, but flour was in the stray strands that hung over his eyes. He had soot all over his face, and upon his hands were oven mitts. It took all of my strength not to laugh, forcing my to purse my lips so that I would not dare to even giggle.

"I- uh- was trying to make –uh" He looked to the cookbook so that he could pronounce the word, "Soufflé." I shook my head.

"Come on top chef, I'll help you clean up." I sluggishly walked over to the kitchen, yawning as my tiredness caught up with me. I took in the full view of my kitchen.

It was covered with the ingredients needed to make the soufflé. The flour was clear as day upon the dark countertops, and some of the egg whites were mixed in with it. Measuring cups lay in the sink, and the egg beater lay unplugged and was covered in the batter, everywhere except the actual metallic mixers.

"Were you making soufflé or a science experiment?" I stifled a laugh, grabbing a tea towel that hung on the oven door.

"Um," He scratched the back of his neck.

"You got a little soot on your face, all over really," I giggled as I began to clean the countertops. He gave me a puzzled look before he swiped two fingers down his cheek, checking to see if I was lying. Seeing that I was indeed telling the truth, he took the towel upon his shoulder and wiped his face furiously, grumbling as he did so. I snorted amused as I continued to clean the countertops.

I took the sponge from the sink and gathered up the flour and egg white mix. Rinsing it out, I returned to a different part of the countertop and scrubbed that clean as well. Bucky took his pan out of the oven and scraped the would-be soufflé into the garbage can. He set the baking pan in the sink and began to clean it off as best he could. I saw that he had not put the bag of flour back, and a sly smile formed upon my lips.

I grabbed a handful of the flour and held it in front of my face.

"Bucky," I called, a devious grin as I almost sang his name. He turned around, unaware of what I was planning. Just as he turned around I blew the flour straight into his face, turning him white as snow. I could not help but laugh as he stared at me unamused, unlike myself.

"Hilarious," he said flatly, unbeknownst to me; a smirk grew on his features. He too grabbed a handful of flour. As I opened my eyes a cloud of white billowed toward me, I flinched, hoping to avoid it but it was to no avail. I too was covered in the substance, on my arms as well as my face. I pouted as I glared at him, but his smile took all the hostilities away and I began to laugh along with him.

Aussie barked happily, seeing that some of the access flour had gotten on his nose as well, causing him to sneeze. I giggled, stooping down to his level so that I could wipe it off. He trotted away from the scene, his nose practically glued to the ground as he exited the kitchen. I rose to my feet, turning to a still amused Bucky, whom was trying to stop his laughter. I shook my head throwing my tea towel in his face, it affectively hitting its mark.

A knock sounded at my door.

"Coming," I called. I walked over to my front entrance, unlocking it and creaking it open.

"What happened to your face?" Natalie asked, utterly confused.

"James tried to make soufflé, didn't turn out too well," I stepped aside, letting my friend in. she sauntered into the apartment, with purse and cat carrier in hand.

Bucky had told me not to tell Nat who he really was, stressing that the less people who knew about him, the better the chance of him not being found. I reluctantly agreed, knowing that I was not forward with lying to people close to me. Nor was I good at it. He argued that it wasn't really a lie since I would call him by his real name, the thought made me feel a little better, but I still was not convinced.

"So my flight leaves in three hours, I thought I would stop by and drop off Milo. Good thing I did too. How's it going Hot stuff?" She raised a brow at the scene in the kitchen, giving Bucky a scandalous look as she spoke his given nickname.

I gently took the cat carrier from her, hear a soft mewl emitting from its interior. Milo had been asleep in his carrier, and seemingly just awoken from his nap. I set his carrier on the glass coffee table and opened the door. He stretched as he mused his was out. Aussie perked up at the sight of the calico and began growing. I gave the Australian shepherd a stern look, effectively silencing him. Milo sauntered about the flat, I took it that he was getting reacquainted with his surroundings and I returned to the kitchen.

"Well it was great seeing you two. Remember, you have the date tonight at eight, he will be here to pick you up," she pointed a finger at me as she exited my apartment, backwards. I gave a thin smile and slammed the door just as she passed the threshold of my dwelling.

I groaned turning around, not wanting to go through with it but still forced to by my friend. I walked over to my couch and face planted right into it, not caring that I was still covered in flour.

"You alright?" Bucky asked, a hint of amusement emitting in his tone.

"NO. I have that stupid date tonight. I don't wanna go!" I complained, my shouts muffled by the cushion.

"Why didn't you just tell her that?" he questioned. I propped myself upon my forearms so that I could give the flat glare that was plastered across my face.

"Because she is stubborn and will bug you until you say yes or you die." I grumbled, causing him to snort.

"It can't be that bad," he shrugged.

"Which part- the date thing or Nat?" I asked, shifting my legs over the side of the sofa.

"The date thing, I agree with you on Nat." He sat on the edge of the coffee table, Milo walked up between us, purring as he rubbed against Bucky's sweatpants. The man let his hand stroke over Milo's back, making the calico purr even more.

"I was never good at dating, hence why Nat has taken it upon herself to become my matchmaker. Even if I did get a boyfriend, it would never last long. I guess I'm not girlfriend material, and I'm fine with that." I got up and went back into the kitchen so that I could finish cleaning up the mess both Bucky and myself made. Bucky eventually joined me and after a good fifteen minutes of silence we finished.

I retreated back to my room so that I could find something to where for my date. I may not have been happy about it, but that did not mean I had to dress like a bum, also known as how I did on an everyday basis. I endlessly searched my closet for something wearable, and I kept turning up empty.

"You have got to be kidding me," I grumbled as I delved into my closet head on, frustration mounting in piles as the clothes were.

"Aha!" I exclaimed, finding a suitable dress for the occasion.

It was beige in color, almost tan when held up against my skin. A dark brown belt lay across its high waistline, and the sleeves were covered in the lace that went across the entire dress itself. I found a pair of leggings that would fit well, and my army green raincoat would be a suitable cover. I set the items on my bed and grabbed a fresh pair of underwear before diving into the bathroom.

"I'm gonna take a shower, just holler if you need anything," I told Bucky as he walked out of his own bedroom. He gave a short nod and I shut myself off from the world by closing the bathroom door. I turned the knobs of water on in my shower, bringing it to life. I stripped of my flour covered pajamas and stepped into the direction the water.

The water skimmed over my fair skin as I rid myself of any dirt or grime. I soaked my head of hair before cleaning it with shampoo and conditioner. I let the suds run down the length of my back, relishing the warmth as they traveled in rivers. I made sure to shave my legs, as well as my armpits, as any girl would on a date. Once finished I turned the water off, having no need of it any longer. I cautiously stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. I dried myself off and put on my fresh pair of underwear.

I struggled to brush my thick knotted hair, muttering a curse here and there when my brush would yank upon a knot that was resistant to being unknotted. After what seemed to be an eternity, I finally managed to get my hair untangled, letting it stick to my neck and towel. I wrung out any leftover water that remained and walked out of the bathroom and back into my own. I threw on a clean pair of sweatpants and a dark tank top before I returned to the kitchen.

Bucky was sitting on the couch, watching the news with Milo in his lap and Aussie asleep on the couch beside him. The man simply stroked Milo with his metal appendage and surfed the TV guide with the other. I stood wide eyed, not because of how adorable the scene looked; but because Aussie was not trying to kill Milo when he was that close to him.

I shook myself out of my gaze and went to the fridge, yanking the door open with a heavy grunt. I grabbed my bottle of Coca-Cola and the other labeled 'Bucky's', I had no idea why he labeled his own drink, whether it was because that we both liked the same brand or he wanted to remember what his name was, in a hope that it would bring back a memory or something. I shut the door with my hip and walked into the living room.

"Here," I handed Bucky his drink, he momentarily paused in his stroking of Milo so he could take the bottle.

"Thanks," he nodded. I gave a short nod and fell into my grey chair, my legs hanging over the arms. It gave me the perfect view of the television and I could easily sip or eat without spilling anything on me.

"So whatchya watching?" I asked as I stared at the television.

"Mythbusters." Bucky said as he took a sip from his own bottle.

"Ooh, which one?" I asked, my interest sparking.

"I think it's the one where they try to walk on water."

"Oh that's a good one," I took a swig of my soda. We both laughed when Adam attempted to walk on water, both times failing miserably. It was fun as we, (mainly me), made witty comments on what was happening on the show that had most likely aired a few years ago. By the time the show ended, it was 7:45. I put my drink back in the fridge and went into my room to get dressed.

I slipped into the dress, the laced fabric fitting like a second skin upon my arms. I pulled my tights on, and added a pair of thick off white socks to go along with my boots. I threw on my green raincoat and made sure that my hair was on the outside of the jacket. All I was missing my red knit scarf, which was in the closet by the kitchen.

I casually strolled out of my room and went directly for my closet opening it I pulled the item out and wrapped it around my neck. I fixed the collar of my green jacket and grabbed my cell phone, shoving it into my pocket. I began searching for my wallet, which had seemingly disappeared all of the sudden. I spotted the small wallet lying atop the glass coffee table. I went to grab the piece of leather, but found that my eyes had found themselves locked with that of my guest.

"Uh-hi," I said lamely. Bucky did not answer, but he made no movement, not even to finish his sip. I made no sign of moving either, and my back began to ache, as did my arm from being outstretched for too long. I quickly grabbed the item I was looking for and placed it my jacket pocket. I kept my gaze centered at the floor, fearing that if I looked up I would find Bucky staring back at me.

"You look… good," I heard him say, almost strained.

"Thanks," I smiled, allowing a blush to creep upon my cheeks.

"So, think you can last a night without me," I smirked challengingly. Bucky smiled at my comment.

"Shouldn't be too hard," He quirked.

"Oh really," I raised a brow. Just as Bucky opened his mouth to speak, a knock sounded at my door. I checked my watch, 8:00. I'm guessing it was my 'date' who awaits on the other side.

Joyous.

I gave my 'roommate' a thin smile before I opened the door. On the other side stood, a fairly tall man in a grey suit. He wore thick wayfarer glasses over his bright green eyes. Freckles dotted his cheeks, which fit perfectly with his curly red hair. His skin was had a little more color than mine, and I was considering that the guy was probably more Irish than I was.

"Are you Sam?" he asked shyly. Nat may have actually found something I could look into for once, shocker.

I blinked, "Uh, yes- I'm Sam. Sorry about that," I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck.

"Oh great, for a second I thought I had the wrong address," He smiled as he spoke, even his teeth were beautiful.

"Nat's pretty vague on the important things isn't she?" I chuckled.

"Yeah she is, so you ready to go or do you need a minute?" he asked.

"Oh, no I'm ready when you are."

"Great just follow me, I know a good Irish pub downtown," He said. I glanced at Bucky as I closed my door, and for some reason; he looked like he was concerned, like when I first met him at the museum. I locked my flat and the two of us casually walked down the steps.

"I'm Freddie by the way, in case I didn't mention it," He smiled.

"Freddie? I was half expecting Shamus or any other Irish name?" I snorted.

"My mom was pretty set on Freddie, and my dad couldn't really say no."

"Well then Freddie, how are we going to get to this pub you speak of?"

"We're taking my car. Then we walk." He opened the front door for me, allowing me to get a full view of his jet black Camaro. I was liking this guy more and more.

"That's your car?" I asked astonished.

"Yes. I saved up for it, I always wanted one." Freddie admitted.

"I always wanted one too." I smiled at him.

"After you," He helped me into the passenger seat.

* * *

The drive to the Pub was a quaint silence, to which we were both awkward and comfortable at the same time. The pub actually wasn't very far from my flat, just a twenty minute walk away tops, if you didn't use the numerous side streets and back alleys. I knew the pub, my uncle Phil often took me there while he was living in DC. He was always concerned at the amount of whiskey I would consume, mainly because I had a test or project due sometime that month. He was a worrywart, then again I was always getting into trouble.

Freddie pulled up to the parking area for Snyder's Pub and Grill and escorted me out of the vehicle. I looped my arm with his and we entered the pub, where we were led to a window booth.

"I'll take the fish and chips," I told the waitress. Handing her the menu she had given us earlier.

"I'll take the salmon," Freddie did the same. The waitress jotted the meals down and gratefully took our menus, leaving us to talk.

"So, what do you do at the Washington Post?" I asked while sipping my whiskey.

"I run the investigator's column, it's basically following the police and detectives everywhere they go" he shrugged.

"So you are basically the conspiracy theorist?" I raised a brow knowingly.

"Pretty much. How long have you known Natalie?"

"I grew up with her. Since childhood really; ever since I defended her against a couple of bullies she has been at my side, or in my hair."

"She has that effect doesn't she?"

"You have no idea. So, what's your latest crime, Mr. CSI?"

"Actually it's not a crime at all. You've heard of HYDRA right?"

"Has Nat told you about my uncle or my brother?" I gazed suspiciously, though only out of fun.

"No, she made no mention of them. Anyway, you know how everyone thought that HYDRA was supposed to be dead and gone around when Captain America froze? Turns out they were a growing part of SHIELD, _SHIELD_. Also they had an assassin, one that has only been myth. They say he's responsible for over two-dozen assassinations over the course of fifty years. My informants say he's called The Winter Soldier."

"Really? What's this got to do with you?" I asked, this was sparking my interest, the whole assassin stuff.

"Well I was hoping that I could track this guy down," Freddie pushed his glasses up.

"You track down an assassin that's most likely a myth?" I looked at him, expecting this all to be a joke. Maybe I jinxed it when I said Nat may have found an actual person not a deluded conspiracy theorist.

"No, not to that severity. I meant find a way to put him behind bars. I want this guy to answer for all the awful things he's done. I want to be able to provide evidence so that the right people can find him and bring him to justice, you know what I mean?"

"Do you even know what this guy looks like? Although I doubt anyone has actually seen this guy." I added.

"My informant said that there is one distinct thing about this Winter Soldier…"

"What's that," I smiled.

"He has a metal arm."

* * *

Those five words. Those fourteen letters. Everything made sense within those 1.3 seconds. Why Bucky had no memory; why he was afraid to go outside; everything. In those 1.3 seconds, my heart stopped for a millisecond.

"Sam? You alright?" Freddie asked, shaking me from my stupor.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked.

"You haven't touched your food for a good two minutes, I was a little worried that's all."

"Oh our food's here? Great, I'm starving," I delved into the fish and chips. I hoped my hankering for fish would cover up Freddie's suspicions.

"So who was that guy in your apartment?"

Guess not.

"He's a friend, he's only staying with me for a bit." I tried to brush off the subject, shoving food into my mouth as I did so.

"Really? Nat told me you met him at the Captain America museum? His name is James, correct?"

"Nat likes to exaggerate, especially when it comeS to me," I lied through my teeth.

"Really?" He looked skeptical. I gnawed on my fork, which probably didn't help me with my situation.

"Sam, is there something you aren't telling me?" Freddie asked.

"This is our first date, there are a lot of things I'm not telling you." I munched on my remaining fries.

"True, but I may not be the one harboring a criminal."

"What makes you say that? I told you James is my friend from college who is staying with me for a few weeks, and what makes you think he's a criminal. Because of the topic we were talking about. I'm sorry but I think it's hard to believe anything related to an assassin shaping our century." I said bluntly.

"I didn't mean-"

"No you did mean to Freddie. Listen you're a nice guy and all, but I think that I should go home, by myself." I stood up setting my napkin beside my plate. I grabbed my coat and left the pub.

It was already dark out, a clear sign that winter was on its way. The winds howled between the buildings, making it even colder than it always was. I zipped my jacket up, as well as tug my scarf closer to my face in an attempt to keep warm. I shoved my hands in my pockets, pulling out my phone dialing my home number.

"Come on, pick up," I groaned aloud. I stood underneath a lone street lamp, it's dull yellow light the only traveling about two feet or so. I kept an eye out for anything that moved, hoping no one would come out and grab me. I felt a wave of uneasiness wash over me. A chill creeped up my spine as a cat reared in the distance. I knew very well that this wasn't exactly the best part of town, and my recent conversation wasn't helping me either.

"Hello." The sound of his voice made me sigh in relief.

"Bucky?" I said, my shakiness seeping into my voice.

"You alright? Where are you?" His voice changed. If I wasn't in the situation I was in, I would be laughing at how overprotective he had become in a millisecond. I looked up at the street sign, "Uhm- Fifteenth and Patrick," I spoke into my cellular device.

"Okay; stay there," he ordered. I furrowed my brows, last time I checked, he didn't have a car. Nor did I.

"Wait how are you going to get here-" I tried asking but he already hung up. I sighed a bit frustrated, shoving the phone in my jacket pocket once more. I let a slow breath out, turning to steam the instant it flew out of my mouth.

The cold was starting to get to me, mostly my legs were practically bare against the swirling winds. I began to bob myself upon my toes, trying to keep myself warm. Clearly my choice of clothing was not suited for this type of weather. My teeth were beginning to chatter, and I began to run my numb arms for warmth. Just how cold was it supposed to get tonight anyway!

A single pair of headlights abruptly turned on in front of me. I raised a hand to shield myself from the blinding light. The vehicle was large, and multiple men dressed in black walked out either side.

"Can I help you?" I asked; a twinge of annoyance evident both on my face and in my voice. The two men in front of me shared a glance as other encircled any escape routes.

In a blur of motion, I was struck to the ground by one of the two. I didn't care to ask because another man dressed in black pinned my arm across my back. I yelped in pain as I felt a pop.

"Where is the Asset?" He spoke in a thick German accent.

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

One of the many men who were all wearing matching uniforms came up and slammed his boot tip into my stomach. I lurched at the attack as he relentlessly slammed his boot over and over. I swear at one point I coughed up blood instead of my dinner.

"I ask again; where is the Asset?" The German man said calmly, though menace was laced in his voice.

"_I say again; I don't know what you are talking about_?" I mimicked his accent; only to receive a blow to the head. My vision became fuzzy as a result of connecting with the concrete. I could feel blood begin trickle from the point of impact.

That was when I heard a sickening sound of a gun being loaded. I felt the cold metal on the back of my head.

I shut my eyes as the gun cocked.

* * *

**Cliff hanger! Sorry but I had to. **

**Again hope you all enjoyed it! Read and review!**

**love you all, **

** Longboard917**

**AKA Katie**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi Everyone! **

**AP Studio Art is whopping my butt right now, so I finally managed to get this up for you guys. **

**I may be posting for my other stories hopefully sometime soon, keyword hopefully. maybe when I submit this stuff for AP I can work on my stories some more. **

**Hope you guys like it**

**Longboard917**

* * *

Chapter 4: _Pillow_

* * *

What happened next felt like life hit the slow motion button.

Just as I heard the trigger begin to click, I was suddenly shoved aside; my body gaining fleeting glimpses of what was going on. A man in a hoodie was pummeling each man, sometimes two by two, as my eyes caught sight of him. The light gave a dingy tint to the man, and I could not tell whether it was Bucky or not. One thing was for sure though, this guy was not to be messed with.

The middle of my back collided with the corner of a nearby dumpster, sending a sharp pain through both sides of my spine. I cringed but refused to make a sound, fearing one of the men would hear me. I managed to get to my feet, albeit it was very flimsy, but I got on two legs nonetheless. At that point I heard screeching tires and the headlights that once blinded me now fled from the once battle scene. I peeked out of the corner of the alleyway and saw only one man- the man in the hoodie- was left standing.

He didn't seem to notice me, he was simply staring out at the roadway where the vehicle was driving off, and its tail lights showed it had no sign of stopping anytime soon. I looked down at myself for a moment, assessing the damage inflicted on my.

My knees were scraped badly, ripping numerous holes in my high socks. I was sure that I had a concussion after I placed my hand on the lump that had now formed. I was definitely never going to wear the dress again, it had been ripped at the hem and the waistline, and I was never good at sewing in the first place. I looked at my worn jacket, which pretty much looked the same, save the few blood stains it had recently acquired. With that I turned my attention back to the Good Samaritan who had rescued my.

"Excuse me," I said rather weakly, though I wasn't planning to. The man in the hoodie simply turned his head, not giving me a good look at his face.

"Uh- hi, um I would like to thank you for saving me back there- since I was kinda about to die for a minute," this was certainly not helping me at all.

Finally the man turned to face me, though keeping his hood upon his face.

"Are you hurt, ma'am," he asked.

"Ma'am, that's what my mother went by- I'm Sam, Sam I am," I addressed him. A small smile crept on the man's face, from what I could tell.

"So what did HYDRA want from you?" He asked, crossing his arms over his hoodied chest.

"HYDRA? I thought they were like WWII history class stuff, you know wiped out by Captain America and his Howling commandos, right?"

"Afraid not, they have been growing within SHIELD for decades," The man said with disappointment.

"So that's why Fury wanted me to lay low," I said aloud.

"Wait how do you know Fury? Who are you?" The man suddenly became intrigued by my comment.

"I told you- I'm Sam, Sam I am. And you haven't been very forward with your name either, Hoodie," I pointed at him accusingly. The man sighed before raising his hand to take his hood off.

"_My name is Steven Rogers, or as everyone else knows me as Captain America."_

* * *

I stood staring at the blonde super soldier like a complete idiot for what seemed to be an entire year.

"If my uncle were alive, he would faint," I stared with mouth agape. Captain Rogers simply chuckled at the statement.

"Believe me it doesn't happen as much as you think it does," He scratched the back of his head.

"One can only wonder why it doesn't."

"Funny, so how do you know Nick Fury again?"

"He's a family friend, kinda like a god parent type thing," I shrugged, the blonde haired man nodded.

"So he raised you?"

"Oh god no- he just took care of me after my uncle died a couple years ago. If that man raised me I wouldn't have needed you're help."

"Fair point."

Suddenly, we heard car tires screech to a halt from behind me, Captain Rogers became alarmed, as did I. The blonde man ushered me behind him and prepared for another round. I looked past him, only to see Mrs. Jensen's car parked poorly, with half of the vehicles tires upon the sidewalk. Both front doors opened wide, Mrs. Jensen emerged from the driver's side and Bucky on the left.

"Sam are you alright? Are you hurt-," Bucky practically sprinted but halted midsentence as he caught sight of the man in front me. He refrained from emerging from the shadows, alarming Steve.

"Hey, James," I waved awkwardly, trying to throw Steve off.

Silence.

"Samantha Coulson you have some explaining to do!" Mrs. Jensen marched over to me, assessing the damage upon my appearance. Steve's head whipped around to look at me with wide eyes, thankfully he said nothing.

"Well, I am very glad that I caught your roommate trying to steal me car, I would have called the cops if he hadn't told me that you was in trouble." I awkwardly pursed my lips as she scolded me.

"You tried to steal Mrs. Jensen's car," I snorted, leaning to look at my 'roommate' n the shadows.

"Come now, let's get you back home dearie," Mrs. Jensen ushered me toward her car. I felt like my knees were about to give out from under me, I could only guess it was the shock that prevented me from noticing it before.

"Here, out the lass in the car will you, please," Mrs. Jensen looked at Bucky. He gave a short nod and I felt his arms snake around my waist. For some odd reason; it was that moment my body decided to shutdown, causing me to flop onto Bucky's chest. Bucky, remaining silent as always, scooped me up into his arms. I felt a feeling of security wash over my senses as he carried me to the dented red vehicle of my 65 year old landlord. He gently set me onto my feet for a moment so he could open the door to the back seat.

"I'm not drunk you know, I could've walked on my own," I told him drearily, a yawn escaping my mouth as I spoke.

"No you couldn't," he said, void of any emotion as he sat me down in the back seat behind his.

"Yes I could."

"Now you sound like you're drunk."

"True, but I'm not."

"Alright you two, lets get you back home, shall we." Mrs. Jensen hopped into the driver's seat. Bucky sat in the front passenger seat as the 65 year old turned the engine over. With that she unceremoniously retreated from her poor parking and drove home. I swear about half way there I was going to puke, and it was not because of the concussion, _but her driving_. That woman needs some updates on laws on driving. Better yet, give her another exam and see just _how horrible_ she would do.

What do you do at a red light? In Mrs. Jensen's opinion there is _no such thing as a red light,_ everything is green.

I am hoping that this woman has gone color-blind in her later years.

* * *

What _should_ have been a twenty minute drive turned into a seven minute drive, I was surprised that we weren't pulled over by any police.

"Alright, we're home sweet home, I'll unlock the door and get you some medical supplies to fix her up," I overheard the one ended conversation with Mrs. Jensen and my roommate. I removed my seatbelt drowsily and attempted to get out of the vehicle myself, only to have a wave of nausea hit me like a brick wall. Thankfully, Bucky caught sight of it and caught me before I hit the ground; once again scooping me up in his arms. I laid my head upon his shoulder as he walked up the front steps sideways so that the doorway would not hurt my legs.

Mrs. Jensen shut the door behind us, making sure to lock it. She then rushed up to _my_ door and used her spare key to unlock it, opening it just as we approached. I was surprised that Bucky was not complaining, nor struggling to carry me, I was not just a twig-like model anyone could pick up on any given day.

"I left the first aid kit on the coffee table over there," Mrs. Jensen pointed out, the worry in her voice seemed to grow as Bucky walked past.

"Thank you," was all he said.

"I'll leave you two be for the night, but I'll be _checking up on you_ in the morning." The elder woman said as she slowly shut the door.

I was set down on the couch before the coffee table, Milo instantly jumped up in my lap. I lazily pet the feline as Bucky pulled out almost all of the kits' contents. I set Milo aside and gingerly bent down to take my boots off, I was met with abdominal pain but I didn't care. I undid the laces and pulled the boots off with relative ease before moving to my socks. I rolled up the hem of the stretchy fabric and began to reveal my battered legs as the white socks came off. As my wrists were outstretched, a large hand suddenly grasped one of them.

I looked up to see Bucky staring at my pale wrists with the look of horror, or murder; I couldn't really tell.

"What happened to you," he asked flatly, and surprisingly calm.

"Uh, I was kinda sort of interrogated_ … forcefully_," I pursed my lips.

"By who?" his eyes darkened.

I mumbled incoherently.

"Who was it Sam?" by the sound in his voice, Bucky's frustration was mounting.

"Promise me you won't freak out," I crossed my arms.

"Why?"

"Just promise me you will not freak out," I repeated, frustration mounting.

"Fine, I promise I won't freak out," Bucky sighed.

"Well, it was uh, it was HYDRA," I shut my eyes.

"What did they want from you?"

"Wait, you're not mad?"

"You told me not to freak out."

"Fair point."

"What did they want from you Sam?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean _you don't know_," he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Well they were talking about an Asset, I honestly had no idea what they were talking about," I shook my head. I looked back at Bucky to see his skin was far too pale for any normal human being. Sweat began to bead down upon his forehead, the grip on my wrist grew tighter, and more painful.

"Bucky are you okay?" I asked, subtly trying to pry out of his iron grip, which was not from his metallic hand. His eyes moving a mile a minute, yet he made no sound or attempt to move.

"Bucky?" I leaned closer, only to have him flinch at my sudden movement.

"I'm fine; just take your socks off okay," he shook himself out of his trance, turning around to the first aid kit. I sat puzzled for a moment before I actually began to strip my socks off of my battered legs. I removed my boots off and discarded my now bloody white socks into the brown boots. I looked over my many flesh wounds that marred my pale skin.

Bucky swiveled around on his knees back to me, a bottle and washcloth in his hands.

"This is going to sting a little," He looked at me whilst applying the liquids within the bottle onto the washcloth.

"Define _a little_," I deadpanned. He handed me a pillow.

"What's this for?"

"So you can scream into it."

I looked at him with caution before I actually took the decorative pillow that I bought but a few days ago at Pier One Imports.

"If I rip this to shreds; you are buying me a new one," I scrunched up into a ball, the pillow between my mouth and my thighs, and my lower legs facing Bucky. The brown haired man looked at me, as if asking for permission. I gave a single nod of the head before he placed the cloth upon my bare, battered leg.

I was met with the most excruciating pain I had felt the whole night. It was a burning sensation that I had never felt, for it was both hot and cold at the same time, but they were painful nonetheless. I was actually glad that Bucky gave me the pillow, because all one could do in the situation was scream at the top of your lungs.

* * *

_Thirty painful minutes later. _

Thirty long minutes that were full of nothing but pure and utter pain, in the most brutal way one could think of; Iodine. I have officially stated that I would rather die than have another drop of iodine on my skin or open wound ever again.

Bucky was now bandaging my legs, and my arms, basically mummifying me even though it was the middle of September. I still had a grip on my decorative pillow, which I was pretty sure if it were an actual person, would be dead.

"Why haven't you freaked out about what happened?" Bucky suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Why haven't you freaked out over what happened tonight?"

"Believe me I'm screaming on the inside," I scoffed.

"Still any normal person-,"

"I'm _not normal_ Bucky. In case you haven't noticed I pretty much only have one friend that I actually talk to, my godfather is a freaking spy, and if I recall I have a piece of history with a bad case of PTSD living in my apartment without no one knowing about it," I snapped, not even in control of what came out of my mouth.

"Thanks for clearing that up for me," He said flatly, finishing up the final bandage. With that said he closed up the first aid kit and set beside the front door. Aussie followed him as if the pooch was a scolded child. Milo was already curled up in the reading chair.

"Bucky, I -,"

_SLAM!_

* * *

He didn't come out for two whole days. He didn't speak to me for an entire week. The only he did do around me was change the bandages on my wrist and legs then go back to sulk in his room. Mrs. Jensen clearly knew something was up, no matter how many times I told her he was simply sick. Thankfully she called my boss, stating what had occurred and that I would get paid leave. That was probably the only good thing that came out of the situation.

I never snapped like that before, not the extent of actually hurting someone. It felt, _wrong._ It felt like there was a part of my body that I had never noticed before, and it just made itself known. I held the pillow closer to my body, hoping it would take the pain I was feeling.

"Dammit Sam, it's not hard to apologize, you've done it before." I said to myself, slowly standing to my feet. My pillow was still against my chest for security purposes, mainly emotional.

I gingerly walked, (and by walked I mean lean against the wall so I wouldn't fall down), over to Bucky's room. As the door became larger and larger, I felt as if I was the one becoming smaller. I raised my hand to knock upon the white door, but I fell short. I barely had it in me to even hit the piece of wood.

"Bucky?" I said aloud, as if the door was the person I wanted to see.

"Bucky, please I know you're in there, apartment isn't that big you know," I said sarcastically.

I sighed.

"Bucky listen, I didn't mean to say those things."

"I doubt that," I heard muffled from behind the door.

"Stop that, you're gonna end up like me if you keep doing that. You are better than that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't have to be like me, all alone and- well- alone mainly. Bucky you are better than that, you are better than practically 98% of the people on this fucking planet, you are the last person who deserves to be around me. I hardly deserve to look at you for Christ's sake."

Suddenly the phone rang. I slowly dragged myself over to where it sat upon its charger and picked the device up.

"Hello?"

"Hey kid," A familiar voice rang through the other end of the phone.

"Fury? I don't wanna know how you got my number?"

"Heard what happened, I thought I told you to lay low?"

"How the hell did you find out?"

"Stark."

"Stark? What is that Game of Thrones?"

"Iron man."

"Oh that Stark. Not much of a difference. Wait how did he know?"

"We need you to come to Avengers Tower, your friend is already there."

"Nat?"

"She was supposed to come back next week, but we changed her schedule, not that she complained."

"She begged to stay didn't she," I pet Milo as he walked along the countertop.

"You could say that."

"Listen, I can't come to New York Fury," I rubbed my forehead.

"Not an option."

"I thought you said everything has an option."

"Not unless I'm telling you."

"Well you aren't my dad, and I have stuff here I gotta take care of first."

"Really, like what?" he deadpanned across the line.

"Well, it's complicated."

"Boyfriend?"

"What, oh hell no, god knows I can barely manage having a boyfriend. It's just, my roommate-,"

"What roommate?"

"I have a roommate Nick, it's what normal people do when they can't pay rent."

"You could pay rent just fine before, and your fees haven't changed; so explain to me how exactly did you come across this roommate of yours."

"Would it appease you if I said it was none of your business?"

"Maybe not me, but the captain may have to have a few words with you."

"Captain?"

Just as fate would have it, a knock sounded at my door. Fury hung up the phone so I went to answer the piece of wood.

I opened the door only to find that my savior from the week before was waiting for me on the other side.

"Hello again." He said sheepishly.

"Uh hi," Aussie walked up from behind me and happily greeted the blonde man.

"So is this your roommate or," He asked openly as he petted the three legged shepherd.

"OH, no I have a roommate, who is here," I allowed the man to come inside.

Just as my door shut another opened, not to my room, or the refrigerator, but Bucky's.

"Will you excuse me for a moment," I feigned a smile as I slowly walked backwards, heading for the room of the piece of history that turned up a month ago.

I ran smack dab into an object. It didn't feel like a door. It was far too _fleshy. _I slowly turned around, praying in my mind it wasn't who I thought it was.

"Bucky?" Steve's voice echoed as I locked eyes with the man in question.

"Steve- I can explain," I turned back around to face the blonde haired man, but and arm protectively wrapped itself around my chest.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" I looked above me to see the look of pure and utter _murder_ in Bucky's eyes. I found then what clicked so long ago.

_He didn't remember him._

* * *

**And the story continues on a cliffhanger, or that I couldn't really think of a better ending. **

**Anyway, Read and Review **

**Sincerely Longboard917 **

**AKA Katie**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello there! **

**I have been working on this one for a while now, I haven't been as committed** ** with my other stories, I apologize for that. But I am working on them** **I will hopefully get some published chapters for them sometime soon! Until then enjoy this one!**

**Also this may be the longest one I have written for this story yet so... hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter 4: Run_

* * *

_Awkward_ was the word of the day.

Scratch that it was the word of the year right now. I had two ninety-five year olds in my apartment, one being a super soldier that was basically frozen in carbonite for seventy years while the other lost an arm and was wiped of his memory. The only good thing out of this was that they were not old and wrinkly frail men.

"Captain Rogers I can explain what's going on," I attempted to pry from Bucky's metallic arm, but to no avail.

"I have been searching the globe for you for who knows how long, and you never left DC?!" Steve pointed at his childhood friend, a look of frustration and anger very evident on his features. I felt Bucky's iron hand tighten upon my shoulder.

"Captain please hear me out- …Wait you knew he was alive?" I asked.

"Long story, now you both need to pack," the blonde man said.

"Wait hang on now both of us are going?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Bucky spoke up defiantly.

"Bucky HYDRA attacked her, at first it was because of her relations to Fury; but now that I see it; they know that you're here. We have to move you both."

"I don't know who you are, and I don't care; I can handle these guys."

"Bucky please listen to me-"

"Get out."

"Bucky!" I turned to him.

"No it's fine Sam," Steve said calmly.

"No it's not, I'm gonna tell Mrs. Jensen that I'll be visiting family in New York for a short while. Hopefully you can look after this place while I'm gone." I looked at Bucky, who had a sad look in his eyes.

"Are you sure? I know this is short notice and all."

"It's fine Captain Rogers, I can take care of myself."

"Alright fine, but you have until tomorrow morning," Steve said sternly before he turned to leave. It was only until he shut the door when the real fireworks started.

"What are you thinking?!" Bucky slammed his hands down on the counter, his metallic hand leaving a crack in the stone.

"What was I thinking? I was thinking that he could help us, or that we could use there help; which by the way they are offering."

"Two minutes ago you said you weren't going, and now you decide to go because a guy shows up!"

"That guy is probably the one person that knows everything about you; and now that he knows you're alive, you can get your memories back."

"So you wanna get rid of me now?"

"I never said that Bucky! I'm in danger here too you know, because I allowed you to stay here. Did I have to? Hell no! But I did, and I didn't even know who the hell you were. I sacrificed my well being; willingly; to help you. And I still want to help you. Why do you think that I want you to consider this?!"

He stared at me with wide eyes, and a face filled with shock.

"If you want to stay here, then fine stay! If you wanna leave; leave! It's up to you, I'm not going to hold your hand for the rest of your life, because you can obviously make your own decisions like a sane person!" With that I turned heel and stormed into my room. I slammed the door as I hard as I could, unleashing my anger upon the piece of wood.

The word of the day was no longer awkward; it's was _undeniable anger_.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I slid down the piece of wood. I curled up on the hard wooden floor and sat as I waited to hear the sound of Bucky's door slam. It seemed like hours upon hours had past by when in fact it was only mere minutes.

_Did I feel guilty? Definitely._

_Was I going to take back what I said. Over my dead body._

A soft knock drew me from my solemn train of thought. I didn't bother to ask who it was, I pretty much knew.

"Sam."

I didn't care to answer.

"Sam." He repeated, this time more desperate than the last.

"Go away." I mumbled, my arm muffling my now raspy voice.

"Open the door."

"I said go away Bucky." I attempted to sound stern.

"No, now open the door."

"Leave me alone."

"Just open the damn door."

In a blur of frustration, my body took over; standing roughly and ripping the door wide open. Bucky stood there, his signature blank look upon his face; equipped with the hazy blue eyes that managed to pierce straight through me.

"What Bucky?" I spat, though not meaning to. I felt tears brimming the corners of my eyes, and I did my very best not to let them loose upon my cheeks. He stood silent, contrary to a few moments ago. Aussie sat by is right, staring at the two of us with his head tilted.

"You wanted me to open the door for some reason what was it?"

He stared at me, puzzled by something unknown to me. I gained control over my emotions and calmed down, yet I found myself still on edge about the man.

* * *

Suddenly his eyes became the size of saucers, and as soon as I noticed he lunged at me. I desperately fought to get him off me, fearing my own safety. It wasn't until I heard the rapid fire of bullets that I knew what was happening.

Aussie somehow managed to get between us, I imagined that Bucky managed to grab him in time for him to not be harmed. We hurtled to the ground in a heaping thud. I covered my ringing ears from the loud gunfire, practically curling up into a ball within Bucky's arms.

"Stay here!" He ushered us under my bed, where thankfully Milo lay unharmed but still rattled by the gunfire. I could barely hear anything over the barrage of bullets creating multiple holes in my walls.

"Wait Where are you going?!" I tried to reach for my roommate; but he evaded my grasp far quicker than I could imagine. He rushed into the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the block before crouching behind the bullet riddled breakfast bar.

I heard glass break from behind me and felt the vibrations of feet falling upon the floor. I shushed Milo and Aussie, hoping, praying that the intruders wouldn't find us. They rushed out of my room and ran straight for Bucky, and he bolted straight for them.

I watched in horror from underneath the bedframe as Bucky relentlessly tore the men to shreds. At one point he was able to snag a pistol from one of the men he was fighting, and what seemed to be some form of subconscious, he mercilessly blew the man's brains out. I covered my mouth to keep myself from screaming. A single pair of boots suddenly blocked my view of the open doorway to my room. Thankfully, they were no facing me. I peaked my head out from underneath the bedframe and saw a man with a large assault rifle, and he was aiming directly for Bucky.

I grabbed the man's ankles and yanked them toward me as hard as I could. The shock of the man's sudden motion caused him to fire his weapon, thankfully only deflecting off of Bucky's metallic arm. The man fell face first, but managed to stop himself from his face actually hitting the wood.

In the midst of the frenzy going on in the other room, the loud gunfire seemed to drown away as tensions in my own  
room rose. The man slowly turned his head to look directly at me with his beady eyes. It was like it was out of a nightmare or horror movie , and this guy looked like he had practiced it enough to make it an art.

But in an instant that moment ended as the man began to lung toward me, with pistol in hand. I screamed and exited the other side of the bed the two four (one being three-legged) legged animals not far behind. I scurried to the corner of my room, doing my best to avoid the broken glass in my bare feet. Aussie growled in front of me, attempting to be a guard dog. The man simply knocked him aside, instantly rendering my pet unconscious.

"AUSSIE!" my vocal chords screeched at their limit, revealing an unearthly scream. I tried to ram the man in the military gear, but I was no match for his military training. His free hand wrapped around my upper arm and threw me into the oncoming wall. I crumpled to the floor as the man's shadow overcame me, and the barrel of his rifle was inches from me.

I grabbed the nearest object I could reach and in one swift motion, knocked the man out with it. It wasn't until he fell to the ground unconscious that I looked at the blunt object in my hand; a now broken lamp. I discarded it and scooped up Milo in one hand and Aussie cradled in the other.

I peaked out the open doorway and found a scene of complete and total carnage.

Bullet holes riddled every wall, as did the blood. Bodies lie scattered all across my apartment, bloody pools surrounding them. Some even lay in piles. I cradled Milo and Aussie closer to my body, in a form to protect them as if they were my children. In a sense I saw the work of nightmares come alive in my room, and I was cradling the few things that made up my best dreams.

I heard movement coming from the kitchen, which startled me. I clutched the animals as I nudged every inch closer to the room in question. Fear brimmed my eyes as the noise grew louder from behind the breakfast bar. I slowly crept up to the edge of the bar and cautiously peaked over. The image I saw was far from disturbing, it was surreal.

Bucky sat crisscrossed on the bloody kitchen floor; his shirt ripped beyond repair. His sweatpants, once fresh out of the washer and dryer, were now blood soaked. The knife that he took from the knife block still held in his hand, but only the handle, for the blade itself had broken off. His brown hair hung from his head, and I was unable to see if there were any sign of blood, or expression on his face.

"Bucky?" I called meekly. The man's head shot up right, his intense eyes gazing straight through my soul. Shivers shot through my spine and I lost the words that I planned to say.

"Are you alright?" He asked, throwing me off guard.

"Are _you _alright?" I asked, setting Milo upon the counter and a now conscious Aussie upon the floor. I stooped down to the man's eye level, wiping the blood from his face. His intense gaze dissipated within seconds as my hand came in contact with his skin. He dropped the blade handle, letting it fall to the tiled floor.

"Did they hurt you?" He said, worry emanating in his tone. He began scanning my arms for any injuries.

"No, no I'm fine. I'm fine. Are you okay?" I asked. Aussie walked up to the brown haired man and nudged him lovingly. Bucky simply pat him on his head.

"I think it's time we take your friend up on his offer," I looked around my apartment, sighing. I felt bad for Mrs. Jensen if she walked in for a 'chat' and saw the scene I see now.

"He's not my friend," Bucky corrected me.

"Believe me, you may not know this yet, but that guy _is your_ friend," I snorted.

"Not convinced."

"Give it some time Bucky, now go change into something that isn't covered in blood," I helped the man to his feet and ushered him into his room. I grabbed two unharmed bags from the hall closet and began packing the remaining articles of clothing that were not ravaged by gunfire. I packed my own bag with the bare essentials and the clothes. I too changed my clothes, slipping into a simple tee and jeans. I strapped on my combat boots and put on my hooded leather coat. Bucky returned with a new set of clothes, including the dark jacket that I first met him in.

"I would put some spare clothes in there if I were you, just in case," I tossed him the black bag. He nodded.

"Here," He approached me, an object in his hand. He took my hand with his metallic one and placed the black object in my own. When he released my hand I looked down to what it was he gave me; a pistol.

"For when I'm not around."

"Bucky, I-,"

"This isn't the books or movies that depict this kind of life. This is real, Sam. These people can and will kill you in an instant. Until we can get to a safe place, we can't trust anyone."

"Alright," I nodded slowly, placing the weapon in the hem of my pants. Ironically the only reason why was because I saw actors do the same thing in the movies. I walked out of my room and grabbed Aussie's leash, clipping on end to his collar. Bucky placed Milo in his jacket as we walked out of my apartment, possibly for the last time.

* * *

"I still don't agree with this," I grumbled in the passenger seat. Bucky had decided that we were not going to walk the streets of Washington, so he took the opportunity to revert to a life of crime.

Basically he picket pocketed five people, stole several food stand items; and ultimately stole a car.

_All within ten minutes_.

"Think of it as borrowing without permission," He said as he drove down the desolate highway.

"Where did you learn to drive?"

"Dunno, just knew I guess," He shrugged.

"Helpful," I muttered.

We drove on as the sun began to set, and I soon found myself drifting in and out of sleep. I lay my head upon the window watching the passing lights as we escaped the capitol. Milo lay curled up in my lap, and Aussie was asleep in the back seat. The desolate high crept on and on into the horizon line, vanishing as it met the evening sky. Or dawn? I really couldn't tell anymore.

"Hey, you alright?" I heard my partner in crime ask.

"Hm? Oh- I'm fine just a little tired," I said groggily.

"Okay."

"So what's the plan?"

"The plan?"

"What's the next step?"

"Dunno thought you knew."

"Well I would say to go to Stark Tower."

"No."

"Why?" I sat up, careful not to awaken Milo.

"We can't trust them."

"What do you mean we can't trust them? They offered us help!"

"And how do you know that it wasn't them who attacked us?"

He had me at a loss for words. I didn't think that it would be possible, and deep down I knew that he was going off the little information and memory he possessed.

"How can you not remember him?"

"Who?"

"Bucky, Steve was your best friend, you two grew up together, you fought together; you two were practically attached at the hip."

He gave me a confused look.

"Okay the last one was a figure of speech, but still; how can you not remember such a large part of your life."

"Like you said before, they wiped my memory.

"Yes they did but you are gaining them back. So at some point you have remembered someone?"

"I never said I didn't."

"So you have seen him!"

"Who are you talking about?"

"Steven Rogers! Captain America! Any of this ringing a bell to you?!"

Suddenly, our car swerved, sending me flying toward the dashboard. Thankfully I was jerked to a halt by my seat belt. The truck began to roll across the road, spreading debris all over the asphalt before it finally came to a screeching halt. Milo and Aussie were oaky, shaken from the ordeal but not physically harmed. I was now upside-down, unable to get the seatbelt off me. I heard the sound of liquid pouring out of the gas tank. I looked next to me to find no one in the driver seat. I heard a painful scream from outside my view, but I _knew_ it was Bucky's.

"Bucky!" I screamed. I tried to remove my seatbelt but it was to no avail. I heard footsteps growing closer and closer. With every step my movements grew frantic to achieve freedom, yet I could not for the life of me remove the seatbelt. Aussie began growling furiously, and Milo began hissing, both in the same direction as the unseen force grew closer.

At last the seatbelt gave way and I fell to the roof of the car. I began crawling to the side of the car facing an open field. The broken glass ripped my flesh some encrusting themselves into the fabric and my open wounds. Milo and Aussie were already ahead of me and out of the wreckage. I finally managed to reach them, but I remained closer to the ground so that if I stood I wouldn't get shot at. I found a roadside ditch and jumped into it, not caring that it was full of rainwater. I took out the pistol from the back of my pants and took off the safety, waiting for inevitable to arrive.

Another car, black with a bent up front bumper lie a few feet away from behind the truck we had borrowed. Men were trying to drag someone into it, and I had a pretty good guess on who.

"Aussie, Milo, stay here," I ordered, although I wasn't sure Milo would listen, being a cat he didn't take orders from anyone. With that I slowly crept alongside the ridge of the ditch and made my way to a good clear view of the men. Bucky was being dragged, and by the looks of his body he was now unconscious.

I took a deep breath to sooth my nerves and aimed my weapon at the man guarding the black vehicle. With one flinch of my finger, I pulled the trigger, sending a bullet flying into and possibly straight through the man's skull. Gunfire burst out, and I plastered myself to the ground. More shots rang out, and cries of pain were heard. I shut my eyes, praying that I would not be found.

Suddenly all of it stopped; there was no more gunfire, no more sounds except that of nature. It was rather peaceful given what had transpired. I however was on a whirlwind of an emotional rollercoaster. This was the second person I had killed within two to three days. If you would count knocking someone unconscious with a lamp 'killing'.

I cautiously stood up to see Bucky and another man standing a few feet apart in a stalemate, each pointing a weapon at one another. For some reason my body took over, and I quickly added another person to the list of people I had killed within two to three days.

_Not before emptying my magazine into him._

As my hypnotic haze withdrew from my eyes, I came to my senses; dropping the gun as if was burning my hands. I called Aussie over, and Milo followed suit. Bucky rushed over to me as I trekked over the roadside ditch and onto the asphalt.

"Are you-,"

"I'm fine, Bucky, just shaken up." I stopped him. I gave him a thin smile, which seemed to appease his worrying. He nodded and wiped a bit of blood from my cheek.

"Well it looks like we have a new ride." He looked at the heavy duty automobile.

"I'm driving this time," I said sternly as I picked up the male calico. Aussie barked as he walked beside me, and Bucky on the other.

"It's getting dark, we may need to find a place to lay low."

"Agreed," I said as I got into the driver seat. I had to adjust the seat before I could even start the SUV, for the last person driving this thing probably was tall as Shaqeal O'Neil. Once again we found ourselves driving off toward the horizon, hoping to find a temporary, _very temporary _home.

* * *

"Thank god!" I exclaimed as I face planted onto the rock hard bed.

In the wee hours of the night we had found a small motel that didn't seem to notice the state of our appearance, or rather that they didn't care for it. It was a very rough and tumble type place, the kind where shady actions occurred and often went unnoticed by officials. I admit, the place was very _sketchy _to say the least; but we would have to make due for the remainder of the night.

I took the first opportunity to take a shower and rid myself of dirt and grime collected today. It wasn't the best shower of my life, but it came pretty close to it. I changed and pretty much threw all of the items of clothing away, save the green jacket I cherished for oh-so long. With that I flopped face first on the bed, and winced in pain from my actions.

I turned on the television and began flipping through the local channels before I came across a recent news bulletin.

"_As the search for the 'Winter Soldier' continues, police have just released that a resident of Washington DC has been kidnapped by the fugitive. If any of you recognize this woman; Samantha Coulson, police advise that you call them immediately_."

Two pictures showed up on the screen next to the news 4 anchor Doreen Gentzler; one of myself; and the other of a man with the same hair length ad Bucky, he wore goggles and a mask that covered almost all of his lower face. The picture itself was very amateur, smoke clouded most of the picture, and it was grainy to say the least. Most likely the picture was enhanced poorly.

At that moment Bucky walked out of the bathroom with a pair of athletic shorts on and a towel around his neck. He stopped cold as his eyes came in contact with the television, and all the color drained from his face.

I looked at him and back at the TV before I quickly turned it off. I stood up from my bed and slowly approached.

"Are you alright?" I asked, 'I've been saying that a lot lately,' I mentally noted.

"Maybe," his voice was strained.

"You're the Winter Soldier aren't you?" His eyes went wide as he looked at me.

"I can explain-,"

"Its fine Bucky, I've kind of pieced it together on my own." I told him. He paused in his rant and mumbled a curse in what I had now come to know as Russian.

"And personally, I wasn't kidnapped; so that's yellow journalism." I shrugged as I pet Milo who lie upon one of two beds. Bucky sighed and a thin line formed on his mouth.

"But seriously, when were you going to tell me?" I asked as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I wasn't."

"Why?"

"It's not a trust thing, it's more of out of sight out of mind," He sat beside me, "And also, I couldn't really trust myself; I barely know who I am now."

"Well the latter will fix itself with time," I nudged him.

"How do you know? How do you know that I will get my memories back? HYDRA took them from me, it's not like I can physically take them back… Can I?"

"I'm afraid not. But that doesn't mean you won't get them back Bucky. It takes patience, and in time, you will get them. The good. The bad. You will get them back, until then you have to do your best now," I said to him and somehow found myself quoting both my brother and my uncle at the same time. _Weird _was putting it lightly.

"Thanks, I think," He raised a brow.

"You're welcome; I never understood all of the crap my uncle used to tell me anyway," I snorted. Just as Aussie began yawning, I did as well, and I soon gave it to Milo, who curled up into a ball against Aussie's belly and the two fell fast asleep on he center of the bed directly behind us.

"Guess those two are starting to get along?" I marveled at the sight.

"Did they get along before?" Bucky asked.

"Oh believe me I had to keep them in separate rooms before, Aussie would try to eat Milo when he was around. It wasn't pretty," I laughed at the memory of myself trying to bandage myself in the aftermath of separating them.

"I guess they are starting to get along aren't they?" Bucky pet Aussie atop his head with his nonmetallic hand. I looked over to the metal arm and found bullet holes in them.

"Do you know how to fix it?" I asked him, taking hold of his metal appendage.

"No."

"Hmm, it doesn't look that hard. It looks likes pretty rudimentary mechanics, should be easy."

"You know how to fix this?"

"My brother was an Air force mechanic and pilot, you could say he taught me some stuff."

"Must be nice."

"What?" I asked as I took a pair of tweezers and stuck a flashlight in my mouth.

"To have a family."

"You had a sister you know." I said as I began pulling out the shrapnel.

"I did?"

"Yeah, I think her name was Rebecca; she was younger than you. That's pretty much all I know, my uncle was more focused on Rogers than anything."

"Huh."

"I would say Rogers was equivalent to your family though. Like I said you two were attached at the hip. When you were captured, he went out and saved your ass."

"Did he? Sounds like he was an idiot," he chuckled.

"Well you were the idiot who went and followed him."

"Yeah and look where that got me."

I smacked him on the back of the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Hopefully; to knock some sense into you?"

"Hilarious."

"How many times were you shot?"

"Dunno."

"That's comforting. Well looks like it doesn't have too much damage; it'll have to hold until I can use something better than tweezers."

"Well I'll be sure to remember that."

"Ha-Ha," I said dryly.

"You should get some rest, we'll be leaving in the morning."

"Okay." I yawned, stretching my upper limbs before I walked over to the empty bed. Within seconds of shutting my eyes I fell asleep.

* * *

_"Sam!" _

_ Fog swirled around me as what looked to be street lamps faded into blackness. I began endless running to try and catch up with the fading lamps, but I felt as if I was running on a treadmill, going nowhere. Fear grew from within my chest, spreading like a disease through me. I heard the sounds of gunfire, and men shouting. Footsteps began to echo my own, except in a different pattern, and they were closing in on me from all sides. My breathing became far more ragged no even though I had felt like I was running a marathon. A bullet rammed itself straight through my right leg, maiming me from running. I searched for a weapon, but found none, not even the pistol Bucky had given me. I tried to stand but putting pressure on the wounded limb was far too intense. _

_Suddenly a hand grasped the back of my head, it felt strangely familiar, but the final straw was that it felt more metallic than human. The extended limb began smashing my head into the concrete below me, intensifying with every blow. I felt the life slowly slip out of me, and I could not bear the shrill scream that echoed from the darkness._

* * *

I awoke in a cold sweat, my chest clawing for breath that suddenly seemed free to my lungs. I endlessly searched my surroundings, finding that there was no fog, no street lamps, but that I was miraculously back in the motel room, and nothing was out of place since I had closed my eyes last. I dared not blink, fearing that I would relive the same pain I experienced in my sub-consciousness.

"Sam?"

I whipped my head to see Bucky awake in the other bed; no longer wearing the black shirt. He was holding himself up by his arms, which revealed his chiseled torso, I noticed that there were pieces of gauze scattered along his sides. I could see the glare from his metallic arm in the moonlight, the mere sight sent awful shivers up my spine.

"Sam."

He tried again, this time moving out from his bed and kneeling onto the floor. It was then I realized that I had fallen out of bed in the midst of my rapid awakening. I also realized I was still panting from my imagined ordeal. My deep blue-grey eyes locked with his crystal ones, and at that moment I felt tears pouring out of my own.

I felt arms wrap around the width of my shoulders, pulling into a warm fleshy chest. My arms slid away from my face and wrapped around my partner in crime's neck. I buried my face in the crook of Bucky's neck, unleashing my sorrow that has been building up for a three day eternity. It took my at least five minutes to start breathing properly again. I slowly pulled away from Bucky to look at him, seeing a sympathetic look upon his features.

"What time is it?" I sniffed, trying my best to sound like what had transpired five minutes ago seem like it had never occurred. Of course, I was terrible in the performance.

He turned to look at the clock upon the nightstand that lie between our beds; "Four-thirty six AM."

"I didn't mean to wake you," I wiped the salty tears from my eyes sloppily.

"I figured that out on my own."

"Nothing gets by you does it?"

"Very funny, but you were the one having an emotional breakdown seconds ago."

"Uh- yesh."

"I don't think that's a word."

"So you're a dictionary now?"

"No. I'm a friend. Now come on." He helped me to my feet and laid me down back in the rock hard bed. I became alarmed when he decided to join me.

"Whoa- what are you doing?"

"Don't worry I'm not gonna do anything. I figured you would feel better if I were with you. I'm gonna stay awake anyway."

"Okay?" I raised a brow, scooting all the way to the other end of the bed, leaving plenty of space between. Yes I may be attracted to the guy, but I wasn't stupid.

I closed my eyes again, but soon found them open and staring at the door to our room.

_This was going to be a long two-hour night._

* * *

**Took me thirteen pages on Word to write this one. One could say I have lost feeling in my fingers right about now. But they will have to do cause they are the only ones I got and they work for you people! **

**I love you all please read and review**

**Longboard917 **

**AKA Katie**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm Baaaack! It's been awhile, luckily I finished my AP studio art with flying colors, just don't know if I can make it through for AP classes next year. I have seen my death on paper, it's official. **

**I got to see Avengers age of Ultron Twice in two weeks! One for opening night and the other last Saturday. I still didn't see it coming. I probably never will as many times as I watch it. **

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

_Chapter 6: Development_

* * *

I don't how on earth I managed to fall asleep but for some reason I managed within to. No nightmares plagued my mind for the remainder of the night. I was calm; I was in a way, gladly unaware the living breathing nightmares that had occurred over the recent forty eight hours. For one of the many moments in my adulthood, I wanted to stay in bed. The bed beneath me stirred, causing me to take another look at my surroundings.

I peaked on eye open, yet what I found was still darkness, almost as if it were a wall blocking me. A very flesh toned wall, which had a metal arm draped over my waist. This wall also had a name. This wall with a name also _received a fist to the face._

"Ow!" Bucky instantly woke up, his free metal appendage nursing his wounded nose.

"Serves you right," I muttered as I got out of bed.

"Remind me what it was that I supposedly deserved?"

"My reflex is to punch people who get to close in the bed."

"That's not true," he said flatly.

"You would know?"

"Yes, I would," he pulled on a skin tight shirt over upper torso. I could not help but stare at the man's chiseled form, he sure did age well for a ninety fie year old. I shook myself from my stare and began to pull out a seemingly fresh pair of clothes. Once collected I changed in the stingy yellow lit bathroom, pulling my frizzled bedhead into a ponytail. Or what looked like a ponytail; I thought it was some sort of alien that was growing on the back of my head.

"Well that looks lovely," I said sarcastically in the mirror. I looked down at my black tank top, seeing myself disheveled and gritty was rather unnerving. Violet bruises marred my pale rosy skin. I lifted up my shirt to reveal my pale stomach, which had been violently scarred by hot glass. It pained to look at it. If this kept up every time that we went out, I may need an iron man suit just to go outside. Or I need to be made of Vibranium.

"Should have told me," Bucky's voice, and body appeared in the doorway. I threw my shirt down over my torso immediately.

"It's nothing, just a scratch."

"I call bullshit."

"Since when did you get a potty mouth?"

"Since I heard you bang into everything when you went to get something in the middle of the night."

"Very funny."

"It was actually. You should have told me you were hurt you know," He handed me my jacket. Aussie trotted over and nudged my leg. I patted his head affectionately, causing him to mewl.

"Yeah, I was busy."

"Right." He said flatly.

"So have you thought of a plan yet?"

"I know of safe house, it's just outside New York City."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I used it when I-,"

"You don't have to tell me, Bucky."

"Right."

"So we go there; and then what?"

"Lay low until we think of a plan."

"I'm guessing that is all I'm getting from you."

"Pretty much, now pack up your stuff."

"Right."

I exited the bathroom, careful not to run into Bucky, which was difficult being that he took up half of the doorway. I collected my items, picked up Milo and carried him to the pickup truck. Aussie followed me close behind and jumped in the car as soon as I stepped away from the back door. I shut it and returned to the room. Bucky had his own backpack in hand and was checking the magazine of his pistol that he swiped from the attack on my apartment.

"You ready Rambo?" I made a sarcastic quip.

"What?"

"Never-mind, wait out of my movie collection you didn't touch Rambo?"

"Again, what?"

"Forget it," I shook my head yet I was still smiling. The two of us walked out of the room, and I felt Bucky's non-metallic drape over my shoulders. I looked up at him with a confused look.

"Cameras, it'll make us look inconspicuous," he whispered to me. I inadvertently shivered at the breath that caressed my cheek, not to mention how his voice sounded against my ear. Bucky, probably thinking that I was cold; pulled me closer to his stone body.

'_Not helping!_' I was screaming internally. And it wasn't like I could get out of this, he was far too strong for me so what was the point? We got in the truck and drove down the road, which would somehow lead us to the secret safe house destination.

* * *

We drove down the highway for about three hours along I-95 before we finally arrived in the state of New York. Because we left at around six in the morning we arrived in the city at nine thirty. We were in bumper to bumper traffic for about the rest of the day. I noticed Stark, or rather Avengers tower as we passed through the city. I made a mental note to try and see if I could find anything more about that, hoping we could find people we can actually trust, because apparently we couldn't trust anyone. It was sundown when we left the outskirts of the city, and began driving into a wooded area. You could very much see and hear the hustle and bustle of the city that never sleeps. Just as my eyes began to droop into sleep our vehicle stopped.

"Hey, we're here," Bucky gently shook me from my daze. I nodded in response, unbuckling my seatbelt and grabbing Milo. I got out of the truck and found myself in front of a small cabin in the dark dense woods. It was as if it was out of a storybook.

"This is it?" he ignored me as he searched the place.

"It's clear, come on," He walked out onto the porch. Aussie trotted with his three legs up the steps and happily hopped onto the sofa, instantly falling asleep. It was a cozy cabin, only a sofa lay in front of the fireplace, which was dark from not being I use. There was a small kitchen, and by small kitchen I mean a fridge, a sink, and about five cabinets. A slender set of steps led upstairs to the solitary bed, which had a small dresser of male clothing. Adjoined to it was a small bathroom, enough for the both of us to sustain.

"You lived here?"

"Let's just say it's fuzzy."

"Good answer." I set milo down who scurried to the mantle and curled up into a ball.

"Here, we can patch those wounds up." He set a first aid kit, or packaging crate on the coffee table with a thud. As I approached the sofa, he started a small fire, and just in time because a thunderstorm had begun as we arrived at the house.

"Take off your shirt."

"Whoa what?"

"Take off your shirt."

"Yeah I got that- why?"

"So I can bandage you up."

"I don't see how that a good reason."

"You want me to take off your shirt?"

"No! I'll do it," I stripped of my jacket and my black tank top, revealing the full extent of my injuries. Burns racked the front of my stomach, and poorly placed gauze (Which was my handiwork) over the more severely injured areas of my torso, leaving my sports bra the only actual piece of clothing on my top half.

"You should of asked my for help." Bucky sighed.

"Would it be a good excuse to say I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself?"

"Given from what I see now; not a chance."

"Figured. OW!" he placed a cold sterilizer upon my flesh.

"By the way it's gonna sting."

"Thanks for the warning. Ah- shit."

"You wanna a pillow?" he didn't bother to look at me as he asked.

"No. Ouch!"

"You sure?"

"No."

"You wanna lay on my lap or something?"

"Why?"

"For one, it'll help me with sterilizing you, and you can try and get some shut eye."

"Why the hell not?"

I sifted my body to where I lay my head upon his thighs. The flickering orange firelight allowed a mirrored imaged upon his metal appendage, giving me an opportunity to distract myself from the pain. His sweatpants were comfortable to rest upon, and I wasn't complaining about the view, but I was cursing at myself for not doing so.

Despite the numbing pain, my eyes were starting to get heavy, and I found myself yawning.

"Almost done, just need to change your bandages." He shifted his torso so that he could reach the bandage roll without disturbing me.

I felt cool flesh and freezing cold metal fingers cause my skin to form goose-bumps. The glazed over the width of my waist, rolling out the bandage within millimeters of his fingertips. It was rather soothing as I concentrated on the fingertips that draped over my skin. That was until I felt my lungs being squeezed together.

"Ah!" I shot up seething through my teeth, but it only caused more pain. My arms flew to cover my bandaged stomach, hoping to null the pain. I felt ice cold metal fingers underneath my own, and fleshy ones under my other set. I peeked over my shoulder to see the concerned face of my partner in crime for the past four days, his hands instinctively placed at my sides.

"Is it too tight?" He asked.

"No…"

He gave me a look.

"A little," I grimaced. He nodded and proceeded to loosen the bandages a little before continuing in wrapping them around me, though this time he requested that I sit upright for the remainder of the time.

"So..," I said openly as I stared at the fire place. Small droplets of rain were falling into the blazing fire, causing steam and sizzling to occur upon the burning logs.

"So what?" Bucky gently strapped the bandage together.

"Nothing, thought I could start up a conversation," I sighed, running a hand through my matted messy hair.

"You take the bed, I'll take the couch," He collected the strewn items of the first aid kit and placed the miniature ambulance back where he found it.

"You don't have to."

"I know. You're injured more than I thought, so try not to sleep on your stomach okay?"

I sighed, arguing would get me nowhere. I agreed with a simply nod of my head. I gathered my stripped clothing and backpack and carefully walked up the wooden steps. The bed was much larger than it looked to be from below. It still looked comfortable, and by god it was like laying upon a cloud. I changed into my pajamas, which was really just a pair of shorts and a different tank. I flopped onto the fluffy bed and instantly fell asleep.

Thunder crashed in the skies, jolting me into an upright position. Pain shot through my injured area, but it was not as bad as it was earlier, it still hurt though. Sweat covered my body, my chest clawed for air. Just as I became calm, cannon fire burst in the skies once more. I jumped, but didn't screech, however I heard a gasp for breath from below.

I got up out of bed and peeked over the rail of my lofted bed. Bucky was sitting seemingly upright upon the sofa, his right leg hanging off the side of the couch. His back was facing me, but I could pretty much guess the expression of his face, the one I had two seconds ago.

I crept deftly down the wooden steps, my bare feet not making as much as a creak. I cautiously tip toed toward the man, fearing I may get thrown across the room.

"Bucky," I asked openly, my one hand extended to the back of the couch. His head whipped around with such speed I was afraid that I was going to get whiplash. His eyes were dark, and were filled with what looked to be hate, but in a millisecond the hate vanished and were replaced with the usual inexpression I knew.

"I'm sorry," he ran his metallic hand through his disheveled head.

"You didn't hurt anyone you're fine." I notified him, moving over to the fireplace to pick at the dying flames. I heard him sigh in relief behind me.

"Why are you up?" he asked.

"Can't sleep."

"Sam, I shouldn't have dragged you into this."

"We've been through this before; I knew the risks, I didn't care, I can take care of myself."

"The last part I may disagree with."

"Agree to disagree."

"Touché." He sat down beside me, his eyes keenly set on the small dancing flames.

"Okay, since we probably aren't going to go back to sleep anytime soon, what do you wanna do?"  
"Dunno."

"Gee you're just full of ideas."

"Hilarious."

"Alright lemme ask you a question, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"What?"

"What memories have you gotten back?"

His eyes widened slightly at my question, causing his smile to drop from his stubbly jaw. He looked at me in with the full expression of slight shock, before he went back to staring at the flickering flames.

"Again you don't have to answer, I just thought that-."

"A skinny man."

"A- what?"

"A skinny blonde man, the one that was featured at that museum. I remember a lot of him. I remember what I think is my sister. I remember the wars the most. What I did to people." His eyes were downcast, shame filled his blue irises.

"Bucky." I grabbed his chin and made him look at me.

"You may think you have done that, but that is what _HYDRA_ made you do. They _wiped your memory_, they took away your past life. They made you think that you were a monster, when in fact _they_ were the _monsters_ dressed as men. So if you _think_ for one second that you are a bad person, I will _personally_ knock some sense into you with a cast iron frying pan."

He looked at me, his eyes endlessly scanning my face; with my blue eyes staring straight back at him in return. Silence fell over, neither of us bothered to speak. The silence was a comfort to us both, giving us a sense of continuity, or at least me anyway.

Milo mewled as he stretch atop the wooden mantle before hopping down to the floor. The cat sauntered over and purred under my bent knees, I stroked the calico as it decided to lay upon my lap, forcing me to shift my position to fit his needs. I lay my head on Bucky's shoulder as his face turned back to the dancing flames, I noticed that his cheeks were a slightly different color than before, but that could have been the heat of the fire so I didn't pay any heed to it. My gaze drew to the dancing orange light, and I became almost hypnotized by their fancy footwork. The thunder clashed again, and the rain pelted the windows, but it didn't bother us, it almost seemed mute to our ears. I felt warmth drape over my back, I looked over to see that Bucky took the blanket from the couch and draped half of it, (or two thirds considering how small I am compared to him), and the other half over me. The blanket was soft and warm, given from the fact he's had it wrapped around him for the past four hours.

* * *

I awoke the next morning upon the couch, Milo curled up on my stomach, over a warm blanket. I caught the scent of warm sizzling pancake batter upon a frying pan. I propped myself on my elbows to look over the couch, finding that Bucky was cooking the pancakes, and they thankfully weren't on fire.

"Finally learn to cook?" I smirked, hoping to startle the man. I was unable to because he simply looked over his shoulder at me.

"Maybe."

"Oh, they grow up so fast," I feigned sorrow.

"Hilarious, your pancakes are getting cold."

I wrapped the blanket around me and traveled to the barstool where my plateful of pancakes sat. I delved into the fluffy cooked batter, savoring the flavor of every bite.

"This is a lot better than the soufflé." I said with mouthfuls of pancakes.

"Glad you like it." He smiled as he set his own plate down, allowing Aussie to have a pancake of his own.

"So what are we going to do today?" I asked him.

"Training."

"Training? Anything specific?"

"Self-defense."

"Oh, yay."

"It's not that bad."

"Says you." I grumbled, stuffing the delicious food in my mouth.

* * *

"I don't see how this is fun," I said between breaths. Sweat glistened over my body, hair stuck to the back of my neck, and I found myself having to hold my upper half up on my knees. Bucky on the other hand looked fresh as a daisy.

_We had been at this for god knows how long. _

It was not fair in the least.

"Again." He commanded. Let's just say my stubbornness hasn't been agreeing with him at the moment, but I was able to keep that part in check.

"If I do this again, I may lose feelings in my arms," I said heavily as I stood up straight. He chuckled at my statement, but held firm.

"This is basic stuff." He crossed his arms over his bare chest.

"For you, not someone who hasn't been to the gym since high school."

"That's exaggerating it a bit don't you think?"

"It's to prove a point."

"Not doing very well; again."

I groaned, but I approached anyway. I held my balled fists up in a defense position, and Bucky held up his hands, which were covered in multiple oven mittens.

"Left right left." He said sternly, and my fists obeyed, punching each oven mitten as he commanded.

"Right. Right. Left."

"Faster!" I sped up my pace.

"Right. Dodge. Right uppercut."

We continued this routine for another hour.

I fell to the grass in a heaping sweaty thud. My tank top clung to my skin, and sweat stain formed on my back and under my armpits. Small strands of hair stuck to my forehead. I shielded my eyes from the blinding sun. A shadow cast over me, allowing my eyes to adjust to the figure that towered over me.

"You did pretty well." Bucky said with a sly smile.

"Liar," I said breathlessly. He outstretched his metallic hand, which was free of the multiple oven mittens. I took it, instantly receiving goose bumps from the cold. He easily lifted me to my feet, making sure I was steady enough to walk on my own. I hope he knows that I will somehow get him back for this.

"I'd say that I' done for the day," I flopped face first on the couch.

"Usually one would take a shower first before they do that." I heard Bucky say.

"I can barely breathe, you think I am gonna be able to take a shower?"

"Well when your face first in a couch, it gets a little hard to breathe."

I lifted myself up with my palms, enough to give him a flat stare.

"I am seriously starting to rub off on you." I concluded.

Bucky gave a short nod of the head as he sipped his drink.

"You can have the shower first." I said to him. I heard his glass set upon the counter as I turned to face the empty fireplace.

Just as my eyes closed, something hauled me up. I looked over (or under) my shoulder to see Bucky carrying me like I was a burlap sack.

"Bucky put me down!" I tried to sound authoritative, but laughter coated my words. Aussie happily trotted behind me, while Milo simply ignored us entirely.

"Nope," he said as he easily scaled the steps.

"Put me down dammit!"

"_Я не говорю на вашем языке_."

"Don't pull the Russian crap on me mister, now put me down!" I will admit though, he sounded very intriguing in Russian.

I knew we were headed for the bathroom, because upstairs was the only one with a shower. He shut the door with his foot.

"_Лучше готовьтесь ; он собирается получить действительно холодно._"

"No, no, no! Don't you do it! AH!" Freezing cold water shot at my exposed legs, causing me to squeal. I heard Bucky's laughter as he set me down in the shower. The ice cold water hit almost every inch of the back side of my body, which was not fun at all. Bucky's arms wrapped around the small of my waist, which brought me closer to the water stream, and his bare, cold, and very wet chest. I smiled at him while the icy waters poured over my face.

"Что это такое, что вы делаете для меня?" he said with a small smile.

"Okay, you either tell me what you are saying, or you have to teach me Russian." I said happily.

"What is it that you do to me?" he said fondly.

"You are speaking English right?"

"No matter how hard I try to remember, all I see is you." He said, his right hand cupping the side of my face.

_I guarantee he had no idea how romantic he was at this moment. _

"Bucky, I-," I was at a loss for words, and I looked at him with mouth agape, (Which probably wasn't a good idea because we were still under a running shower dressed in sweaty not soaking wet workout clothes).

"Is that a bad thing?"

"You are literally asking the worst person." I smiled.

"So what do I do?"

_Romantic moment… ruined. Well done sergeant. Still adorable._

I brought my arms up to wrap around his neck, and as the pouring artificial rain fell, (but still artic cold) I brought my lips to his. At first he didn't seem to even know what I was doing, but gradually I felt him respond to my actions, thankfully in the best way.

_He was kissing me back. _

* * *

**Believe me, I enjoyed this as much as you all did. can't wait to start on my next Chapter. Hopefully it will feature a speedster. Or a bird. Or more pancakes, I seem to have a thing for pancakes. **

**Love you all **

**Longboard917**


	7. Chapter 7

**How's everyone's summer! Been pretty good for me so far, although I have yet to see ANT MAN. Don't get me wrong I have seen the end credit scene over and OVER again. But I really want to see the movie itself, which I have yet to do this summer. **

**Nonetheless I will see it and enjoy it, and write about it here, just gotta watch this countdown clock. I also have to wait for my Stargate Atlantis box set cause I love me some JASON MOMOA. If you don't know who Ronon Dex is, you should be ashamed and look him up. **

**Obviously after you read this chapter of course. **

**Longboard917**

* * *

Chapter 7: Evasive

* * *

Our mouths melded together in bliss. His body pressed against my own, arms wrapped sturdily around the small of my waist. The water from the showerhead was still pouring down on us but I didn't care to notice, in fact, I didn't want the moment to ever end.

I felt two hands delve under my thighs, lifting me up. As if it were natural to me, I crossed my legs, engulfing the width of his waist, effectively holding me up. All the while our mouths never parted, and my lungs needed to breath.

I pulled away, albeit I didn't want to, but oxygen was necessary if I wanted any of this continue.

"You alright?" Bucky asked, visibly concerned.

"Great," I smiled at him. He adjusted his grip upon my under thighs and stepped out of the shower. He held me with his metallic arm, and the other turned off the shower head. He carried straight back to the lone bedroom.

* * *

I awoke that morning with an arm draped over my waist. Not that I minded the wall of flesh in front of me, I actually enjoyed the shade from the morning sun. I snuggled closer to the wall of flesh, which was emitting amazing warmth. I peaked my eyes open to see that my personal heating pad was still asleep, a content smile upon his bearded features. His head lie upon his metallic arm, providing him with a cool pillow. Strands of hair hung above his eyes, giving a child like expression to his bearded face. I removed a stray strand of hair from his face, clearing his gorgeousness.

_Of course I would never say that to him out loud_.

He shifted in his sleep, moaning like a child. I smiled at the thought of his childish demeanor. His body snuggled against mine, which I thought was impossible at this point.

I slipped out from under his arm and out of the bed, careful not to wake my sleeping partner. I picked up one of the strewn shirts that lie upon the floor, quickly discovering that it was not mine as soon as it covered my lower thighs. Nonetheless I traveled into the bathroom, instantly flinching at the bright lights flicked on. The first thing I noticed was that there were hickeys scattering my collarbone. I also noticed that the shirt was dangling off of my shoulders. My hair was strewn about in directions I didn't know it could travel in.

Once I gathered my hair into something managable, I gathered a fresh set of clothing and went down stairs, careful not to wake Bucky. I hadn't realized that; one It was well into the afternoon, and two; that we left the television on all night.

'Detectives are still baffled by the disappearance and alleged kidnapping of Samantha Jane Coulson, who was supposedly taken captive by the Winter Soldier.'

I looked at the screen finding that my face was now alongside a blurry picture of a masked man, which I could only assume was the man i had just slept with. If reporters were here they would probably say I have Stockholm syndrome or something. But the reporter also made me realise something else, if the police were looking for us, HYDRA was still out there as well.

In my mind I knew that we weren't going to be able to hold out for long, especially if we kept living like this. Even if he didn't like it, we were in need of help. And I noticed one place where we could get it. I also knew that one place was where he would never allow me to go, not while he was awake at least. With that settled, I grabbed the keys to the SUV, Milo, and went out the door. Of course I was sure to wake the metal armed man.

_'He'll get over it_,' I thought to myself as I put Milo in the passenger seat of the SUV. I hopped into the driver seat and started the vehicle. I then proceeded to drive all the ay back to the metropolitan city/other worldly realm of Manhattan.

* * *

I parked in a secluded lot, and proceeded to carry Milo the rest of the way. I pretty much knew where I was going, just had to find the large building that had and 'A' on it and looked like a llama. Soon enough, I found the place. I placed Milo within the comforts of my jacket and walked into the building.

As soon as I did the _walls began talking_.

_'Miss Coulson, Mr. Stark has been expecting you, if you take the nearest elevator I will guide you from there_,' a posh British voice emitted from air. I decided that I wasn't going to argue with who ever was talking and took the nearest (and most secluded) elevator.

As the doors closed, I stared at the fizzled reflection of myself, trying to calm my nerves. The top button on the panel had already been pressed and the elevator was moving fast to the destined level. One that was label penthouse.

'I trust that Mr. Barnes is well?' The voice asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yes he is, but I don't think he'll be happy if he finds out about this." I said with a smile.

'I have already alerted Mr. Stark and Captain rogers to your arrival. I also taken the liberty to alert your friend Ms. Caldwell as well, I believe she is rather pressed to see you.'

"I wouldn't doubt it, uh- I'm sorry but do you have a name?" I asked whilst cradling Milo.

'I am called Jarvis, Madam,' The voice said calmly. I nodded my head as the elevator came to a slow halt. the doors slid open and I was met with Nat's exasperated bed-headed look.

"Who'd _you_ sleep with?" I raised a brow teasingly.

"_THAT'S_ THE FIRST THING YOU ARE GOING TO SAY TO ME! DO YOU HAVE _ANY_ IDEA THE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS I'VE BEEN IN RIGHT NOW? YOU HAD ME _WORRIED_ SICK YOU ASSHOLE!" If I could plug my ears, I would have, but because of her calico in my arms I was forced to suffer.

"I see you kept your personality." I drawled flatly. I handed her Milo and walked out of the elevator, viewing the immense penthouse suit atop the Llama building.

"Seriously, why didn't you call? We could have picked you up anytime. And do you care to tell me _why_ you lied to me about your 'roommate' because there _better_ be a good reason for it," She cradled her precious cat as the two of us walked around the high tech penthouse palace.

The place was very sleek in design, many variants of grey were in the color scheme. Also almost half of the place was all windows. I wouldn't be surprised if Thor accidentally threw his hammer out one of them. There was an upper level, which looked to be a lab, or workshop of some sort. Probably for Tony and the other science people he had working for him.

"Sam? Why didn't you call?" Nat brought me back down rom my trance.

"My phone was obliterated, and I couldn't find a payphone." I said, a thin line forming on my lips. Nat gave me a flat look, but thankfully decided to let it go.

"Samantha, good to see your alright." Captain Rogers walked from around the corner, dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a white tee. A very _fitted_ white tee.

"Good to see you too Captain." I shook his outstretched hand.

"Please, call me Steve." he insisted.

"Steve." I nodded.

"I'll take Milo to my room," Nat decided to make herself scarce, taking Milo with her.

_'Thanks for the support Nat_,' I mentally grimaced.

"Please sit," he motioned to the recreational area. I sat across from him on a very expensive couch. the only thing between us was a glass coffee table, which was littered with playing cards, snacks, even _Thor's_ hammer. I kept my hand under my legs, proving that my nerves were very evident.

"I know what happened to your apartment, Tony is already making sure its being restored to its original state." Steve said, albeit it was good news, but it wasn't exactly what I was expecting to here.

"Thank you, but I doubt I'll need to live there anytime soon."

"That, we're aware of, so we have a rom here if you wanna stay here, we also have one set up for Bucky." Steve offered.

"I don't exactly think I'm ready to move in just yet, nor does Bucky."

"You two didn't split up?" Steve asked, his intersect perking exponentially.

"Yes."

"We thought that he was taken by HYDRA," Steve breathed.

"Well we've been under the radar," I said, though even I wasn't sure if we were or not. I was still reeling that I was in Avengers tower.

"How is he?"

"He's fine, well as fine as he can get." I shrugged. Steve eyed me suspiciously.

"He doesn't know your here, does he?" the question sounded more like a statement than intended.

I nodded my head as if I were a child caught misbehaving.

"He doesn't trust you, or anyone for that matter. He thought that you called the attack on my apartment," I explained, pursing my lips.

"I can see where he made the assumption."

"I tried to convince him."

"He's stubborn as a bull."

"I noticed."

Steve laughed at my comment, easing my nerves momentarily.

"I should probably be getting back, I don't want him to realize I've been gone too long."

"Right, well if you need anything use this," he handed me a business card, on that advertised a massage spa. "It's voice activated so if you need help, just say Jarvis."

"So this isn't to promote you massage business," I raised an eyebrow.

"It was Stark's idea." he dropped his head in embarrassment.

"I'll take your word for it." I said dryly.

"Well it as nice seeing you," Steve escorted me to the elevator.

"You as well, Steve. Oh, and take care of Nat will you?"

"Promise."

I watched as the elevator doors close in front of me and I was soon back at the ground floor of the building.

"Do be careful on your way home Ms. Coulson." Jarvis said as I approached the doors.

"I will Jarvis," I assured the auto-butler as I exited the large llama (building).

I chastely walked back to the lot where the SUV was parked, I drove back to toward the safe house, making sure to stop for groceries on my way back. I bought a lot of snacks with my remaining money, and to try and make it look like I was there the entire time. With that done I drove back to the safe house with little delay.

I parked the SUV in the barn and attempted to load my arms up with the grocery bags. As I did I heard the screen door to the safe house open.

"Where've you been?" I heard Bucky ask casually.

"Grocery store, wanna help me?" I gesture to the trunk full of bags.

"What did you buy the whole store?" He stared at the large amount.

"I assume we can stock up, and I wanted snack for any more unplanned road trips."

"Good plan."

I placed the bags on the counter and instantly began unpacking them. Placing the items in either the pantry or the fridge. I bought a tennis ball for Aussie to play with, immediately throwing it to his joy.

Whilst placing the last item in the top cupboard, I felt a pair of arms wrap around the width of my waist. At the same time I felt a pair of lips and stubble suckle the exposed skin of my neck.

"I missed you," Becky said, resting his nose upon my skin.

"Was I gone that long?"

"It felt like it."

"I couldn't bring myself to wake you, you were too cute."

"Cute?"

"Am I killing your ego?"

"Я убийца; Я не трахал милый."

"I may not know Russian, but I'm pretty sure there was some language".

He smiled at my comment, pulling me closer to his body.

"Thanks for the note."

"I didn't want you to worry." I said to him.

"Well next time tell me, please," his placed his mouth upon my shoulder.

"I will." I smiled, laying my hand atop his.

"I can't find Milo," Bucky said abruptly.

"He hasn't been with me if that's what your asking," I said, masking my nerves with sarcasm.

"I'm aware," he drawled.

"So what's on the to do list?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Telling me the truth for one." His arms withdrew from my waist.

"Come again?" I turned around to look at him, praying that my acting would fool him.

"You're hiding something?" He stated.

"Yes, I was hiding you from HYDRA, but now I'm hiding you, myself, and two animals; it's much trickier."

"Don't toy with me Sam."

"I'm not-"

"HYDRA kept things from me for seventy years, Sam, I don't want you to do the same."

_'God, heart; how I hate you_,' I internally groaned.

"Okay fine, I went to see a friend."

"Who."

"Nat. I took Milo and gave him back to her."

"And you did this because?"

"I felt I needed to. I knew she was somewhere safe."

"Where was that exactly?"

"Stark tower." I gnawed the inside of my mouth. I watched as Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"I can explain, Bucky-"

"Please do." He scoffed.

"I thought that we may need help at some point. I know very well that you won't be there all the time to save me, I also know I won't become an assassin anytime soon."

"But how do you know they won't betray us, we can't-"

"What? Trust anyone? Bucky if we keep doing this we _will_ die. I, for one want to live. So we are going to have to take that chance. Don't forget that there are more people out there like me, who are selfless and are willing to help. I know there are a group of them that were the tower I just visited today."

His gaze softened as I spoke, allowing himself to calm for a moment.

"Sam I don't want to lose you," he confessed.

I stood there for a moment, flabbergasted by his statement.

_'Of course he says this after we had sex,'_ I said internally.

I walked up to the assassin before me, looking up at his downcast face (_because i'm short unfortunately_).

"Trust me okay, I know what I'm doing." I said to him, stroking my thumb across his cheek. He took hold of my hand with his metallic one, leaning into my touch.

"Okay," he caved in. I smiled at him. I wrapped my arms around the man, resting my head upon his chest. I felt his arms wrap around my body, and his lips pecking the top of my head.

"Next time tell me, please."

"I promise."

"And I'm not cute."

"No your adorable."

"Черт побери."

* * *

**SO I hope you guys like this, I will be posting sometime soon. I hope anyway.**

**Again sorry I posted this at 1:00 AM**

**Love you all,**

Longboard917.."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello everybody! **

**So I wanted to give this to you all before my school starts on MONDAY! I hope you all enjoy! **

**Please note, there is vulgar language and scenes. Also the italics are not only her thinking, but they double as a com-link in some parts, just so you don't get confuzzled.**

**Love you all **

**Longboard917 **

* * *

Chapter 8: Recluse

* * *

_ "Bucky!" I reached for the man, but darkness in the form of hands covered my eyes and mouth; lifting me off of the ground. _

I jolted out of my sleep, covered in a cold sweat, and heaving for oxygen. However as I did so, I spurted into a coughing fit.

I was no longer in the comfort of a warm bed, let alone a house. I was in a cell. A cold dark cell, no windows to show what day it was. I was cold to the bone. My once pale skin suffered yet another interrogation session but days before, showcasing its kindergarten colored bruises. Black. Blue. Purple. Yellow. I was practically waiting for orange polkadots. I shivered against the concrete walls between each session. I didn't want to eat anything, and they barely fed me to begin with. I felt like I was collapsing in on myself, but it was more emotional than physical.

_Bucky was gone. _

_ Aussie was gone._

Everything I loved was stripped from me. I was distraught to say the least.

I heard the screeching of the metal door open. I curled up into a ball in the corner as I watched two men walk into my 'domain'. I noticed a figure behind them, but I could not tell who, for he refused to show himself as the door shut. There were two things I noticed as he shut the door. One was that one of the men was holding a crowbar, and the other was a rope of iron chains. Two, they didn't look happy to see me.

"Where is the Asset?"

_'So Bucky was alive._' I smiled to myself.

The man yanked me up to my feet, wrapping my wrists together with the chain. I was strung up to where I could barely touch ground, the tips of my shoes scraping the concrete floor. Strands of hair hung in front of my eyes, yet I was able to see the three men. The two men proceeded to take turns interrogating me with the crowbar, for an _entire_ hour.

"Enough." The man in the shadows spoke up.

The current man with the crowbar stood aside to reveal the man in the shadows. He wore black all over, even his face was covered in a skin tights mask. There was white pain on both the mask and the outfit forming an X across his chest. His gauntlets were abnormally large compared to the rest of his suit.

"He could've done so much better than you." The man spoke, disdain etched in his voice.

"What did I take away your boo?" I raised a brow, given the situation I was in; I shouldn't be saying anything. But I don't have a way to shut up on my own.

The man's metal gauntlet collided with my stomach, which sent my body swinging. I retched for oxygen, I was certain that I felt something crack somewhere in my rib-cage.

"How long have you been with the Asset?"

"He has a name you know. And I am not obliged to tell you my love life." I spat.

"I don't give a shit about it. Now answer the damn question!"

"Your HYDRA; figure it out." He hit me again, causing me to spurt up blood.

"Where. Is. The. Asset." I was clearly testing this guy's patience.

"Long gone." I spat the blood in the man's face. His retaliation knocked my unconscious.

I only hoped that he was long gone. If he turned up in the next week I would kill him _personally_.

* * *

Days went buy; different men came in and tortured me, wether with crowbars, whips, or goddamn mousetraps. I didn't say anything. I didn't eat anything either. I received no sympathy. X would make an appearance once a week; hoping that his upgraded brass knuckles would do some damage. They did but I was finding out just how stubborn I was, as was he.

I was eternally grateful that Bucky did not make an appearance out of all of this, that alone gave me hope that he was free from their wrath. I prayed he would start anew and forget about me; though knowing him I doubt he would. I only hope that he had found some haven, somewhere he could rest without looking over his shoulder. Without worry of the past he loathed to come back to haunt him.

I had no idea how long I had been in this version of hell; I just figured that a day was when another person came in for their version of torture. Days turned into weeks, I began to tally by then. So far I was at seventy-three.

I would come to realize that Seventy-three would be completely different than the first seventy-two.

* * *

"_Wake up_."

A bucket of ice cold water poured a top of me. I instantly burst to life, mouth wide open and gasping for oxygen, yet swallowing water. The water stung the gash on my forehead, as well as the cuts all over my body. It wasn't the best wake up call for as long as I had been here. I took the opportunity to take in my new surroundings.

I was strapped to a metal chair, and a spotlight hovered over my eyes. There were many men dressed like the ones so many times before. I spotted the man with the X standing behind a man in front of me, whom was sitting in a chair similar to mine; but he wasn't strapped to it.

"Guten Morgen Samantha. Are you enjoy your stay?" The man, clearly German, spoke to me smugly.

"A little dark and gothic; he food is terrible; as is the service." I said flatly. The man laughed, unlike the masked man behind him.

"I see Rumlow has not beaten out your humor. We have a few questions to ask you." He said in his thick accent.

"I'm guessing the subject is about your superb historic conservation project?" I asked clenching my fists. The man's smug expression faded like the flip of a switch.

"I will ask nicely; were is the Asset?"

"Why should I tell you? You'll kill me."

"Yes yes we will, we will also kill you if you do not tell us. Although if you do tell us, we will kill you quickly." The German man weighed my options.

"You make it sound _so_ tempting." I seethed.

"So Frau Coulson; where is the Asset?"

"Will you take a 'Go fuck yourself' ."

He paused, sighing before nodding his head. A hand grabbed the back of my head, yanking it backward. The man above me tied a cloth over my mouth, keeping a firm grip upon my matted head of hair.

I felt but could not see who was attacking me, and who ever was hitting me was hitting me hard with a piece of metal. This repeated for about ten minutes, before the man holding me let go. I retched forward; my stomach and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I could feel blood on the cloth upon my mouth, and trickling down my cheek.

"They're here." I heard 'Rumlow' say to his superior.

"I'm afraid that we no longer have use for you, Samantha. Adieu."

X and his superior left the room as alarms went off. Some of the men in the room went with them, save for the two brutish men who were torturing me.

'_I'm guessing that's not the dinner bell_.' I mentally grimaced as the brutish man twirled the crowbar in his hand. The man behind me held my hair in a firm grip once again. The beating began once more. Although this time I tried my best not to scream at the top is my lungs. I bit my lip beneath the cloth so I wouldn't have to, and soon I began to taste blood. The man backhanded me, splitting my lip.

Maybe biting my lip while getting slapped wasn't a good idea.

The gash upon my forehead began to bleed once more. My vision turned fuzzy, the man before me fazing into a large misshapen blob. I struggled to stay conscious as I heard a gun cock in front of me, apparently this blob was armed.

An abrupt bang on the door started the man, and as he turned around; a bullet ripped through my flesh. I screamed to the point where I sounded like an alien. The man behind me also armed himself and blocked my view of the door, but I could hear the wrought iron door begin to fray under the pressure. I realized that my legs were free from restraints and more or less unharmed over the course of this 'session', I scooted my chair to be directly behind them both. I made sure that the sound of my chair would be muted by the door.

Just as the door burst open I kicked the men in the backs of their knees, inhibiting them of doing anything to the people who would enter. A man wearing goggles walked in, shooting both men in the chest with the glocks in his hands.

He wore padding and what looked to be a short sleeved shirt, and a small backpack attached to his suit as well. He looked more like a fancy skydiver than a superhero.

"Hi there." He put his weapons in there holsters.

"Uh hi." I raised a brow, though was met with pain anyway.

"Let's get you out of that." He walked up to my chair and began to unstrap me.

"Let's." I eagerly awaited my freedom.

"Hey, Cap. I found something." The dark male spoke into his glove, I assumed it was a communication device.

"Cap?" I asked, rubbing my aching wrists.

"Don't worry, you're safe." The man assured me.

"You haven't even told me your name."

"Falcon." He deadpanned. I snorted.

"Put pressure on that." He placed my left hand over my bullet wound.

"What?" He slung my arm over his shoulder.

"What, do you talk to birds?" I stifled a laugh, mainly because I knew it would hurt immensely.

"I fly."

"I'll believe it when I see it buddy."

"_Meet you at the rendezvous, Sam_." A familiar voice echoed from the com-glove.

"Steve?"

"You know Steve?"

"Your name is Sam?"

"Yes."

"It's a very pretty name; matches mine."

"Excuse me?"

"My name is Sam, too."

"Oh, hello white female me."

"Hello black bird-man me." I laughed, but began coughing in pain.

"That better not stick." Sam (other me) sighed.

"Right." I wheezed.

"This way." He turned down a hall, arming himself with one of his side arms.

"_Sam how far are you from the rendezvous poin_t?" A feminine voice asked; who seemed to be yelling over gunfire.

"About half a mile west why."

"May have to rethink this plan." I heard an explosion, "_targets are heading your way." _

"Gonna need some back up here; I'm carrying dead weight."

"Hey!"

He gave me a look, I mused "Fair point."

"_I'm on my way; everyone else priority number one is clearing a path to a rendezvous._" Steve sounded off.

"Copy that." Other me ended the conversation; "We may get company."

"Oh, joy."

"Come on." He helped me down the hallway, weapon in hand point outward, ready to fire if the worst occurred. I limped beside he ebony skinned bird-man whom was a bearer of my nickname.

Heavy footsteps grew louder as a group of HYDRA agents ran past us, hank fully they didn't pay us any mind. After the sound of boots subsided we began walking again. The pains in my legs, after so many 'sessions' began to wear me down, step by step. I was willing to bear through to get to the freedom I yearned for.

To see the sun, the moon, and an epic piece of pizza; that alone would be enough for me.

Simultaneously my once dry mouth began to water.

As we rounded a corner bullets shot out, Other Me drew us back behind the wall. I momentarily placed my bloodied hand over my mouth, silencing any scream I would make. Other Me leaned me against the wall, telling me to stay put. I nodded wordlessly and watched as he took out his other side arm, took a breath and peaked passed the corner. Seemingly clear, he rounded the corner again, albeit slower this time.

A tense silence, apart from my ragged breathing, filled the hallway. I looked around for any form of a blunt object I could protect myself with. Thankfully a pipe laid strewn on the floor. I greedily picked it up, preparing for the worst. I inched toward the junction of hallways, readying myself for anything. In one hand I held my gunshot wound, and in the other I held the iron pipe. I took soothing breaths before peaking past the corner.

I couldn't find Other Me.

"Shit." I seethed.

"Language."

I jumped out of my skin, whirling around to find Steve, in his more famous attire.

"Oh my god Sam!" Steve's eyes became wider than his shield as his face registered mine. He instantly reached out to steady me.

"Don't do that!" I hit him on the chest, but instantly felt pain.

"What did you eat a horse heart?"

"No, my hand. But I appreciate that you think I'm Dothraki."

"What's Dothraki?"

"Really."

"Where's Sam."

"He went past that corner," I pointed. Just as I did, gunfire burst out. Steve instinctively placed me between him and his shield, peeking out into the interjecting hall.

"Sam!"

"What!" I said.

"Cap!" I heard Other Me, who seemed relieved to see the ninety year old.

"Oh." I said quietly. Other Me appeared before me unharmed, allowing me to breath easy-ish.

"Come on, let's get you out of here," Steve offered to lift me up.

"Hell no! I am walking out." I told him with a smile.

"You are in no shape to walk." Steve told me.

"I say I am." I tried to stand on my own, but almost fell down with my momentum. After I contained myself I had to lean on the wall. Steve gave me a flat look.

"Hey she walked all the way here." Sam shrugged.

"Alright fine." Steve sighed.

"Where's the new rendezvous point?" Bird-Me asked.

"The roof." Steve's mouth formed into a thin line.

"Oh, no they'll never suspect to look there." I said sarcastically.

"Hey it was a last minute decision alright!"

"What the hell is taking you two so-" I heard a voice from down the hall, a voice I thought I would never see again. A voice I'm going to kill later because he's in more danger of being here than I was.

At the moment my body took over. Time seemed to slow down, and all I could see was the adorable pancake eating man with the metal arm. In the moment I used all the strength I had to run at full sprint, colliding into his torso.

"You asshole!" I cried, allowing all my tears to rid my face of dried blood.

"How am I the ass-" I quickly yanked his jacket collar, silenced him with my bloody lips. I felt his hands cups my cheeks, savoring every millisecond.

"Hey, lovebirds; do that later. We need to go." Steve teased his friend. With a groan toward his friend; Bucky scooped me up as if it were natural, and I couldn't have time to say no.

"Bucky put me down." I said flatly.

"No."

"Bucky."

"Sam, you've been shot and god knows what else. No."

"It's a flesh wound."

"I'm going to pretend I never heard that."

"Put me down, James."

"I can throw you over my shoulder... _if you want_."

"I hate you."

"I'm aware."

"Is Aussie-"

"He's fine."

"Thank god."

"Tasha, how's that pickup coming." I heard Steve call.

"_Ready for pickup, Cap_." The feminine voice echoed in the three men's com-links.

"We got enough room for one more?"

"_Yeah why_?"

"Well that 'something' that Sam found turned out to be Coulson's niece. Ready a medic, she's pretty bad."

"_Roger that Rogers._"

"Really?"

"Wait; that's Coulson's niece?" Bird-me asked confused.

"Hi again." I said awkwardly, "Fury's gonna kill me isn't he?"

"Yeah." All three of them mused.

"You know what, just leave me here."

"You're staying with me." Bucky pulled me closer to his chest.

As we began ascending the endless flights of steps, I began to feel heavy. I finally felt my body begin to shut down. I honestly had no idea how I made this far in the first place, I swear it was the adrenalin.

"Bucky," I said woozily.

"Sam, stay with me," I heard the panic rise in his voice.

"Trying." I could hear the spinning blades of the helicopter. I watched as the man I deeply cared for become an adorable fuzzy blob. I watched as his mouth made words but it came out muffled, yet I still heard the panic in his voice as it became higher and higher. I felt as he stopped walking, and a fuzzy version of Bird-Me and Steve appeared in view. Again their voices were muffled as well.

All I could register was Fuzzy Bucky's pained (fuzzy) look upon his features before everything went dark.

* * *

I awoke to the soothing robotic rhythm of a heart monitor and blinding white light. I felt a wave of dull pain wash over my entire body; as well as stiffness in my limbs.

'_If this is heaven it feels painful_.' I thought to myself.

I blinked, waiting for my pupils to adjust to the reflective white light of my hospital room. I was also waiting for feeling to return to my body, but I knew that would take a while to commence. However I was able to move my head around, but all I could see was white. White walls, white blinds, white bed sheets. What I found astounding, was that there was a large black and brown headed mass asleep on the side of my bed; and a metallic arm holding my hand.

As soon as I saw it I smiled ear to ear. I was tempted to leave him there but I pretty much knew he was waiting for something related to me.

"Morning- or afternoon." I yawned.

His head shot upright before looking at me. He clearly hadn't gotten sleep, the bags were evident under his crystal blue irises. He definitely hadn't shaved either, he looked like he almost had a full blown heard. He still had his locks though, and he had them tied up in a ponytail. If I wasn't just emerging from what I presumed to be a coma, I would so point it out.

"Sam- you,"

"Look ridiculous." I finished.

"I was gonna say terrible, but that works too."

"Oh, gee thanks," I said sarcastically.

"How long was I out?"

"A week and a half. Your body almost shutdown three times."

"You mean I almost died three times?"

"Yeah, but your heart was still beating."

"That makes no sense."

"Don't look at me; that's what they said."

"But how did you-"

"Steve said it was luck."

"Doesn't feel like it." I seethed through my teeth, trying to sit up right.

"You have a fractured collarbone, don't try to move."

"That may have been important to tell me."

"You didn't bring it up."

"How would you bring that- you know what never-mind. How bad is my rap sheet anyway?"

"You have a major concussion, dislocated shoulder, lacerations to your wrists and neck, a few cracked ribs too. You needed about 900 stitches in total-"

"I shouldn't have asked."

"I'm just glad you're alive."

"I am too, but I doesn't feel like it."

"They have you on an IV and morphine."

"Oh joy, pump me full of drugs."

"Sam,"

"I was kidding." I watched the man in front of me smile.

"Get some sleep." He pecked my heavily bandaged forehead.

"Right; I just wake up and you tell me to sleep." I chuckled.

"Just get some sleep, Sam."

"Bucky!" I called just as he reached the door.

"Yeah?"

"When you come back, get a pizza, please. I'm seriously craving a good pizza right now."

He laughed at my request.

"What I'm serious. I haven't had a pizza in seventy-four days."

"I'll get a pizza, I promise. Now get some sleep."

"Ooh and some doughnuts! And Nutella!"

"Sleep!" As much as he tried he couldn't contain his laughter.

I closed my eyes and began mentally counting the seconds until I got my pizza. Thankfully it was only 105;677 seconds before I got my wish, boredom was starting to sound real friendly.

Bucky walked in with a pizza box in hand, and Steve was right behind him with a small bouquet of flowers; BirdMe was there as well.

"Hi guys. Pizza my love!"

"Nice to see you up." BirdMe grabbed a slice, as did the two ninety year olds.

"Nice to be up, I just wanna be up and about. Which I don't think will happen."

"Actually the doctor says you are healing rather rapidly." Steve munched on his slice of pizza.

"Really? How come?"

The three men exchanged glances.

That couldn't mean anything good.

"Sam, did they inject you with anything?"

'_Session day seventeen._'

"I don't know, hard to tell." I said, furrowing my half covered eyebrows.

'_Could definitely tell_.'

"And that means?" Sam openly asked.

'_I'm a fresh female brunette version of you._'

"Maybe, not entirely sure." I did my best to sound puzzled.

'_Definitely sure_.'

Steve sighed, "Okay then. My friend is going to come in and run some tests, if that's okay with you."

"Yeah sure. Is he going to have to come out of retirement for this?" I grabbed my third slice of pizza from the box that lay in my lap.

"No, he's not." Steve replied, however the other two men in the room were laughing.

"Until then, let us know if you feel weird."

"You mean if I get my period? Thanks but I'm not in middle school."

"Not what I meant." Rogers said with a smile.

"I know what you meant, Steve, you don't need to worry."

'_Should probably put me under quarantine_.'

"Alright, us guys have to go somewhere. We'll get back to you when we can." Steve patted my uninjured shoulder. Sam gave me a fist bump. Bucky, who was last to leave, gave me a full blown kiss on the lips, my greasy pizza covered lips.

"Kick their asses." I said to him.

"I will."

"Hey Bucky!"

He turned to look at me.

"I love you."

He smiled, "I love you too."

"You better." I smiled a I took a bite of my sixth slice of pizza. He laughed and walked out the room.

'_Be safe... Oh my god this pizza is epic!_'

* * *

I awoke the next day to an empty room. I had finally found the remote of which controlled the bed's position, and that of the TV in the corner. I utilized both immensely.

A soft knock came to the door while I was watching Planet Earth.

"Come in," I said to the person outside the door. I heard a soft cream and a distinct click. I looked over to the figure, I was guessing this was Steve's friend. I concluded he was more as coming out of hiding than coming out of retirement. He wore a pair is spectacles, and a purple button down with a pair of Khakis. Over his outfit was a tweed coat, and he fiddled with his hand nervously.

"Hi, are you Sam?" He asked.

"Yes, are you Steve's friend?" I asked back, cautiously eyeing the short man. He nodded.

"I'm Bruce." He gave an awkward wave.

"Hi." I waved back.

"I'm just going to run some tests, draw a bit of blood. That's it." He said with a small smile.

"Okay." I said to him, still groggy from the new pint of IV. He took out from his messenger bag a small syringe and in the blink of an eye filled it of my blood. He labeled the small vile, sealed it, and placed it back in his bag. He then took out a popsicle stick that wasn't covered in the dessert. I opened my mouth and he took a quick peak, taking down notes in his small leather bound notebook.

He checked my ears, and ran every diagnostic known to man in the length of ten minutes.

"It's a kidney stone I garuntee it." I said sarcastically. Bruce chuckled.

"No, your fine. Well fine for anyone who's recovering from-"

"Being held against your will for seventy-four days?"

"You counted?"

"Not much else to do."

He nodded.

"I will check back with you as soon as I can. It was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too, Bruce." I waved the man goodbye. Just as he left the blonde typhoon of repressed emotion stormed in.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN! ARE YOU OKAY! OMIGOD YOUR PRECIOUS FACE! WHY DIDN'T YOU DRAG BUCKY'S ASS WITH YOU WHEN YOU VISITED?! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" Nat paced the foot of my hospital bed, drawing attention of the people on the other side of the plexiglass window.

"You clearly had sex." I analyzed her disheveled head of blonde locks. She glared daggers at me.

Scratch that; she glared _atomic bombs_ at me.

"Is that all you ever think about!" She said exasperated.

"Keeps you from yelling, sometimes." I shrugged.

"I was so worried about you. I couldn't live with myself, I gained thirteen pounds. It's gonna take months to get these love-handles out!" Her incredibly vain self poked and prodded at her hips, which were in pristine condition, despite her complaints.

"Only thirteen pounds; I thought you cared about me?"

"Don't give me that shit. You never told me you'd been sleeping with Hotstuff," she pointed a finger at me.

"You still call him that?" I asked.

"Not answering my question, Samantha," she put her hands in her hips.

"I slept with him, yes. Besides I know you are with someone."

"Really how?"

"I can smell Steve's aftershave- OH MY GOD YOU'RE WITH STEVE!" I pointed at her. If any television reference would work right about now, it would be when Joey found out about Chandler and Monica. Eye size sounds about right, as do the incoherent shouts and the pointing.

Yup works great.

"Will you shut up!" She rushed over to cover her hands over my mouth to keep me from screaming. Well, really muffle the screams, cause I was still screaming.

"Alright. Yes, I am with Steve. Happy?"

"Who else knows?"

"So far, you, Milo, and Aussie."

"Okay; pets do not count in this."

"Okay fine, just you. But please do not tell anyone."

"Please tell me you went easy on him, he's like a ninety year old virgin."

"Do not put that in my head."

"Aw you're his first!" I teased.

"I am not! I already asked."

"WHAT! Did he say who? Oh my god I'm turning into you. Never-mind! Don't tell me. Don't tell me."

"Glad that's how you think of me."

"You're welcome." I smiled brightly.

"Are you gonna tell me why Banner was in here just now?" She pulled up a chair.

"Wait; that was Bruce Banner."

"Yeah. He said he had to check on you, Steve's request. I wanted to come see you; you look disastrous by the way."

"Do NOT tell anyone this, alright?" She nodded her head.

"Is this some high school secret thing?" She raised a brow.

"No way in hell." I glared at her. She held up her hands in defense awaiting what I was to tell her. Taking a page out her book I took in a deep breath.

"Okay while I was there; they injected me with something. I don't know what. I haven't told anyone, but the doctor told Steve that I was healing rapidly. So Steve wanted Banner to come in and run some tests." I said to her without so much as taking a breath. She looked at me with wide eyes.

I guess it was her turn to be Joey.

"SAMANTHA JANE COULSON! Why wouldn't you tell someone? This is important, this is your body. The very fabric of your well being here; I mean hello!"

"I could have been morphine I don't know alright!" I tried to calm her down.

"Sam what if it isn't? What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know." I shut my eyes, trying to rid myself of thoughts.

"Sam, you need to tell me everything that happened. I _mean_ everything."

All the images, all the sessions came hurdling back into view. I felt as I I was watching the past painful seventy four days replay over and over again. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"They experimented on me, they tortured me, they almost fucking _raped_ me! I was bludgeoned, whipped, slashed; half of what they did I hadn't ever fucking heard of! I was even tasered repeatedly for two whole hours. I was so scared Nat; I _wanted_ to die. I wanted to die so badly." I unleashed a tsunami of tears. Nat instinctively cradled my upper body as I relentlessly sobbed. She stroked the top of my bandaged head, soothing me as she rocked me as if I were her child. As I sat with her having my emotional breakdown, I felt as if a ten ton weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was relieving that I could metaphorically breath easily for the first time in my life. I felt free of the emotional baggage I had carried for so long. It wasn't just from what had recently put me in this position; it was _all_ of my emotional baggage. Everything from my uncle's death; my parents; my brother. All of it was finally lifted from my shoulders.

After a half hour I had finally calmed down. Taking slow shaky breaths, partly because the crying hurt my ribs so much.

"Sam, I-"

"Nat... Please don't.." I sniffled.

"You want anything?"

"As many chocolate pastries as you can carry."

"Your relationship with food ceases to surprise me." She laughed.

"I'll be right back," she grabbed her purse and left the room.

* * *

**Hope you all liked it! **

**Please write some reviews, I love what you have to say! **

**Longboard917**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey you guys! Guess what?**

**SCHOOL IS HELL! **

**I haven't been able to do as much on this site because of all my AP work. I told y'all I was gonna die this year. On TOP OF THAT I have all these college visits I gotta do. Don't get me wring I think its great to get out of school for a weekend, but AP classes follow me like the walking dead I swear to god. **

**Anyway, My birthday is but thirteen days away from today, and I really wanna post another chapter by then. I hope I can survive this hell for that mount of time. **

**BTW I am LOVING ALL THESE REVIEW, KEEP EM COMING!**

**love you all Longboard917**

* * *

_Chapter 9: Unfortunate_

* * *

Two whole weeks and I still was stuck in this white hell. Forced to wear paper dresses, become attached to computers, and be pumped full of drugs. Two whole weeks, and I still had no sign of getting out of here. If I had to spend another day here; I was gonna jump out the nearest window.

The rehab was going vigorously slow. I was only given an hour to do everything I once did, and it wasn't as fast as I thought it would. It wasn't like I pulled a muscled where you stretch for an hour and your fine. I had to relearn almost everything that I knew since I was a toddler. We spent two days just trying to get me to tie my shoes.

My pride was slashed into pieces by then.

I _hated_ therapy, I _hated_ that I had to spend hour after hour sitting in a chair and some uptight woman with her pencil and clipboard shoved up her ass looking at me. It's not like I didn't say anything, I told her what happened to me, very vaguely though. I am aware I have issues; I am also aware that she has no need to know about them, so piss off Dr. What's-her-face.

Nat would visit every day, often times bringing all kinds of food (which I was turning down), we would chat about what was going in with everyone. Bucky and Steve were on missions as of late, and BirdMe would always fill me in when he visited. Every time that the two came back the first place Bucky would go was my hospital room, which caused alarm for one nurse when he barged in all bloodied and covered in mud.

At the same time it was hysterical for me.

"You know Mrs. Jensen wants to see you." Nat said as she ate her cheese burger.

"She does?" I looked up from my meal, that I had, abnormally, barely touched.

"Yeah, she called a couple of days ago. I told her that you were recovering smoothly and you would see her when you moved back in to your apartment." Nat shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh, thank you."

"You alright? You seem distant."

"I'm in a hospital, in an isolated room, away from society-"

"Sam. I'm serious; what's wrong?"

"_Never_ in my life have I experienced period cramps like this... I think it's the serum." I pushed upon my pelvis, trying to numb the pain.

Nat dropped her fork; "Seriously I'm eating..."

"You asked!"

"Why didn't you ask the nurse?!"

"I did, they can't do anything until tomorrow when the doctor comes in." I whined.

"Have you asked Steve?"

"Yes I asked a ninety five year old man if he gets _menstrual_ cycles."

"I meant weird symptoms asshole."

"He's your boyfriend; you ask him."

"You have one too!"

"Yeah, one that doesn't even know what a menstrual cycle is thanks to state of the art historical conservationists."

"Seriously you need to tell him. I understand why you wanted to keep it a secret at first, but I don't think Steve can hold it from him much longer."

"It isn't like I can just bring it up over dinner Nat; like I'm just gonna go 'Hey so while I was in prison I was experimented on by the same organization that gave you your arm, what are the chances?'"

"Sam.."

"Nat I can't, I don't him want to see me any different than he already does."

"Sam; he doesn't."

"How do you know. All I see is a battered shell of something that used to be human in a hospital bed."

"Right; all _you_ see. That's not what he sees. He sees the one person in the world who didn't care who he was before, and someone that he loves with all his heart."

"Okay which romantic comedy did you conjure that out of?"

"None! What you fail to see is that people here care about you, so stop pushing them out for fuck's sake! I am honestly getting real tired of all this 'I wanna be alone' bullshit! It's not only hurting us, but it's hurting you! And don't even think about denying that!"

I blinked; I had never seen Nat behave like that. Maybe my serum-menstrual mood swings were contagious.

"If you don't tell him when he gets back; I will."

"What's gotten into you?" I asked her.

"Nothing; except your persistence on refusing to tell anyone what's wrong with you."

"No your acting like me; and its frightening."

"I haven't been feeling well."

"Good idea, your sick so come to a hospital to infect your best friend, I see where this going."

"No it's not that at all," she laughed, "I haven't been feeling well, that doesn't mean I'm sick."

"No it means you're pregnant," I chuckled at my anecdote, but when I looked up at Nat, the smile on my face faded at her sly smirk.

"HOLY SHIT YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"

"Sam I was going to tell you-"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT! Wh- how?"

"Well a girl and a boy meet, and they-"

"This isn't health class I know how that works! Does Steve-"

"He knows, everyone knows; I came here to tell you." She smiled from ear to ear. I paused in thought.

"He knew what a condom is right?" I asked.

"YES, you ass," She hit my shoulder.

"Okay, once I get out of here, I am so gonna make him marry you." I grumbled.

"I would love that." She laughed, she gave me a short hug and left the room, leaving me to my thought on the news.

A knock came to the door, "You forget something Nat?" I laughed not bothering to look up from my food.

"Lovely to see you again Frau Coulson, how are you feeling this morning?" The thick German voice sent chills down my spine. The same man who almost killed me numerous times over seventy-four days was now suddenly back in my life, I kind of wished it would've been a year later.

I also wished he was dead; but I guess wishes can't always come true.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Will you take a go fuck yourself?" He smiled. I, however, remained silent.

"You see fräulein; your friends are very important to you, but they so happen to be a major problem for us."

"Noted, so why did you inject me with the serum?"

"As yes the serum; it's a prototype really. It was designed to be exactly like the one that was given to Captain Rogers. However we ran into some complications."

"What kind of complications?" I glared at the man who casually leaned on my foot rail.

"With every test subject, they would do the opposite of what we wanted- mainly we wanted them to live; the serum wasn't cooperating."

"Get to the point. I don't need your Shakespearean monologue."

"You have about two years to live fräulein."

"Let me guess, your the only one with an antidote." I tired not to be shocked.

"I'm afraid we have no antidote; each one we have administered has failed us."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Unfortunately compassion overruled my aggression toward you. And I wanted to see you were suffering."

"I'm not suffering."

"You will be in two years time, believe me."

"I have seventy-four reasons not to."

"I will try to keep in touch, in case anything pops up."

"I doubt I'll answer."

"What if I were to provide you the incentive to answer my calls? It would be an awful shame knowing that an unborn child's death was your fault."

"You. Wouldn't. Dare."

"I found your boyfriend and captured you didn't I?"

"If you hurt her; I swear to fucking God-"

"You'll what? Tear me apart? Believe me fräulein I have heard that one too many times before, and that my dear has become Shakespearean."

"Fuck you!"

"Americans and their tempers; your almost as bad as the Scottish with that mouth of yours."

"GET OUT!"

"As you wish fräulein," with that he turned and left, without as much as a single gunshot; which I honestly wished I put in through the back of his head.

I sat there on my hospital bed, silent for once in my life.

* * *

_How was I to protect my friends when I was going to die in two years? What was I supposed to do? What will Nat say? _

_ 'No way am I telling them about this!'_ I said to myself_._

_But what if they already know? Could they come up with an antidote? What will happen to my body in two years time?_

What about Bucky?

_ What about Bucky?_

If they knew how to reach me could they get Bucky? Or even worse? What about Nat! She's gonna have a family; I can't be he cause of her death. She has a life apart from this, she doesn't need to be dragged in it. I love all of them but they don't deserve to die because of me!

Bucky was coming back in two days.

I had two days to escape.

* * *

The doctor came in and said I was due to check out in two weeks. I guess the serum that no one knew about was working faster than I thought. The nurses schedule I had memorized perfectly over the amount of time I had stayed here. She would come in at 9:30 pm to change the IV before she went home. Thankfully the doctor said I no longer needed it and was only on painkillers. So she came in and left me my cup of pills and a bottle of water.

I looked toward the letter I had written earlier that day. A painful smile formed on my face, I knew that this was for the best, and if he were in my position he would probably do the same thing. I set the letter on the nightstand, making sure that his name was clearly visible.

I had already stashed some scrubs from a clean cart. I went to the bathroom and changed into the emerald green outfit. I stashed the bottle and pills in my pants pocket, grabbed my jacket and walked out the room. I made sure the hood was up so no one would notice me. I also made sure to stop by the retrieval for the hospital, which held my clothes in a book-bag. I thanked the old woman and left he way I came. I ran out a side entrance and walked directly to the parking lot.

I rummaged in my bag to see what I had with me, my wallet was no where in sight, not was my phone. All I had were the set of ratty clothes I wore day Seventy-four. I slung the bag over my shoulder and began walking toward the nearest subway station. Which quite frankly felt like it was a half and hour walk.

I got on the subway that led to grand central, I spent the next hour pick pocketing people so that I could get the fastest train out of New York.

I didn't know where I was going, all I knew is that I needed to get to my uncle's beach house in Portland. I knew there was an enormous stash of cash and supplies. So I needed to get across the country before someone else knew I was heading there. Thankfully only two other people knew about it, my uncle and my brother; who were six feet under.

"Portland here I come," I sighed, leaning my head against the glass window of the train as the world whizzed by. I closed my eyes as I remembered the last written words I would speak to Bucky.

* * *

_Bucky,_

_ Please don't let this letter think that this is your fault. I would love to say that everything will be fine, and that HYDRA is out of our lives forever. Unfortunately the world doesn't work out like that. I have been lying to you, and I know that it pains me as much as you. _

_ The truth is; I was injected with a serum like Steve during my 'stay'. I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid. Afraid of what people would say, what kind of predicament it would put me in, and how much of a danger I could be to the public. Honestly, I was in denial that any of this was physically possible. I truly wished that part of my life was a dream, and that I would wake up in your arms. Steve and Nat already knew about it, but I made them promise not to tell you. For that I am truly sorry. _

_ I am leaving because I need time to grasp my situation. Although you may think that is complete bullshit; and you may possibly be right; I feel that this is something I have to do. I don't know how this will work out for me, but I know that the longer I stay in one place; I pose more danger to you and innocent people not only in our lives. I may not live up to your pickpocketing skills, but I'm sure I can use what you taught me in this chapter of my life. _

_ I do not wish for you to find me, but as I am finding myself, I would request that you stay the honorable man you are. I want you to smile though, and laugh for once when not around me. Also I want you to take care of Aussie; make sure he is loved and refrains from eating Milo. Finally, I want you to find love with someone. Find some one who will always be there when you need them. Someone who will listen to what you say. Someone who will love you as you are. _

_ Someone who in time, will make you forget your troubles, and let you be who you truly are. _

_A good man. _

_I love you; _

_Sam'_

* * *

I awoke to the screeching brakes of the train as it lurched to a halt. I rubbed my eyes from sleep and departed from the locomotive, oddly finding myself in where this whole situation began almost a year ago.

I was back in Washington.

I pulled my hood up and adjusted the strap of my bookbag. I ran to the nearest bathroom, quickly changing out of the scrubs and into the back pack's change of clothing. I put my jacket back on, throwing my scrubs into the garbage as I walked out.

I easily moved within the crowd of my home city, almost as if It were a second nature to me. I wasn't too far from my old flat, which I hoped that Mrs. Jensen had kept in order. I stopped by the bookshop I once worked at, staring in the window to find my old boss sitting behind the counter reading another Shakespearean novel. I was about to reach for the door but I stopped myself, he had no idea about Bucky, and if I was right about him watching the news, he would probably call Nat saying that he had found me before I would get a chance to say hello. As much as I wanted to see him, I couldn't bare dragging the man into this, he had too much to lose.

So I kept walking, hopefully I could get in my apartment unnoticed if Mrs. Jensen was still on her sleeping pills.

As nightfall blanketed the sky I felt the snowflakes grace my cheeks. I stood in front of my Apartment building, staring at it for a reason unknown. If I was to get to Portland why was I stopping here first? Wouldn't they look here first anyway?

As I pondered my thoughts, I was unknowingly opening the door without thought, thankfully it was unlocked. I crept into the building, making sure my footsteps were deaf for those who resided here. I scaled the steps with ease and tested the knob of my door. I found it quite odd that it was unlocked, I felt my spine tingle with dread as I peeked inside. At the moment it was dark, and looked as if it was the exact same way I last saw it, minus the whole bullet riddled walls and attack that got me into this mess. I crept into the flat, silently closing the door with a soft click. I pushed my hood back revealing my bed headed locks. I found the whole situation alarming, mainly because it was so silent, and even though I knew no one else was here, it still felt wrong to me. It was as if the house had no soul, an empty shell of what it once was.

It sounded a lot like me.

I snuck past the kitchen and was about to go into my bedroom when the lights suddenly flicked on; "And just where do you think you're going?"

I whirled around stiff as a board to find Fury reclining on my sofa, trench-coat an all.

"Aren't you supposed to be overseas?"

"Was a dead end. Where's your beau?"

"Not here, I'm alone."

"You sure you know what you're doing kid?"

"Why do you care? you have an entire world to worry about."

"Because I promised someone I would be there for his niece, and I intend to keep it."

My gaze shifted to the floor.

"Now I ask again; Are you sure you know what you are doing?"

I nodded my head. Fury sighed reaching back into his trench coat.

"Here, you'll need these." He handed me a passport, credit card, and a pistol.

"Nick; I appreciate what you're doing but I can't take these."

"No one knows about these, _this_, is between you and me alone."

"I can only take two of these then." I gave him back the credit card.

"I'm not going to tell them I ever saw you, and I'll make sure you were never here. But when you do decide to come back, just know that it won't be as welcoming for some of us."

"I understand Nick; thank you for all your help." I placed the pistol in the back of my pants and the passport in my bag. I turned around and headed to my room.

"You know you've hurt him by doing this."

I stopped in my tracks.

"He's a big boy; he'll get over it." I said solemnly.

"That's what you're afraid of."

I turned around to face the elder man, only to find an empty flat, save for me. I felt tears brim my eyes as the words repeated in my head.

"_He'll get over me. I told him to._"

* * *

**SO. MANY. FEELS.**

**Sorry, ish.**

**Hope you guys like it. Please write more reviews, cause you guys are AMAZING!**

**I love you all. **

**Longboard917**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey so my birthday is tomorrow and as I promised that I would get you all a chapter!**

**Like I said those reviews you guys are giving are FANTASTIC! Please keep them coming!**

**Now this chapter takes place a year and seven months after she left Bucky. **

**Enjoy**

**Longboard917**

* * *

_Chapter 10: Ghosts_

* * *

I awoke to the soft mewling of Anubis' fur planted firmly on my face. I grabbed the Egyptian Mau by the scruff of his next and set him aside, allowing air to enter my nostrils. The smoky colored cat simply curled up in a ball upon the bedsheets, not wanting to be disturbed from his pleasant slumber.

_'Oh how I envy you,' _I said to myself.

I rose out of he warm comfort of my bed, revealing my tattered body. Scars were scattered across my left arm, and one distinctly decided to make itself know as it peeked out from the hem of my tank top that lay upon my stomach. I no longer had long wavy locks, but a short bob that bounced with every step I took. I walked into the bathroom, wincing at the bright light that flicked on. My eyes carried dark circles under, from tireless days of running for my life. Although I hadn't ran from anyone in seven months, I still felt like I should be.

I felt like there was always someone following me, waiting for me to be caught off guard and they would snatch me from existence.

_If they came on a Monday I would gladly be shot dead._

I walked out of the bathroom of my decrepit flat, viewing how scarce it was to a home. All I had was essentials; kitchen, table, bed, and a small TV that I was surprised to find, still in working order. No decorations, no photos, no phone. Nothing to call home. Then again Wakanda wasn't much of home. It was a shelter. That was all I would ever need. When ever I needed to pick up and go, I already had a backpack full of everything I needed. I would probably let Maria keep Anubis, he seemed to like the child who lived below me.

A soft knock sent my senses on high alert. I grabbed a knife from the block on the counter and approached the door.

"Who is it?" I called out, gripping the large knife until my knuckles turned white.

Three knocks, and then two more answered me; Maria was up awfully early. I slowly opened the door, peeking out to find the small child staring back at me, smiling ear to ear. I rolled my eyes and let the child in.

"We gotta stop meeting like this kiddo," I quipped as the child flopped onto the countertop. I placed he knife back where it belong as the child simply smiled at me.

"Lemme guess you want pancakes?" I eyed her knowingly. Maria nodded furiously.

"Pancakes coming up!" I walked over to the pantry and grabbed a box of ready to make batter. Maria hopped off the counter and grabbed a gallon of water. The small child heaved it up onto the counter, refusing my help through the process. When she finally got the container on the counter she jumped for joy. I high-fived the small girl in her accomplishment.

"Alright up we go." I picked Maria up under her arms, setting her down beside the mixing bowl.

"Could you grab me a mixing spoon?" I said whilst pouring the dry batter into the bowl. I cracked two eggs, throwing the shells perfectly into the trash can. Maria added the cup of water and handed me the mixing spoon. The two of us mixed the bowl, occasionally throwing the mixture at each other.

As I poured the batter into the pan, Maria watched the TV while cuddling with Anubis.

"Hey Maria whatcha watching there?" I handed her a plate of pancakes. The small Egyptian simply pointed.

'_Disaster strikes Wakanda_!' Was clearly visible on the screen.

"_Eye witness footage shows Captain America and the avengers battling an unknown assailant; also the fabled Black Panther was spotted trailing a man in a backpack. If anyone has any information call this number now._" I watched in shock as the said footage played on a loop. The battle between Steve and X, Bird-Me flying on some weird jetpack. The _metal_ glint of the backpack man's left hand.

I felt Maria tug my shirt, longing for me to say something. I looked down at her with wide eyes.

"Where's your mom? She come home last night?" I asked.

Maria grabbed a pencil and wrote on the napkin, '_I don't know. Not come home yet._'

I sighed. The girl was to young to see all of this. Let alone grow up with a heroine addict and a stripper for a mother. Then again I can't pick my neighbor. I had to keep her innocent self away from all of this carnage.

"Wanna go to the aquarium?" The small girl didn't bother to write anything down, just simply bobbed upon the couch cushion. I shook my head with a smile, Maria deeply wanted to be a fish, and so what better way to keep her away from destruction than to bring her closer to her true love; fish.

"Okay, but you gotta eat your pancakes first." She dropped her napkin and began furiously stuffing her mouth with pancakes. I took the opportunity to go and get dressed. I threw on a pair of green skinny jeans and a black overhang shirt, over that was a green safari jacket. Once dressed I walked back out into the great area, slipping into a pair of running shoes. I grabbed my motorcycle helmet and keys. As soon as I turned around, Maria was already equipped with her own helmet and ready to go.

"Alright, let's go." I turned the TV off and set a bowl of food out for Anubis. With that I grabbed the child's hand and walked out of my flat. I waved hello to the landlord, his name I could never pronounce. I set Maria in front of me on the candy red motorcycle.

"Okay aquariums it is," I started the bike and sped off. I weaved in and out of city traffic skillfully. Maria was loving every turn, every twist, even being able to touch the side of a moving bus. Thanks to Wakandan traffic, what should be a thirty minutes drive shrank into ten.

I parked the motorcycle (that Fury gave me, along with a LOADED super secret bank account) in the leveled parking lot. I helped Maria take off her bright turquoise helmet that she bought while we were at a Wakandan version of target, the name of which I could never pronounce. I placed her feet firmly on the concrete and set our helmets on each handle bar. Maria grabbed my finger with her hand and led me to the elevator.

Once on the city streets, I instantly threw my hood up; not wanting to be seen by prying eyes. The sinking feeling of someone following began to settle in my chest. I gripped Maria's hand tighter, yet I still allowed her to drag me into the public aquarium.

I was able to pay for the two of us just in time for the eight year old to drag me straight through the crowds. Her first stop was the brightly colored fish of the Caribbean, said the exhibit. It honestly looked like the setting to Finding Nemo.

_Not that I was complaining._

She pointed out the endless amount of fish species as I held her in my arms. Clownfish, seahorses; even those of which I couldn't even begin to pronounce. All I knew was there was a Nemo, Marlin, Dory, and what looked to a Squirt; if squirt was a green goldfish.

I set Maria down so that she could drag me to the next exhibit, jellyfish; and the. To the Dolphins. Finally we reached the Sharks, which Maria absolutely adored. She would plant her face upon the glass to stare at the swimming beasts. I wasn't surprised at all, since there were still marks from the last time she visited. Once I managed to pry her away from the glass, I heaved her up into my arms so that she could get a better view. We slowly made our way down the hall, following Bob, the shark that Maria (_mainly Maria_) and I had named.

We (_Maria_) then b-lined to the gift shop. I was forced to weave through the crowds as I could barely keep up with the deaf eight year old. I finally managed to make it in to the rather enormous gift shop. Stuffed animals and arbitrary items were stacked everywhere. They had everything from ball caps to spatulas, assuming one would need most of these things. As Maria grabbed all the Sharks plushies she could carry, I grabbed a faded blue hoodie and a dark ball cap. It may come in handy later.

"Maria you can only get two." I shook my head at the child practically covered by stuffed sharks. The girl turned heel and placed all but two back in there place, almost anyway. As I walked toward the eight year old, I felt a tug on the back of my jacket. I turned around to find no one, setting off my inner alarm bells. But a small flash of blonde below my eyesight caused me to look down.

A small blonde haired boy no more than three looked up at me with bright green eyes.

"Hi," he said shyly. All I could do was wish to chew on his chubby cheeks, this kid was the epitome of adorable.

"Hi," I smiled back. I assumed that was the only word he knew.

"James! Hey where are you?" I heard a voice call out. The blonde boy turned around and then looked up at me, not with pleading eyes, but excited ones.

"Is your name James?" I asked.

The small child nodded his head while gnawing on his bottom lip. I laughed as Maria approached me from behind. The blonde boy waved to the elder girl, to which she shyly hid behind my jacket.

"James, there you are big guy where you been-" I looked up to find BirdMe standing behind the blonde boy.

"Sam?" He asked.

I quickly tried to play it off, "I'm sorry who?"

BirdMe picked up James, which I now noticed had a strong resemblance to both Natalie and Steve. The strawberry blonde hair, the freckles and blue-green eyes; and Nat's distinct button nose from her elementary days. He was clearly split right down the middle.

'_I see they had a boy, then._'

"What are you doing here?" He demanded answers. Clearly a simple hairdo wouldn't cut it if you were hiding from those who knew you, even if it was a year and seven months later.

"This isn't exactly the best place to talk." I said flatly.

"Yeah well if you go outside it won't be a good place to be seen either." He noted.

"Why?"

"Well Bucky won't be happy to see you with a kid."

'_Bucky was here._' My heart leapt, though my face didn't show it.

"She's not my kid," I said to him.

"Hey, I wasn't sure," BirdMe said defensively.

"It's fine Sam," I told him; "lemme pay for this first then we'll talk." Maria handed me her twin sharks and the four of us walked up to the cash register.

"So how long have you been here?" BirdMe asked.

"Not long."

"Care to elaborate why you left?"

"I already did."

"You did?"

"I left it for Bucky; in a letter."

"I didn't see any letter when we got there."

"We?"

"I went with him. He and Steve searched the entire block, I looked around your room; I didn't see a letter."

"I wrote him a letter explaining why! It had his name on it. I left it on the nightstand." My heart rate began to rise with panic.

"It wasn't there."

'_It wasn't there, I left three hours before they got there; who the hell took it?_'

BirdMe's phone suddenly went off; thankfully with my new abilities, I could hear the conversation.

"_Hey Sam, Steve said to get back he found something we should see_." Bucky's voice was bittersweet music to my ears, even if it was slightly distorted by the electronic device.

"Be out in a second. Kid's going number two." Sam smoothly lied whisky holding the child in one arm.

Bucky sighed in frustration, _"It's about her_."

BirdMe looked directly at my face, "You mean Sam? What'd Cap say?"

"_Nothing, just that it's about her and we should see i_t."

"Alright I'll be there."

"_Make it fast._"

With that the conversation ended. BirdMe placed the smartphone back in his jacket pocket. He adjusted his hold on the blonde toddler.

"Be seeing you Sam, gotta go save the world again." He lied with a kind smile.

"Yeah; see you around." My lips formed a thin line. I watched as the black man and pale child walked away. James waved goodbye, as did Maria and her twins sharks she had yet to name. I looked down at the chocolate skinned, and mute, eight year old.

I sighed; "C'mon lets go finish those pancakes." I held my hand out which she readily took. I ripped the tag off of the recently purchased ball cap and stuck it directly on my head. I threw my green hood over it hoping to draw off attention from anyone (Bucky) who would recognize me. I did not let Sam or small James out of my sight as Maria and I were walking out the same main entrance as they were.

I held Maria closer to me as we walked out into the mass of crowds outside the aquarium. I could still easily spot the blonde child amongst the darker skinned community. I watched as BirdMe and Small James approached a figure leaning upon the entrance to the parking garage where I had parked my motorcycle. I noticed that he held a leash to a now aged Aussie, who thankfully kept his happiness in my absence. The figure had kept his unmistakable hair length, the same mannerisms; the soft reflection of his metallic fingers. He happily cooed to Small James as the blonde toddler giggled in his high pitched voice.

How I wanted to run up and kiss Bucky right then and there.

I kept my head down as I walked past BirdMe and the two James'. I could only steal a glance at the stubbled jaw, the pouty lips, and the shadow of his ball cap that prevented me from seeing anything else of what once was. Only a glance as I walked into the parking garage with Maria in one hand and my faded blue aquarium jacket in the other.

I was able to keep my emotions in check as Maria and I walked up the steps to where I had parked. I looked down at the mute girl to see she had been too preoccupied with her new toys to care about the situation. I smiled at her innocence, stopping but a moment so I could place the blue zipper hoodie upon her.

"Put your new pals in here, okay?" I helped her stuff her twin sharks in the gap of between the fabric and her body. The chocolate skinned girl grinned ear to ear as she hugged herself, well her plushies but it still looked adorable. I chuckled at the girl's antics and we continued to ascend the steps hand in hand.

As we approached the candy red motorcycle, I noticed men dressed in black flanking both my sides from a fair distance; and another man approaching me.

'_Three man rob; maybe rape_,' I easily could tell by the glint of the approaching man's switchblade.

"Give your money now!" He demanded, flailing the knife wildly.

"Hey calm down," I tried to negotiate, glancing behind me to find the two men carried a pipe and a crowbar.

'_Just like old times, except this time you aren't in chains_.'

"Listen I don't want any trouble-" I tripped Maria's hand tighter.

"Give me the money or the girl dies!" He reached out to yank Maria away; but I was quick to punch him in the face.

"Maria run!" I ordered. The mute girl ran as fast as she could. The two men tried to go after her; but using the man I was fighting as a source of balance I was able to trip up both men. The two men fell face first into the pavement. I pryed the knife from the first man's hand; to which he proceeded to push me up against the wall; almost knocking the wind out of me.

I quickly ducked the incoming fist; distinctly hearing a clang against the metal. The man drawled back in pain, clutching his wounded hand. I swiftly preformed a roundhouse, my foot hooking the back of his neck and slamming him into the side of the vehicle.

A hand grabbed the back of my head and smashed it into he side of the vehicle. I dropped to the concrete disoriented by the attacker. As my vision cleared I heard a growling from behind me. As both my attackers and I looked around; and I was surprised to find that Aussie pounced on the attacker in front of me. It was as if he leapt over the height of the vehicle in some act of godly power for the three legged dog; and he was a merciless God given from the screams of his victim.

My third and final attacker began to retreat; and I sloppily shot to my feet and sprinted after him. Even though I was slightly battered from my ordeal I knew very well I had been through worse. Chasing down this asshole was gonna be a piece of cake. As he rounded a corner I b-lined straight for him; football tackling the man to the concrete. The force of the impact sent us both skidding, but only his head came in direct contact with the running boards of a truck; knocking him out instantly. I received a road rash to my left elbow, something that probably heal fully in a day or two.

I got to my feet; grabbed the unconscious perp's shirt collar and began to drag him back to where the other two lie. I was cut short however when Aussie happily tackled me. I fell to concrete happily being slobbered on by my pet. It had only been a year but I could feel the comfort of my Australian Shepard which felt like it had been decades.

"Hi! Hey, Aussie, oh, I missed you too!" I cooed the the Shepard flapping his ears about. The Shepard simply licked my face repeatedly. Maria ran up to me, wrapping her small arms around my neck, I could here faint sobbing from the small child. With one hand I stroked the child's back and the other I rubbed Aussie's head.

"I'm alright Maria; I'm alright. Are you hurt?" I looked the small child dead in the eye, to which the small child shook her head furiously.

"You still have your buddies?" I asked. Maria unzipped her oversized hoodie, revealing her twin plush sharks. I smiled.

"Are you alright?" I heard a voice ask, I looked up to find the metal-armed man standing over me, his flesh hand outstretched. I was thankful that my ball cap somehow managed to stay on through the entire ordeal.

"Yes, thank you." I took his hand, allowing him to easily lift me to my feet. I handed him the red leash to Aussie.

"I assume he's your dog." I said, making sure he was not able to see my face through the shadow of my cap.

"He can be a bit boisterous. Listen my friend is calling the police right now, do you need anything?"

'_Your lips on mine.'_

"No, thank you anyway."

"Are you sure?"

'_Not at all._'

"Yes. Thank you for your help." I picked up Maria.

"If it weren't for your daughter we wouldn't know what was happening?"

"She has her ways, but she isn't my daughter. I'm just babysitting her for the day. She's the daughter of a friend of mine." I looked at Maria whom was smiling proudly.

"Again thank you so much for your help." I smiled, bidding him farewell, whilst ignoring the shattering of my already shattered heart.

"Not a problem." He smiled.

As I walked away I could clearly hear Aussie whining. It pained me not to look back, knowing very well of the consequences that would occur.

"Mrs. Jensen says 'Hi' by the way." I heard Bucky's voice change from polite to spiteful. I stopped in my tracks.

'_ABORT. ABORT. ABORT_!'

I set Maria down on the motorcycles before slowly turning around, attempting to play dumb, "I'm sorry; I don't know who you're talking about?"

"Don't give me that bullshit Sam!" His metal band grabbed the collar of my jacket, planting me into the wall. I forgot how fast he was. I tried to pry out of his grip, but even though I had somewhat of new strength, I still couldn't release myself from his iron grip.

"Why!" He demanded angrily.

"There was a letter I left." I tried to breath.

"How dare you leave me like that! Do you know how much pain I went through because of you? Did you honestly think that I was going to forget you even existed? I've been through a lifetime of pain! I trusted you! I cared for you! More than I cared about anyone in my life! And this, this is how you repay me?"

I felt tear brim my eyes; knowing prior information that my letter was not found there, I had seen the pain that my decision had caused, not only to myself. His words pierced my shattered heart; and I something within my conscious snapped.

"I didn't have a choice!"

Bucky's grip loosened, dropping me to the concrete floor. I curled up into a ball and began to sob violently. Maria hopped off the motorcycle and hugged me tightly. I gratefully returned her sympathies.

"You didn't have a choice?" He repeated in shock.

"I wrote everything in a letter that I had left there for you." I tried to compose myself.

"Letter. What letter?" He asked, frustration seeping in his voice.

"I wrote a letter the day I left. I was for you. When I talked to Sam he said it wasn't there."

"Sam knows about this!"

"No! He saw me in the aquarium! I just found out about the whole letter thing a half hour ago!" I defended BirdMe.

"Bucky!" I heard Steve's voice. Bucky growled, his little private interrogation with me was over. As Steve walked up from the vehicle, he stopped as soon as he saw my face.

"Sam?" His brows furrowed. He cradled his son, making sure that Small James was to remain unaware of what had happened.

"Hi, Steve," I thin line appeared on my face.

'_This was going to be fun.'_

* * *

I sat in the corner of the quinjet like a child in time out. Albeit there was good reason why I would feel that way. Maria wasn't much help, since she was practically plastered to the window in amazement. I was thankful that Steve allowed me to pick up some belongings at my 'apartment'; Maria insisted that we take Anubis with us. Although I was t sure how he would react to Milo or Aussie, or any other animal that they had in the great big Llama tower I had only visited once.

Aussie sat oblivious to the tension on the ship as he lay his upon Bucky's knee. Bucky was only adding to the tension by his profound use of his glare. I felt the need to close myself off, I didn't exactly want to explain myself.

"Sam." Steve drew me from my dreaded thoughts, bringing me back to dreaded reality. I looked up at the tall blonde man, rocking his sleeping son. It was very hard not to stifle a laugh.

"Yes?" I tried to keep myself from laughing. He handed me a smartphone. I found myself staring at it, mainly because I hadn't had one in my hand in a year and a half.

"It's Nat. She wants to talk to you."

'_Oh boy_.' I grimaced, reluctantly raising the phone to my ear.

"Sam?" I heard the faint voice of my usually boisterous friend.

"Uh, hi; Nat."

"Are you hurt?"

"No. Well not really."

'_Something is wrong why isn't she shouting?_'

"Okay; that's good to know."

"Uh, Nat? Why are you whispering?"

"I rocking the baby to sleep."

'_What are you a baby making machine_?'

"Wait you had another kid?" I sat straight up.

"No no, Steve and I had twins. He has James with you and I have Natasha."

"Where did you get a name like that?"

"I'll explain when you get here."

"Uh okay."

"Would you mind giving the phone back to Steve?"

"Uh s-sure." I hand Steve the phone without word. Reverting back to my own solitude, and trying to avoid Bucky's death glares.

Anubis pried himself from Maria's grip and curled up into a ball in my lap. I gently stroked the Mau absentmindedly as I watched the ever joyful child glue her face to the glass window.

It was then I felt the pit drop in my stomach; my senses were going into overdrive, my muscles tensed so much that my knuckles were turning home white. I had about twenty second before my symptoms were going to start acting up.

"Hey Sam? Where's the bathroom?" I asked BirdMe.

"In the back corner on your right." He vaguely pointed to the back of the quinjet's interior.

I set Anubis down in my seat and briskly walked to the bathroom locking it as I entered. I grabbed the edge of the mirrored sink trying to steady my breathing. The pain in my stomach was traveling though my entire body, and the alien like blackening of my veins were becoming visible on the side of my neck. I was on the verge of throwing up everything I had ate in the past three days. I looked back up at the mirror, seeing the blackening of the whites of my eyes becoming evident against my blue eyes. It was so hard to hold in the screams I was afraid I was going to bite my lip off in the process. I felt my heart begin to beat so fast I thought it would hammer out of my chest.

A soft rapping came from the door, sending my internal alarm bells off.

"Sam; you alright in there?"

"I'm alright." I tried my best to sound normal. I didn't even register who it was that asked me the question. I knew for sure it wasn't Bucky so that was narrowing it down by one third. There was a silence that followed, from which I assumed that who ever asked me (Steve or BirdMe) had walked away, satisfied with my lie.

Although my pain was _not satisfied_. In fact it only heightened tenfold.

A short gasp escaped my lips, though I was quick to silence it. My vision was fading out again, I was honestly hoping I wasn't going to pass out; the only excuse I could probably come up with was I wasn't fond of flying. However, Nat would be quick to point out I could pilot a jet if I needed.

I guess I would have to prove Nat wrong.

I plummeted to the small floor of the bathroom. I felt my body drift into unconsciousness.

_I kinda wish my symptoms would just take me now, mainly because I didn't want to explain myself when I woke up._

* * *

**Hope you all liked it! I will try to post the next chapter as soon as I can!**

**please, please, please write me some reviews !**

**I love you all**

**Longboard917**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone! I had an awesome birthday, plus I got to see Ed Sheeran! Not in person but a concert so that's great right?! Any way my SAT's are tomorrow so what have I done to prepare, EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE CAUSE IM SO STREESED. **

**But I remembered that I had to post this lovely piece below for you wonderful people. **

**Thank you for all the reviews and birthday wishes, please PLEASE keep them coming!**

**hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 11: Routine

* * *

"Samantha?" I heard a muffled, yet calm voice ask my muted ears.

"Is she waking up?"

"I believe so."

I could feel the heat of some form of intense light beaming directly into my eyes. I blinked sleepily, allowing my eyes to focus on my surroundings. Once I was no longer in a blind stupor, a man with a green and red face hovered over me. I mean his entire body was hovering over my own like an out of body experience.

I felt that it was a good time to scream, simultaneously sitting upright in my bed.

"Sam! Sam, it's okay. He's not going to hurt you." Steve cradled my shoulders, assuring a sense of security. I looked at him and nodded, though I kept my knees close to my chest.

"I apologize if I frightened you, Samantha." The walking Christmas ornament spoke, in an almost robotic monotone.

"It's fine..." I blinked. The Christmas robot man nodded with a small smile.

"Do you care to tell us why your veins were turning black? Or did you write that in your letter too?" Bucky asked with spite; only a few milliseconds after he said it however, he received an elbow to his ribs from Nat.

"Actually I don't know what's going on; so if you have any information be free to speak your mind, _if you want_" I spat back at him childishly, even though I was technically lying; I knew very well I was dying slowly.

"All right you two, that's enough." Steve said in a fatherly manner (I'm guessing he's been saying it a little more often because he has children). Without word Bucky growled and left the room, slamming the door so hard the glass broke. There was a silence that followed, though BirdMe was quick to fill the void.

"Well whatever is happening to you, by the results it will eventually kill you." He said as if it were my first time hearing, well for him it was anyway.

"How?" I asked feigning shock.

"It's slowly shutting down your organs with every spasm; eventually it will get so powerful that your heart and your brain will stop simultaneously." Christmas Robot man elaborated.

That was news to me.

"Oh." I said quietly.

"I have been analyzing the antidote that Dr. Banner left behind; I believe with a little refining it may be a solution." The robot ornament spoke.

"So she will be alright?" Nat asked.

"It depends how long until the next spasm comes, and the rate of which it increases."

"So we have until the killer spasm come to fix you," BirdMe concluded.

"But we don't know when that is."

"Five months from now." I muttered. Luckily no one heard my words.

"Until then you are to stay on the property. I can allow you to roam around but you are not leaving again." Steve said. I gave a short nod. Satisfied with my answer he and the others left the room leaving me to get dressed.

Once I changed, Nat was waiting for me outside my hospital room.

She didn't look happy.

"I can't believe you left him." She stated plainly.

"That's in the past, shouldn't you be happy I'm here, or screaming at me like your usual self."

"Do you realize how much pain you caused _all_ of us. We thought you were captured, after Bucky went awol we didn't find him until last year. He was _devastated_, Sam. He didn't eat for three months, he still can't sleep. Do not get me started on how it affected me, do you know how much therapy I had to go through because of all this? I thought you were dead, I really did. And I accepted it. But now you show up and expect us to be happy, especially after we all read your little letter on why? I'm afraid you are wrong."

I stared at her with my mouth agape, she didn't raise her voice once. It was quite frightening on how much she had changed. Nat, my once matchmaker and closest friend was now a wife and caring mother; one that wasn't happy about what I had done. I truly felt sorry. I couldn't tell her one god damned thing about why I had really left.

_Could I?_

"You know how you were saying you wanted me to stop pushing people out?"

"I don't recall."

"Well I do, and I'm going to start now alright? So don't kick me, or punch me, or hurt me in any way, got it?"

"Are you pregnant?" She raised a brow.

"For god sakes no!"

"Okay for a second I was scared."

"Why are you turning into me! Never-mind, I know when the Bad Spasm is going to happen."

"What?"

"I know when I'm going to die."

She stared at me, "When?"

"Five months. I have five months to live."

"But- how do you know?"

"Right after you told me you were pregnant, a guy came in my room. He- he was the guy who- who tor- injected me. He told me I had two years to live. I could do anything otherwise he would kill you and your kids! I didn't- I didn't _know_ what else to do.. I didn't want them to get to you, or-or Bucky, or anyone... S-so I-I ran." Tears came pouring out of my eyes. Nat held me in a tight embrace as I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Shhh, it's alright." Nat calmly stroked my head as if I were her own child.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I racked and sobbed.

"We'll fix this." She repeated as she comforted me.

"I'm _so_ sorry Nat."

"It's okay. C'mon let's get you to your room."

She sat in my bed with me for three whole hours. Once I had calmed down, she told me everything that had happened.

Bucky was so terrified that I was captured he disappeared two nights after I was 'diagnosed' by HYDRA. They didn't come in contact with him until six months afterward. Apparently from Nat's description he was held by a magnetic vice of some sort when he was found. He was in such a poor state of health they had to rehabilitate him out of depression. It was only when the twins were born that he managed to get out of it.

BirdMe stopped by a short while after to escort Nat to take care of the said twins, leaving me to myself once more.

* * *

It took me a few days to get the hang of my new layout. Maria refused to sleep in a different room than I, let alone allow me out of her sight. The team would go on missions; I would have a daily check up with Vision, the Christmas colored robot. He was very nice contrary to how I first met him. I had also become acquainted with the other members of the team.

I was well aware of who War-Machine was, and I never really got to speak to him, mainly because he was juggling life as an Avenger, a high-ranking soldier, and being Stark's therapist (from what I heard from his 'heated' phone call with his friend- meaning tony did something he wasn't suppose to). He would always greet me with a smile when he could, which would almost always be followed by a hello.

I became much more acquainted with BirdMe, and I very much enjoyed his company. When ever he would have time to spare, we would chat over our favored show Game of Thrones, one that I desperately needed to catch up on. He was actually training me for future combat, because Fury apparently wants me ditching ready the moment I am cured. I wasn't complaining about my teacher at all, he was helping me do better than just a roundhouse. Steve would always chime in and help the poor guy out, and he would always ask how I was doing.

I had also discovered he wasn't the only bird of the group, there was yet another birdman apart of this troupe; one hat went by Hawkeye. He was an archer, and a master assassin from what I had been told. Also he has a farm and a family with four children. I was also told that he had a very dry sense of humor.

I had became good friends with the women of the Avengers. Wanda was particularly friendly to me. She was by far the newest member into this world, so she and I shared some culture clash between normal life and the one we shared now. She was, however, by no means normal; and she prided herself on that. Her long chocolate locks were cascading down to her back. Her attire and my own were similar, and I was allowed to go outside into the world with her. I admit it wasn't my taste to take shopping trips; but Nat would always insist that the two of us become more social. Like we weren't anyway.

I had a bit more trouble associating with Natasha however. She was more calm, cool, collected, and drop dead gorgeous. Her short curly bob of bright red hair was the easiest thing to spot after that it was a snowball effect of beautiful. Her body, her attitude; her everything. She was Russian as well. She was always around Bucky, the two fluently speaking the said language as if they were back in Moscow. Clearly the two Russians of the team were socializing more than Bucky ever had been with me. I admit I was envious; mainly because I could feel my heart shatter into a million pieces every-time he smiled around her, or anyone. How he would act like he did when we were living together, but he was much more; happy. It took away the feeling of what I had with him, the personal relationship between us. The light hearted nonsense, everything that was individual, unique. What I thought was spew jam was no longer there.

Although he was social with everyone; he made every attempt to avoid me as if I were an unwanted toy. I would train well into the night, hoping that I could somehow try to figure out a way to talk to him. Though furiously punching a sand bag wasn't the best way to go about it; but I didn't have any other bright ideas. Once he came into the training room while I was in one of my midnight sessions. I was well aware of his presence, and I stopped what I was doing to talk, only to find him leaving. I couldn't get a word in edgewise with him, and everyone knew it. I eventually got used to it, or I put up the façade that I had. Inside I was still breaking apart bit by bit.

Everything became routine; I would train, have the daily check up; chat with Wanda and Nat; all whilst watching Bucky live happily without me.

I was living my worst fear.

_He got over me._

* * *

_Four months left._

* * *

It had been an entire month since I arrived at the Avengers complex. As of now the team was watching a football game, whilst simultaneously trying to both control the three miniature mischief makers and explain the game to Wanda. I sat with a gin and tonic at the bar behind everyone in the great room, watching from the sidelines as they all enjoyed their lives (no pun intended). I had no idea if Nat told her husband or anyone about my personal countdown. If she did they were taking it as if it never existed. The antidote was no closer to being done, but it was coming along so that was something to hope for.

Though as of late nothing was what I had hoped for. I set my untouched alcohol down and retreated to my room. No one had even noticed my leave. I shut the door to my room and flopped into my bed. Curling up into the fetal position and deciding that I need some sleep.

That was until I heard the distinct knocking pattern of my current roommate. I got up from the bed, rubbing my puffy eyes whilst simultaneously trying not to step on Anubis.

"What is it Maria?" I said light heartedly. I was, however, cut short when I saw the child holding the metal hand of my _former_ roommate.

He wore but a simple blue shirt with the New York Giants logo on it (_go figure_). The top half of his hair was fastened into a small ponytail, although strands, longer than before, were hanging on the sides of his stubbled jawline. His waist was adorned with low rising grey sweats, and his feet covered in strip tic socks.

"Uh, B-Bucky." I blinked, praying that this was a dream. Maria shoved said Ex into my room and shut the door. I became truly alarmed when I heard a distinct click.

"Maria open the door!" I banged repeatedly.

Two knocks.

'_No_'.

"Is she deaf?" Said Ex asked, clearly annoyed.

"She's mute," I snapped; "Maria open the door now!"

_Two knocks._

"Maria this isn't funny!"

"Here lemme try." Said Ex offered. He tried to pull the door open, though ironically it wouldn't budge.

"The hell is door made out of?" He struggled.

"I don't know; Vibranium?"

He gave me a look.

"You said it, not me."

"I'll try the window." He determinedly walked toward the large glass window.

_That was five stories up._

'You must really hate me if you wanna use a window as an escape route.' I thought. I didn't notice that Bucky had ceased in whatever it was that he was doing.

"I don't hate you."

"What you can read minds now?" I said startled.

"You said that out loud."

'_I really need to stop doing that_.'

"Oh." I pursed my lips, "Maria I have Anubis, open the door!" The small child still refused stubbornly. I hit the door panel out of frustration, sliding down they wall to allow my knees to curl up to my chest. Anubis arched his back against my bare legs, allowing me to stroke his soft fur. I leant my head back, hearing a distinct thud when it hit the wall.

"Why?"

I eyes opened at the sound of Said Ex's voice. I found him inches from my face as he supported himself on his haunches.

"Why what?"

"Why leave." He demanded.

"It was personal."

The look he gave me radiated '_bullshit_'.

"Lemme guess; you want the truth?"

"I think I'm inclined to hear it."

"Read the letter." I stood, hoping to end the conversation.

"I did. Over and over. I'm still trying to comprehend why the hell you need to 'grasp your situation' for a year and seven months."

'_So he was counting too._'

"You may not understand it, but you could at least try to accept it."

"I DID ACCEPT IT! I _ACCEPTED_ THAT YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK! THEN YOU SHOW UP, _WITH A KID _AND ACT LIKE YOU WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! YOU ALREADY INFLICTED PAIN ON EVERYONE YOU LOVE, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T SEEM TO STOP!" He paced the floor before me angrily.

"Oh, and you think I wanted all of this! I never asked for it! I never asked for my kindness, _my love_ for someone, to get _me_ killed!" I instantly regretted my words.

"What?"

"Metaphor." I said jaded.

"No, that wasn't metaphor, Sam. I deserve to know." He pointed at me with his metallic hand.

"You deserve to know what? The truth, because that's-what, your life's purpose?" I spat trying to keep myself from forming tears.

"Right now it is! Sam you left the most important people in your life without reason. We all deserve to know the whole truth why!"

"What if I know you don't want to hear it!"

"I don't care! I loved you; and I want to know if it was my fault or not!" He grabbed my shoulders.

"If you read the fucking letter you would know that it wasn't!"

"I put you into that situation in the first place!"

"ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT I'M DYING!" My throat suddenly became dry.

He stepped back, he was still angry but he was more open to my explanation suddenly.

"They came to the hospital, they threatened not only you but Nat _and her children. _I couldn't let that happen, I had no other choice."

"That still doesn't explain about what you said."

"They also said I had two years to live. I didn't want you to deal with that situation, so I thought that I would spare you and the others any further damage."

"'_Spare me any further damage'_?" He wasn't taking it very well.

"Not my best idea at the time!"

"NO FUCKING SHIT SAM!"

'_Definitely wasn't taking it well._'

"If you would have- oh I don't know- _TOLD US_, this all could be avoided!"

"Like your any help! All you do is avoid me! Hell you tried to use a window as an escape route just now!"

"Don't pull that shit on me!"

"I should be saying that to you! You have done nothing to help my situation, you could ask Steve, or your Russian gal-pal, but NO. You avoid everything about me. I'm not dead yet so stop treating me like I am!

You think it was easy for me to just up and leave everyone?! It was the hardest thing I had ever done, I had to go overseas, I almost went to Italian prison! You have no idea how many times I saw the _slightest_ instance of normalcy and thought of running back to you! How many times I wanted to be in the same bed at night! To hug you, make pancakes, fucking sitting on the couch- doing stupid shit because I _loved_ you.

I knew the instant that I came back I would be gone, and I would headed to my grave! I _knew_ that would put you in more pain; I know what it's like to lose who you love; I had to go through it three separate times!" My throat burned with remorse. Said Ex simply stood there, his lips parted slightly; his signature blank expression crept back onto his handsome features.

Just as he opened his mouth a soft knock came from the door behind me.

"Sam? You in there?" BirdMe's voice asked. I turned around from said ex and freaked the door open to face BirdMe.

"Hey, Sam what's up?" I asked, yawning to feign sleep.

"Vision wants to see you in the medical wing." He said to me, accepting my act. I nodded.

"I'll be there." I told him. Satisfied with my answer he returned to the great room, with Maria in tow. I opened the door, leaving an escape route for said ex.

"You can go now. Since you can't stand being near me." I said, leaving before I could let him speak. Hope he would like a taste of his own medicine for once. I walked straight for the medical wing, which was far from the great room where the life of the complex was taking place. I entered the technologically advanced room greeting the techno-Christmas colored robot man.

"Hello Vision."

"Hello Samantha. How are you today?" He asked politely. I was already stripping out of my long sleeved shirt, revealing my black sports bra and numerous scars.

"Jaded. I hadn't had a spasm since last week though."

"That's good." He ran his diagnostics which took about an hour. It was practically the very same tests that Banner first ran on me in the hospital.

"Your blood toxicity has risen a bit, which would explain your fatigue. At this rate you should start receiving spasms once every three days."

"Joyous."

"I have ran extensive tests with variations of the antidote Banner had been working on; it seems we are closer to creating a retro-virus than we had expected."

"When do you expect the antidote to be ready?" I asked.

"Hopefully before your bad spasm; but until then we are unaware when that will occur. In about six months we maybe ready."

I nodded concurrently.

'_Not enough time_.'

"Do you think I could go on missions with the others if this retro-virus was accepted into my system."

"That I am afraid would be up to Captain Rogers and Director Fury."

"Oh," I bit my lip, awkwardly sitting upon the edge of the paper matted bed. The door suddenly open to Steve, BirdMe, and Bucky. They were no longer dressed for the football game, but in their mission attire.

"I am afraid we have to cut this checkup short Samantha," Vision said to me with a small apologetic smile. I admit for a robot that was designed to destroy us he was rather quaint to be around. I nodded, allowing the men (and robot) to leave the room. I hopped off the bed and reached to pick up my shirt. I instantly threw on the black hooded shirt, only turning around to yet again find Bucky glaring at me.

"What? It's not like you've never seen me naked." I pulled my sleeves down awkwardly. He said nothing, but he was no longer glaring, if that was sign at all. I still took as a sign he didn't want to talk to me, given that we had a heated argument but a hour ago. I kept my gaze to the floor and walked toward the open doorway.

Just as I walked past him, his metallic hand grabbed hold of my upper arm.

"Please tell me those were from HYDRA." He said in a monotone, though I could faintly hear a voice of concern. _Faintly_.

"Why do you care all of the sudden?" I said to him. He said nothing allowing me to leave without incident.

I traveled straight to the kitchen, welcoming the three troublemakers (plus Aussie) in open arms, even if they tackled me to the ground. Nat was making Mac and Cheese for them before they would be sent off to bed. I poured myself another gin and tonic as the children ate.

"Mom, aunt Sammie has an adult drink!" Natasha pointed at me.

"Tattle tale," I said playfully, sticking out my tongue.

"Well aunt Sammie is an adult so she can have those drinks." Nat laughed as she read her Outlander book.

"Aunt Sammie's not and adult!" The girl said defiantly.

"Yes I am!"

"Oh yeah? How old are you?" The playful girl smiled.

"30. How old are you!"

"I'm three! But I'm older than him!" She pointed to her brother, who was in fact younger than his sister by five minutes and forty three seconds.

"Aunt Sammie?" James spoke up, just enough for me to hear.

"What is it big guy?" I smiled, leaning on the counter to peer at his level.

"Is it true that you and Uncle Bucky used to live together?" He asked in oblivious happiness. I stared at him with mouth agape, stealing a glance with a at, who my looked down at her book like she was in trouble, which she would be soon.

"Yes we did." I said to him, smiling to hide the fact that I wish I still was living with him.

"Did you sleep in the same bed?" Natasha ask disgusted. I laughed.

"No we had different rooms." Which was technically true, it wasn't until we were running for our lives that I was sleeping in the same bed as him.

"I would never want to sleep with any one, I want the bed all to myself!" Natasha proclaimed. I gave her a high-five.

"Now that is a way to live mini-munch." I said to the girl. I looked over to Maria whom was nodding in agreement while stuffing her face with the neon colored noodles. I ruffled the small Egyptian's curly head, receiving a laugh in return.

The children finished their meals and watched the television, the team had yet to return so Nat and I were drinking at the kitchen counter waiting for the three small humans to fall asleep.

"So how are things going?" Nat asked, sipping her wine.

"Vision says I should start getting spasms every three days now." I solemnly took a swig of my gin and tonic.

"We are all doing our best here. You just need to muddle through it until the antidote is ready."

"What if _it_ comes before then? What then?"

"Don't think like that."

"That's all I can think about, Nat. It's just a giant countdown clock in my head."

"Are the nightmares still going on?"

I nodded, deciding to take another swig of my alcohol.

"Thanks for letting Maria stay in the kids room by the way, she could get some proper sleep now." I swallowed.

"She's a real sweetheart. Clint has been teaching her sign language."

"So that's where you've been taking her."

"He has kids of his own, I think she deserves to socialize as much as you."

"I'm guessing one is more social than the other." I quipped.

"You're a real ass sometimes."

"I'm well aware."

"I can see that." Nat laughed at my comment.

"Think they're asleep yet?" I asked, the TV was on but there was no movement or high pitched chatter from behind the wall of the couch.

Nat looked at her watch, "Five more minutes, if you try to pick them up now they'll wake up."

"Alright then." I poured myself yet another gin and tonic. At this point I might as well make a bottle of it and carry the damn thing around.

And I had _no_ problem becoming an alcoholic, I couldn't even get drunk in the fist place. Come to think of it, I could win a lot of money if I was in a drinking contest at some random bar.

* * *

Once the mini hell raisers fell asleep; Nat and I placed the children in their beds. Maria of course would not let go of my neck for a good solid minutes. Although she immediately released me when Aussie snuggled up to her. Nat was going to turn in for the night, since she was now used to Steve pulling an all nighter, or all week-er, if that's even a thing.

I, however, could not sleep even if I took a whole bottle of melatonin. Every time I closed my eyes I would see _him_. Wether he was smiling as he was covered in flour from his home cooking. Or his blue hazy eyes piercing into my own, no matter what emotion they conveyed. Or his dead gaze, his cold fleshy hand, and his precious skin covered in blood; for my nightmares always ended in his demise. And it was his demise I could not stand. I would wake in tears, soaked in my own sweat, his desperate clawing for breath echoed in my mind. Even though it was an illusion from my own mind betraying me, it would always feel real, meshing between the realms of dream and reality. It was not only frightening, but traumatizing.

I couldn't take it anymore, I threw myself out of bed. I changed into a black long sleeved shirt, (since that was the only type of shirts I owned), and a pair of sweatpants. I grabbed my wrapping tape, grabbed my black bag, and headed directly to the gymnasium. I dropped it as soon as I entered the empty domain. A lone hanging sandbag hung in the center of the yellow lit room. It honestly looked like a old forties boxing gym, (probably commissioned for Steve in the first place).

I honed in on the heaping hunk of sand and began punching the damn thing to kingdom come. I preformed not only roundhouses but what Sam and Steve taught me, I was doing so fast I barely had time to register what my next move was going to be. I was fairly surprised the bandaged sandbag was still together at this point. I honestly wanted to do nothing but release my frustrations until I would pass out. Halfway through I had to take my shirt off, only to be in a pair of low rising sweats and the sports bra I wore earlier that day.

As I punch the bag with one hand furiously, I noticed that the bag was getting darker in an area where my shadow was not. It looked like the dingy wall of my cell during my seventy-four days of hell. With one blink all of torture sessions flared to life in my memory. On instinct I whirled around in a vortex of fury, trapping the assailant by his outstretched arm and tackling him to the ground. I took my small throwing knife out of the back of my belt and held it against the assailant's neck. I failed to realize however, it was the very same person who had been keeping me up all night; staring at me with wide eyes.

Clearly he was caught off guard.

I instantly withdrew my knife, peeling myself from his soft grip upon my hips. Believe it was very hard to do so. He helped himself up to his feet score I could, though he stood at a further distance than he did before. I blew the strands of sweaty locks from my face, praying they wouldn't stick to my forehead. He stared at me with those hazy blue eyes.

"I see your back already."

"What happened to you? It's four thirty in the morning." He asked, almost in despair.

"I thought we already discussed this earlier today." I tried to remain blank in expressions, which was working so far.

"You mean yesterday?" He said.

"Whatever, it's still night time." I shrugged jaded.

"Sam. This isn't you."

"Let's just say I'm trying new things as of late." I turned back to the punching bag, continuing my 'training'.

"You have nightmares."

"Everyone has nightmares, it's normal."

"Not of what you went through with HYDRA."

I hit the punching bag with such force it sent it flying off the hook, sand spilled across the floor. My chest heaved up and down, a layer of sweat of coating my skin.

"What did they do to you?"

"You already know what they did to me!" I shouted in a burst of angst. He stared at me, as if he was ready to hear more.

"I am aware, but I know for sure that you wouldn't be doing this without reason. I know you better than that."

"People change." I said flatly, turning around to pick up the now broken punching bag.

"_Not you_."

His words made me stop mid-step. I sighed, knowing he was right.

"No, I'm just a shell of what once was a decent person."

"You still are a decent person. You're _more than_ a decent person."

"No I'm not."

"You were to me."

_Dammit his toying with my heart. _

"Why are you here anyway?" I asked, dragging the ripped bag over to the pile of Steve's broken ones he had yet to repair.

_ "_Same reason you are."

"And that is?" I wiped my hands of any sand grains.

"Our past."

"You still have nightmares then."

"Like you said, everyone gets nightmares."

"I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it."

"No. I do." He grabbed my arm, sliding his hand upon my numerous scars. His metallic fingers grazed over them, the cold digits sending a tsunami goosebumps up my body. He brought his lips to the scar upon my wrist from when the chains hung on my hands for seventy-four days straight. I watched as he kissed each scar, as if it were a consolation for every day, every memory, that the scar had harbored. As he reached my shoulder, I felt his hands hold my hips firmly in place. His soft lips barely resonated on my scarred skin, but it sent sensual chills up my spine.

"Bucky." I was barely able to say his name as his metal thumb rubbed circles over the massive scar on my lower stomach.

"_Sam_." He groaned, kissing the now scarred bullet wound within my collarbone. I felt my own hands glaze over his biceps, slowly, somehow managing to travel up to his stubbled jawline. Simultaneously, he looked directly at me with his blue hazed eyes.

"_Вы были когда-нибудь нужно, я._" He whispered in Russian. I still didn't learn the language; but I knew that it was something romantic given by his expression. His eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips, but so did my own. I felt his hands slither up my spine; his cold metallic palm emanating chills up my spine as is set firmly in the small of my back. I could feel his cold breath mingling with my own.

"Bucky I-," I was cut off when his mouth mashed upon mine. My heart soared and my eyes fluttered shut. I was in a euphoria for I had been in an exile for a year and eight months. His mouth molded to my own, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around the contours of my torso, allowing me to bring my body even closer to his. I felt as if I was ascending into the heavens, partly because I hadn't been in contact with any type of significant other for the 'dry spell'.

The euphoria lasted shortly however; especially when I could feel the pit of another spasm beginning in my stomach.

'_NOW OF ALL TIMES YOU DECIDE TO FLARE UP_!'

I pulled out of Bucky's grip, to which we were both unsatisfied with the parting. I backed away as far as I could, hunching over to divert the pain resonating from my stomach.

"Sam? What's wrong?" Bucky walked up to me alarmed.

"Spasm, Vision said they would be more frequent," I wheezed. Bucky's eyes were filled with fear. He scooped me up in his arms and left the strewn small gym, and my stuff as well. He raced to the medical wing, alerting Friday to wake up Steve, BirdMe, and Vision.

Before I passed out from the blackening of my veins and massive migraine, I had come to the conclusions that my Spasms were out to keep me from having sex. Which a couple seconds ago I was close to getting. My spasms were basically cock-blocking me; whilst simultaneously killing me slowly.

_This was torture in its most heinous form_.

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**This one took a while for me to finish. I hope you guys like this one, I'm going to try and type up more as soon as I can.**

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**love you all**

**Longboard917**


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